When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

, | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “One moment, please.”

Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

Half-Baked Conviction

| OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A customer calls into the bakery from another state wanting to order some baked goods for a friend of hers in our city. She begins the conversation trying to ascertain that we were a popular bakery, and that people in the city actually buy from us. This line of questioning takes about 10 minutes.)

Caller: “Between you, me, and the light post, do your baked goods actually taste good?”

Customers In Glass Stores Shouldn’t Throw Stones

| Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

(My store is right next to a movie theater in a really rich area. The mall mostly caters to wealthy adults, and as such does not have a food court. My store is the only non-sit down food in the mall. I have just closed down for the night. My store front is glass without blinds.)

Group Of Teenagers: *banging on the windows and doors* “Hey! Let us in! We need cookies!”

(They then proceed to pull on the door and make all sorts of noise. Finally I confront them.)

Me: “My store is closed. You were aware of this and still you banged on the door and nearly set off the alarm. Now you have left marks all over my windows and doors. You will clean them up now, and then you will leave.”

(I hand them paper towels and window cleaner.)

Lead Teenage Boy: “I don’t have to do that! You can’t make me! What’ll happen if I don’t?”

Me: Well, [Lead Teenage Boy], not only do I know your name, as well as where you live, I can ban you from the store and have security escort you from the property. I can also look at the door carefully and if there is damage, file a report with the police department. I guess you forgot that I used to ride your bus, didn’t you?

(They proceeded to clean up the windows and never banged on my doors again. Believe it or not, they were not the only kids whom I made clean the glass.)