Just Paper Cut Right To It

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Rude & Risque

(I answer the phone at work.)

Customer: “Hi. My name is [Name] and I am with [Gentlemen’s Club].  I am going to need to order some change.”

Me: “Okay. What will you need?”

Customer: “I need $1,400 in old ones.”

Me: “I believe I have $1,400 in ones, but I am not sure if they are all old.”

Customer: “Oh, I have to have old ‘ones’ because the new ones give the strippers paper cuts.”

A Truly Confusing Exchange

| USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology, Tourists/Travel

(I have a customer who is getting ready to travel out of the country. I often have people ask about using cash, travelers checks, and credit cards while abroad.)

Me: “… Another option that is available to you is using ATMs to get cash out once you are where you are going. That way you aren’t walking around and traveling with a large sum of cash.”

Customer: “Yeah, I can get some money and exchange it at a bank there.”

Me: “No, you can just get the money from the ATM directly without having to

exchange it.”

Customer: “But the money I get from the ATM is US dollar.”

Me: “No, the ATM dispenses the local currency.”

Customer: “Why can’t I get money from an ATM when I’m out of the country?”

Me: “You can. It will just be in the local currency.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! Why can’t I get US money from an ATM?!”

Me: “Because the ATM is not in the US. The same reason our ATM out front does not dispense any money other than US currency.”

Customer: “I just can’t understand why I can’t get my money when I’m traveling!”

Do Not Like

| USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Money

(I work at a branch in a college town, so our customers are often in their late teens. I have just been commenting to a coworker that all these kids make me feel old when this happens.)

Customer: “I, like, want to, like, deposit some money in, like, my, like, account.”

Me: “Certainly. Is that going to checking or savings?”

Customer: “Like, checking?”

Me: “Of course. Do you want all of your check going in or would you like some cash back for yourself?”

Customer: “Like, can I, like, get $20, like, back?”

(I process everything through and the customer leaves.)

Me: *to coworkers, who are dying laughing* “And that, my friends, is the future of the world. Dear god, I hope she isn’t an English major.