Needs A Slice Of Common Sense

| Australia | Food & Drink

(I work in a location of a popular bakery chain. Occasionally, we have a customer who comes to us trying to get bread that was bought outside of our store sliced by us. We can’t allow that because of food safety concerns. I have just finished up with a lady and am putting her money in the till when a customer tries to flag my attention before the other customers.)

Me: “One second, ma’am.”

(The customer huff impatiently and I put away the money. I smile at her to show her she has my attention.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Finally. Well, I bought this loaf and I forgot to get it cut, you see, and I was wondering if you could just throw it in your slicer there.”

(I assume she is a customer we had just served in our rush who has come back, before I notice that the loaf actually belongs to another popular bakery chain.)

Me: “Oh ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t take your bread.”

Customer: “I just want it sliced. I don’t care how you do it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really can’t do that. It’s a safety issue. I mean, I don’t think that you or the bakery has put anything in the bread, but we just can’t take the chance.”

Customer: “But it’s your bread!”

Me: “Actually, it comes from [other popular bakery chain].”

Customer: “Yes!” *explaining it slowly* “And you’re all part of the same company.”

Me: “Actually that’s not quite true, you see—”

Customer: “Look, are you going to slice this bread or not?!”

(I look at my supervisor, who shakes her head.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Customer: “Fine! Well I guess I won’t buying anything from here again!” *storms off with her unsliced bread*

Supervisor: “You didn’t buy anything from us to begin with!”

Owning The Conversation

| USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(The customer is in her early 20s.)

Customer: “Why can’t you sell me what I want?”

Me: “Because we ran out of muffins.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough. Make some more.”

Me: “We cannot do that as we’re closing in an hour. You can come in tomorrow”.

Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter. Call him.”

(The original owner is a 60 year old man who has just transferred his business to one of his daughters. He has a second daughter, Sarah, who I never met and don’t know what she looks like.)

Me: “You mean the last owner?”

Customer: “No, the current one.”

Me: “Then it’s not possible.”

Customer: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “Well, the current owner is 27 years old.”

Customer: “Oh, then I’m her sister.”

Me: “You’re Sarah?”

Customer: “Who?”

Me: “Okay, I don’t think so. You’re not related. Come back tomorrow for muffins.”

Customer: “D***. This worked at one store at least. That was a year ago..”

Me: “…”

Imagination Cake

| IL, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, sir, anything I can get for you?”

Customer: “I have a cake order to pick up!”

Me: “Okay, what is the last name on the order?”

Customer: [Last Name].

Me: “Okay I’ll be right back with your cake.”

(I bring back the cake and show the customer.)

Customer: “What’s that?! That’s not my cake?”

Me: “Oh? Okay. Is this your last name and phone number on the ticket?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s me!”

Me: “Okay, so what does the cake you ordered look like?”

Customer: “Not like that! That looks like s***!”

Me: “I’m, sorry you think that. Let’s take a look in the computer to see the cake you ordered.”

Customer: “Yeah! Let’s do that! Because this is not my cake! You don’t want my wife to come in here do you?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “There that’s my cake!” *he points at the computer screen, he points at the exact cake I just showed him*

Me: “Sir, that’s the same cake.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! You think I’m stupid?! I’m getting my wife!”

(About a minute later the wife comes in.)

Customers Wife: “Oh! It’s beautiful! This looks amazing!”

Customer: *looking puzzled* “This is our cake?”

Customer’s Wife: “Yeah, it’s what we ordered.”

Customer: “Oh… well… I imagined it differently.”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”