Baking Up Baby

| Right | May 2, 2011

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to get cookies. How much are they?”

Me: “By the size of the box or the bag. We have 4 and 8 pound bags, and different sized boxes.”

Customer: “8 pound bag? So I could fit a whole baby in there?”

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Congra-duh-lations

, , , | Right | April 22, 2011

(A customer comes to pick up her cake. I hand it to her and she starts to laugh.)

Customer: “You’ve spelled this wrong, honey.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can fix it for you right away. How do you spell the name?”

Customer: “The name is right. It’s ‘Congratulations’ you’ve spelled wrong.”

(I look at the cake but see no error.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t see a mistake.”

Customer: “Right here. You’ve spelled it with a ‘t’ instead of a ‘d’. It’s okay. You can just give me a discount and I’ll go on with it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I’m not authorized to give discounts.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager.”

(Long story short, we ended up having to find a dictionary to prove I had spelled it right. She didn’t get a discount.)

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A Bit Grey With Anatomy, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | December 14, 2010

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(A girl begins to choke on some bread. The mother then proceeds to try and give the daughter some bizarre imitation of the Heimlich Manoeuvre.)

Me: “Ma’am, wait for her to stop coughing before you help her.”

Customer: “What? She’ll die by then!”

Me: “I’m certified in CPR; I know what I’m talking about. It’s not an emergency until she can’t cough. When she can’t cough anymore, I can help her.”

(The customer is now basically punching her daughter in the stomach, and I’m becoming increasingly worried that she is going to injure her. Suddenly, the girl stops coughing.)

Customer: “See, I didn’t need your help. And you know what? I’m certified, too. I watch Grey’s Anatomy every time it’s on!”


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Taxing Faxing, Part 7

, , , , , | Right | December 9, 2010

Me: “Hi, [Cake Shop]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, do you have cake boxes?”

Me: “Like the ones we put the sold cakes into?”

Caller: “Yeah, but do you have just plain coloured ones?”

Me: “No, sorry. We only have ones with the company’s logo on it.”

Caller: “Well, can you order one? I told my friend that I got a special cake shop to make the cake, but I made it, and all I need is a plain box.”

Me: “Sorry, we can’t do that.”

Caller: “Okay, then, I’ll just get the one with a logo. Can you mail it?”

Me: “No, that’s not store policy. Customers have to collect it themselves.”

Caller: “Well, then just fax it to me.” *tells me his number – and before I can respond* “Thank you!” *hangs up*

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Sinfully Delicious

, , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2010

(This bakery is a vintage style, family-owned bakery with custom names for each product.)

Customer: “As a man of the cloth, I know this is a weird order. But could I get a Hazel Feelgood and a Drunk Blondie?”


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