Should Have Gone For (M)Academia

, , , | Right | July 15, 2010

Customer: “What’s in the White Chocolate Macadamia cookie?”

Me: “White chocolate and macadamias.”

Customer: “Oh, duh. That was a stupid question.”

Me: “It’s okay, people ask me all the time what kind of nuts are in the ‘Chocolate Almond Joy’.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, haha! Walnuts!”


This story is part of our Stupid Eaters roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Customers Who Were Dumber Than The Burgers They Ordered

 

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A Rude Retorte

, , , , | Right | July 12, 2010

(I am a cake decorator in a bakery. I am closing up the department when the phone rings.)

Me: “This is the bakery. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Oh, my god, please tell me you have the cake kit!”

Me: “Yes, we do have the kit.”

Customer: “Finally! I’ve looked everywhere for it and you’re the only place that has it! Okay, I need to order a cake.”

Me: “All right, when are you going to need it?”

Customer: “In about thirty minutes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I am not be able to do that.”

Customer: “What? Why the h*** not?”

Me: “The bakery closes at 6:00 pm on Sundays and I’ve already clocked out for the day. I can place the order for tomorrow afternoon, though.”

Customer: “No! No! I need it now! It’s my son’s birthday today and I need a cake! I forgot to order the cake!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “You can make my son’s god-d*** cake is what you can do!”

Me: “I’m sorry. You can come and choose one from our case and I could write something on it for you.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want those cakes! That’s great! Just great! I hope you’re happy; you just ruined my baby’s first birthday!” *hangs up*

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It’s Not Just The Bread That’s Thick

| Right | February 9, 2010

Customer: “How thick do you slice my bread?”

Me: “It depends how thick you’d like it. We have both a thin and thick slicer.” *gestures to show each thickness*

Customer: “Are you sure that’s as thick as you slice the bread? Show me a thick slice. Maybe you got it wrong.”

Me: “Okay, one moment.” *gets a thick slice of bread*

Customer: “That’s it? THAT’S your thick slice? You didn’t grab the thin by mistake?”

Me: “No, sir, I made sure to get a thick slice. I don’t have to slice it if you’d rather do it yourself.”

Customer: “No! I shouldn’t have to slice it myself to make it filling! You should change your bread. I’m used to good, thick European bread. You shouldn’t even be called a bakery, you don’t make real bread!”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t actually make the bread. I just sell it.”

Customer: “Oh, and I suppose you didn’t name the company either?”

Me: “No, I didn’t.”

Customer: “DON’T GET SMART WITH ME!”

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The Custom-fur Is Always Right

, , | Right | December 18, 2009

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a lemon and lime pie, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, we don’t sell those. We never have.”

Customer: “But I was so sure. Let me just check.” *pulls out phone and dials* “Hi, darling… Yes, I know, but she says they don’t sell them anymore. Okay, I’ll put you on…”

Customer: “He’d like to talk to you.” *hands me the phone*

Me: “Hi, sir. I’m sorry, but we don’t sell lemon and lime pies.”

Phone: “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

Customer: *to me* “You see?!”


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The Cake Is A Lie

, , , | Right | November 5, 2009

Me: “Okay, would you like the cake to say anything?”

Customer: “Like what?”

Me: “Happy Birthday? Happy Tenth Birthday?”

Customer: “Oh! Well, if you could teach it to sing ‘Happy Birthday,’ that would be great!”

(I thought the customer was joking, so I wrote “Happy Birthday” on the cake as usual. Later on, the customer called in complaining that his cake didn’t sing when the candles were lit!)


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