Cutting Down Credit Fraud

, , , , | Right | July 15, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey, man! I got some fraudulent charges on my credit card.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I understand. Let me help you report this.”

Caller: “Don’t worry, son, I already took care of it.”

Me: “So you already called to report it?”

Caller: “No, son, I cut my credit card in thousands of pieces. Now I need a new one.”


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Unfeasible Fees

, , , , | Right | July 9, 2010

Customer: “I don’t like these hidden fees! You guys never told me I would have a fee for this!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, however, we did send you documentation when you opened your account, and the fees were clearly explained.”

Customer: “No one reads those! I shred the mail as soon as I receive it!”

Me: “It’s also on our website if you’d like to have a look.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer. You can’t expect people to go online to search for your hidden fees. I bet if I go on the site, it won’t even be there!”

Me: “If you’d like I can tell you all our fees over the phone right now; I’d be more than happy to.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that! Do I look like someone who has time for that?”

Me: “Would you like me to re-mail you the agreement of the account? You’d receive it five business days.”

Customer: “You’re not even listening. You’re an idiot! I told you, I shred my mail when I get it!”

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Don’t Bank On It

, , , , | Right | June 29, 2010

(I am assisting a young woman over the phone; she has just had her wallet stolen.)

Caller: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Of course.”

Caller: “I had $200 in cash in my wallet when it was stolen. If I tell the police how much was in it, will they give it to me?”

Me: “You mean, if you tell them you had $200 in cash stolen, will they just give you $200?”

Caller: “Yes! Will they give it to me?”

Me: “I don’t think it works that way. If they manage to recover your wallet and the money is still inside they would probably return it to you, but I don’t think that happens very often.”

Caller: “Oh.”

*long pause*

Caller: “What if I told them it was $20? Do you think they would give me that much?”


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No ID, No Idea

, , , , , | Right | June 26, 2010

Customer: “So how long will it take to receive my new debit card?”

Me: “Five to seven days.”

Customer: “How will I make sure no one uses my card?”

Me: “Although there is no 100% foolproof way, you can start by writing ‘SEE ID’ on the back of the card so merchants can cross-reference it with your ID for each transaction.”

Customer: “Oh! I can’t do that. I do a lot of transactions online and they won’t be able to see my ID.”

*long, awkward pause*

Customer: “Never mind, just pretend I didn’t just say that.”

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Magnetic Lines Of Farce

, , , | Right | April 8, 2010

(An elderly customer we have orders a new credit card, like clockwork, every two weeks.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. This is [Credit Card Company]. We were reviewing your history with us and we noticed that you get a new one every two weeks.”

Caller: “Of course I do! They won’t work!”

Me: “What exactly is wrong with it, ma’am?”

Caller: “The magnetic strip isn’t working!”

Me: “How can you tell this?”

Caller: “Well, when I put it on the fridge, it just falls off!”


This story is part of the Clueless With Credit Cards roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Ridiculous Stories About Weird Customers You’ll Meet At The Bank

 

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