You Can Get There Via Wardrobe

, , , , | Related | August 6, 2017

(My 20-year-old son is bragging to his younger sister and me about how he knows the geography of other countries, and isn’t a stupid American.)

Son: “And I know all the Canadian Provinces! There’s Newfoundland, Prince Caspian….”

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Will Make It Up To You

, , , , , | Right | March 3, 2015

(I work for a popular makeup company that provides free ‘make-unders’ to clients for special occasions and events. I work in a full-sized boutique. I have a client in for a homecoming look. She looks about 16. Her mother is there with her as well.)

Client: “This is such a cool job. I’d love to work here.”

Me: “Well, how old are you? You have to be 18 to work here.”

Client: “Darn! I’m 17 for another few months. So close.”

Mother: “Anyway, honey, you need to get a REAL job. You’re better than being a makeup counter girl.”

(I proceed to drop the brush I’m using because I was so surprised that someone would say that right in front of my face. Her daughter looked mortified and gave me an apologetic look. I go behind the counter and get an application.)

Me: “Here, fill out this application. I’ll put in a good word for you when you turn 18.”

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Cos-Proposal

, , , , , , | Romantic | July 17, 2012

(My then-boyfriend and I are at ‘Otakon’ in Baltimore. We have just run into a Jareth cosplayer, the Goblin King character from the film ‘Labyrinth’, played by David Bowie. I am a huge fan.)

Me: “Oh, my, God! Jareth!”

(I start ‘fan-girling’ over the amazing costume with the Cosplayer, who is playing up the costume really well.)

Boyfriend: “I remember the end. Sarah was stupid not to acccept his offer.”

Me: “Don’t ruin it by reminding me that the Goblin King didn’t get his Queen.”

(He suddenly gets down on one knee and takes my hand.)

Boyfriend: “I ask for so little. Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want.”

Me: *stunned* “Oh, God.”

Boyfriend: *pulls out ring* “Just fear me. Love me. Do as I say and I will be your slave.”

Me: *grinning like an idiot* “Yes. Yes! YES!”

(I grab him in a stranglehold of a hug.)

Me: “How many times did you watch that movie to remember that line?”

Boyfriend: *putting the ring on my finger* “Don’t ask, but I knew that you’d only say yes if I did something unique.”

Jareth Cosplayer: “Well played.”


This story is included in our Cosplay roundup.

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Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

, , , , | Learning Right | October 27, 2011

(I work in the testing center for a community college. We administer placement exams and make-up exams, among other things. This particular student is taking his placement exam.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I have you set up on that computer over there.” *points to computer* “Just finish filling in your personal information and the test will begin.”

Student: “Okay, thanks.”

(About forty-five minutes go by as the student goes through the exam. I then see him raise his hand, so I stand up and walk over to his computer.)

Me: “Is there something wrong?”

Student: “Yeah, it’s telling me that I’m about to start the arithmetic test.”

Me: “Yes, that is part of the placement exam.”

Student: “But I’m supposed to be taking a math test, not an arithmetic test!”

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So Pho, So Crazy, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | January 5, 2011

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Sorry, I was just curious. What ethnicity are you?”

Me: “Oh, I’m Vietnamese.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “You know, from Vietnam?”

*blank stare*

Me: “…like the Vietnam War?”

Customer: “Oh! You were in that?”

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