Quarter Of A Dollar, Quarter Of A Brain

| Right | February 21, 2012

Customer: *placing coin in front of me* “This is a dollar.”

Me: “That’s a quarter.”

Customer: “Right, a quarter dollar.”

Me: “Yes, a quarter dollar.”

Customer: “So which is it, a quarter or a dollar?”

Me: “It’s a quarter.”

Customer: “Then why does it say quarter dollar?”

Me: “Because it’s a quarter of a dollar.”

Customer: *uproarious laughter*

Me: “I wasn’t kidding.”

Customer: *leaves looking extremely disappointed*

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Letting Loose

, | Right | February 16, 2012

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Not too good. My bowel movements are very loose.”

Me: *speechless*

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The Bank Appreciates Your Donation, Part 2

| Right | November 21, 2011

(I work in the personnel assistance phone queue. Basically, it means I take escalated calls from angry customers.)

Customer: “My deposit is missing.”

Me: “Okay, was it a branch deposit or an ATM deposit?”

Customer: “I went through the drive-through at your bank branch and made my deposit. It’s not in my flipping account yet and I need it now!”

Me: “Okay, I’d be happy to take a look at it. What’s your account number?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have an account with your bank…”

 

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I’ll Be Your PDA If You Show Me Some PDA

| Romantic | November 8, 2011

(I’m at the bank with my wife. I approach the information desk to submit some forms.)

Teller: “Good morning sir, do you have your account number?”

Me: “No, I don’t, but I can give you–”

(Without missing a beat, my wife suddenly cuts in and states my entire account number from memory.)

Me: *surprised* “Yes, I do.”

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In Need Financial Coaching

, | Right | October 24, 2011

Member: “Can you refund the overdraft fee you guys charged me? I’m a struggling single mother and my kids won’t be able to eat tonight unless you refund that. Do you want my children to starve?”

Me: “I will be happy to look into that for you. Was the most recent transaction fraudulent or otherwise improper?”

Member: “No.”

(I look at the account to see that she has overdrafted her account due to a $300 purchase at the Coach Outlet. Not exactly a prudent purchase for a struggling single mother.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I will not be able to refund that fee for you at this time.”

Member: “My children are going to go to bed hungry tonight! I hope you sleep well tonight with that on your mind!” *hangs up*

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