Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Why Don’t You And I Make It A Baker’s Dozen

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2008

Me: “Hello, [Bakery]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hey, you sound tired.”

Me: “Um… yes? How may I help you?”

Customer: “Rough night last night? I heard you were busy.”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Partying worn you out, huh? Well, hopefully, you aren’t too worn out when you come home if you know what I mean.”

Me: “Sir, this is [Bakery]. I believe you’ve dialed the wrong number.”

Customer: “Well, s***.”

Me: “…yes.”

Customer: “Do YOU want to come over later?”

Me: “No.” *click*


This story is part of the Peculiar Customers roundup!

Read the next Peculiar Customers roundup story!

Read the Peculiar Customers roundup!

Fat, Dumb Fingers

, , | Right | April 22, 2008

(I was sitting at home watching TV. My phone number ends with, let’s say, -1269. The phone number for the bakery ends with -1296. I am constantly getting called by people who think I’m that bakery.)

Me: “Hello?”

Dude: “I need the bakery.”

Me: “I think you have the wrong number.”

Dude: “Oh, sorry.”

(He hangs up. Brief pause. Phone rings.)

Me: “Hello?”

Same Dude: “Can I get the bakery?”

Me: “You have the wrong number.”

(Dude hangs up. Phone rings.)

Me: “Hello?”

Same Dude: “I need the bakery.”

Me: “I think you should check the number… I don’t have a bakery department.”

Same Dude: “Well, you did this morning!”

Me: “I meant I’m not [bakery]. I’m just a person sitting at home.”

(Dude hangs up. Phone rings AGAIN. I glance skeptically at it and finally go over. I don’t say anything.)

Same Dude: “Hello?”

Me: *click*

(He called eight more times that evening. Eventually, I just told him we were closed.)

Not So Sweet Toothed

, , , , | Right | April 17, 2008

(The bakery has just closed. I just clocked out, and am on my way out of the store.)

Lady: “Excuse me, could you decorate this cake for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. My shift is over, and the bakery is closed.”

Lady: “But I need it done for tomorrow! If you don’t do it, I’ll call your manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, what do you do for a living?”

Lady: “I’m a dentist.”

Me: “Would you like to look at my teeth after your shift ends, for free?”

Lady: “That’s different. My job is hard. Anyone could do your job.”

Me: “Then you won’t mind taking that cake home and decorating it yourself.”

Born To Nag

, | Right | February 17, 2008

(I was traying up baked goods one Friday night, and around 8 o’clock a middle-aged woman walks up to the counter.)

Woman: “Hello, excuse me?”

Me: “Yes? Do you need help with anything?”

Woman: “Yes, I’d like to know if you have baked bread on Sundays?”

Me: “Yes… this is a bakery. We have fresh bread every day.”

Woman: “I know! I was just wondering if it was fresh on Sundays! I don’t want to come in and buy stale bread. I bought a stale loaf one time and it was disgusting!”

Me: “Well, yes, we do. We don’t sell stale bread, ma’am, or we would get in trouble.”

Woman: “Okay, I was just making sure! If there was stale bread I would’ve been angry!”

Me: “Well we actually can’t sell stale bread… it’s a health code issue.”

Woman: “Well, GOOD! I’m glad you’re finally doing your job.”

Me: “…”

(The woman storms off.)