Upend The Send

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Our branch has just got a new drive through carrier system. The old system had canisters that opened the long way by flipping open but this new system has canisters that open by twisting the ends. All of the employees have been talking customers through the difference all week.)

Me: “Hello. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “How do I open this canister?!”

Me: “It is different than the old canisters. These canisters open by twisting the ends. Once you’re set, send it in and I can get that taken care of for you.”

Customer: “Well, how do I send it in?”

Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

Customer: *dinging call button* “What does this ‘call teller’ button do?”

Me: “It calls a teller, sir.”

Customer: *dinging call button* “I put it in there, why won’t it go?”

Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

Customer: *dinging call button* “It won’t go!”

Me: “You’re pushing call…”

Customer: “Why?!”

Me: “Uh…”

Thinking Way Outside The Box

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(It was getting to the end of the day at the bank. One of my tellers and a banker are in the drive-thru, starting to pack things up, when a customer pulls into one of the farthest lanes from the building.)

Customer: “I need to get into my safe deposit box.”

Teller: “Sure thing. I can let one of the bankers know that you will be coming in to get into your box.”

Customer: “No. I’m not coming in. I just want to get into my safe deposit box.”

Teller: “Well the safe deposit boxes are inside. They are inside the vault. The only way to get in the box is to go in the vault.”

Customer: “I know. I told you I am not coming inside. I just need to get into my safe deposit box.”

Teller: “How are you going to get your box out of the vault that is inside if you don’t come inside? Bank employees don’t have access to the safe deposit boxes because they contain your property. YOU have the key.”

Customer: “LOOK I TOLD YOU I’M NOT COMING INSIDE. ARE YOU GOING TO GET MY SAFE DEPOSIT BOX OR NOT?!”

Teller: “Seriously?”

Just Paper Cut Right To It

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Rude & Risque

(I answer the phone at work.)

Customer: “Hi. My name is [Name] and I am with [Gentlemen’s Club].  I am going to need to order some change.”

Me: “Okay. What will you need?”

Customer: “I need $1,400 in old ones.”

Me: “I believe I have $1,400 in ones, but I am not sure if they are all old.”

Customer: “Oh, I have to have old ‘ones’ because the new ones give the strippers paper cuts.”