A Truly Confusing Exchange

| USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology, Tourists/Travel

(I have a customer who is getting ready to travel out of the country. I often have people ask about using cash, travelers checks, and credit cards while abroad.)

Me: “… Another option that is available to you is using ATMs to get cash out once you are where you are going. That way you aren’t walking around and traveling with a large sum of cash.”

Customer: “Yeah, I can get some money and exchange it at a bank there.”

Me: “No, you can just get the money from the ATM directly without having to

exchange it.”

Customer: “But the money I get from the ATM is US dollar.”

Me: “No, the ATM dispenses the local currency.”

Customer: “Why can’t I get money from an ATM when I’m out of the country?”

Me: “You can. It will just be in the local currency.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! Why can’t I get US money from an ATM?!”

Me: “Because the ATM is not in the US. The same reason our ATM out front does not dispense any money other than US currency.”

Customer: “I just can’t understand why I can’t get my money when I’m traveling!”

Do Not Like

| USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Money

(I work at a branch in a college town, so our customers are often in their late teens. I have just been commenting to a coworker that all these kids make me feel old when this happens.)

Customer: “I, like, want to, like, deposit some money in, like, my, like, account.”

Me: “Certainly. Is that going to checking or savings?”

Customer: “Like, checking?”

Me: “Of course. Do you want all of your check going in or would you like some cash back for yourself?”

Customer: “Like, can I, like, get $20, like, back?”

(I process everything through and the customer leaves.)

Me: *to coworkers, who are dying laughing* “And that, my friends, is the future of the world. Dear god, I hope she isn’t an English major.

Just Crushed Her Saga

, | USA | Money, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. My name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, ma’am. I do believe there’s a fraudulent charge on my account.”

Me: “Oh, no! Let’s see what we can do. Which item is fraudulent?”

Customer: “The $29.99 charge on January ninth.”

(I scroll down to the charge and then I notice the woman’s account is completely over-run with $0.99 charges to Google. When people get customer debit card numbers, they often make small purchases so they customer won’t notice, but this is completely insane.)

Me: *ignoring the Google charges for the time being* “Okay, I see the $29.99 charge. Do you want me to file a dispute on this item?”

Customer: “Oh! Oh, now wait, honey. I know what it is. I forgot I ordered that purse from the TV.” *laughs* “Never mind. I didn’t mean to waste your time! Thank you so much!”

Me: “Wait, ma’am, hold on. I’m glad you figured out that charge was legitimate, but I do need to ask you… Um, are you aware there are multiple small transactions to Google on your account? I mean, they go all the way back for at least three months. I’m seeing so many I can’t count them all!”

Customer: “Oh, honey, I know. My husband tells me I need to stop!”

Me: “Stop, ma’am? Stop what?”

Customer: “Oh, you know. Ain’t you ever felt so swag you just had to play Candy Crush at three am?”

Me: *blink* “No, ma’am. Can’t say that I have.”

Customer: “Oh, I just get so mad. I just gotta beat that level!”

Me: *laughs* “Well, hey, we all gotta unwind somehow!”

Customer: “How much I spent on Candy Crush anyhow? $50?”

Me: *tallying it all up* “Um… it looks like approximately $767.87 in three months.”

(There is a prolonged silence.)

Customer: “HOW MUCH!?”

Me: “$767.87, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh honey, don’t you tell my husband. He already mad at me as it is. Oh well! Thanks, baby, you have a great night!”

(The customer had well over $15,000 in her regular checking account so I suppose she wasn’t missing it too badly!)