He Was Bush-Fired

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Working | March 3, 2016

(Big bushfires are happening near our homes. The homes are 40 minutes commute by train from our office. There are 16 of us who commute into work together and as the day progresses we started to get concerned that the train line will be cut and we will be stuck in Sydney with no way to get home. Our manager commuted in with us and he starts packing up at 4 pm.)

Coworker #1: “If you’re packing up, are we able to as well?”

Manager: “Have you finished all your work?”

Coworker #1: “No, but we are all worried that we won’t be able to get home if we leave any later. Can we come in early on Monday to make up for it?”

Manager: “No, you need to stay and finish.”

(Needless to say, he left and got the last train home. The train line was cut off and 15 of us had to stay in a hotel and the company had to pay for our food, accommodation, and washing for the weekend as we had nothing with us apart from the clothes we wore to work. He was subsequently chosen to lose his job shortly after. Karma!)

Taxing Faxing, Part 15

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Working | February 7, 2016

(I am in charge of supervising money transfer between Bank’s partners and clients. We received a request to kickback an erroneous wire our client received a few months ago, and the order took an unusual amount of time to process due to lack of information. Eventually, the colleague in charge of processing wires confirmed she executed the transaction.)

Colleague: “It’s all done, [My Name]! I sent the fax for the transactions.”

Me: “A fax? Isn’t this done usually by emails?”

Colleague: “Yes, but our protocol requests that we proceed to these transfer through faxes.”

Me: “I see… The order has already been delayed for a while. How long do you think this will take to be processed?”

Colleague: “Probably one or two days.”

(Three days pass and we still do not see any evidence of money transfer going out. Our client is eager to have this payable out of its book and ask if we could just cancel the fax transaction and issue a regular wire instead of the whole kickback procedure.)

Me: “[Colleague], please call [Counterparty] and cancel the wire you issued earlier this week. [Client] wants to make a regular wire quicker by email. I’ll be in a meeting for the next hour, but do confirm me when you have cancelled the transaction so we can proceed as quickly as possible.”

(Later, I received the following email from my colleague:)

Colleague: “All right! I sent the fax to cancel the wire!”

(I literally had to bang my head on the desk for the next minute.)

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 14
Taxing Faxing, Part 13
Taxing Faxing, Part 12

Obeys Instructions To The Letter

, | Liverpool, England, UK | Right | January 27, 2016

(I’m in the security department and from time to time we send letters out to customers if we need to check transactions are genuine.)

Me: “[Bank] Security. You’re speaking to [My Name] in Liverpool; can I take your name, please?”

Customer: “I’ve got a letter, here.”

Me: “Okay, we’ll just be wanting to check some transactions on your account, just to make sure everything is genuine.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “It’ll just be a security check. Is that what the letter says?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(I assumed at this point that perhaps he couldn’t read so I was about to explain further when…)

Customer: “Should I open it?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Should I open the letter?”

Me: “Uh.. well… yes.”

Customer: “Okay, that’s all I wanted to know. Thanks, bye!”

(I feel bad, because I didn’t tell him to read it after opening it, and didn’t visit his address and personally type in our phone number for him, either.)

Vacation Time Waits For No Boss

| USA | Working | January 22, 2016

(In one week, I’m transferring to another department. My new boss and I have hit it off, and I’m very excited to work for her. My current boss has a “blackout list” of vacation days that I’m not allowed to request off, because those are what she wants off.)

Current Boss: “Oh, remember to ask [New Boss] about your vacation time. You’ve got that week off coming up next month, and you better make sure it’s not on her blackout list.” *smirks* “You might have to change it.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Current Boss: “I’m just saying. I approved it off, but SHE might not.” *walks away*

(I become very upset, as I’m planning on being out of state that week. I call my new boss.)

New Boss: “Hi, this is [New Boss].”

Me: “It’s [My Name], and I had a question for you about vacation time.”

New Boss: “Oh good! I’ve been meaning to call you about that! You’ve got some coming up, don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, next month, on [dates]. Will you need me to change that? [Current Boss] said you might, but it’s a family thing, and we’ve already got hotel reservations made, and—”

New Boss: “Of course not. My system shows you requested that months ago. You go on your trip, and have a great time! Now, my system also shows that you’ve got a few vacation days left this year. I’d love to get that scheduled, if you know when you want to take it.”

Me: “Well, I wanted to find out what your blackout dates are, and then schedule it around that.”

New Boss: “My what now?”

Me: “Your blackout dates. [Current Boss] has a list of dates that I’m not allowed to request off. What are yours?”

New Boss: “Uh… I don’t do that.”

Me: “You don’t?”

New Boss: “Of course not. That’s completely unfair to you. Now, what time did YOU want off?”

Me: “Well, I’d really like some time off the week of Christmas… but only if that’s not an inconvenience to you.”

New Boss: “Excellent. Email me the specific dates. It doesn’t look like anyone has requested off that week yet. And just so you know, as long as you get your vacation requests in early, you’ll get approved. As long as the whole department doesn’t take off the same day or week, we’re fine. How does that sound?”

Me: “…That sounds like the best thing I’ve heard all day.”

New Boss: “Great. Now, have an awesome day, and I’ll see you next week!”

(I hang up, practically jumping up and down in my chair. My current boss comes by.)

Current Boss: “Well?”

Me: “I don’t have to change anything next month, and I can take time off the week of Christmas!”

Current Boss: “…I was totally thinking about giving you that time off at Christmas.”

Me: “Uh-huh. Last month, you said I couldn’t because—”

Current Boss: “I KNOW WHAT I SAID! I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT!” *stomps off*

Doesn’t Know Zip About His Code

| AL, USA | Right | January 11, 2016

(I am processing a customer’s application and realize his zip code on his account is ****6 but the one on his application is ****1. Wanting to correct the mistaken one I ask him.)

Me: “Excuse me. Sir, what is your zip code?”

Customer: “It’s ****4.”

Me: “Sir, you put ****1 on your application and our account is showing ****6. That’s 3 different zip codes.

Customer: “Oh, it doesn’t matter. They are all the same city, so I just give whichever one pops into my head first.”

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