(I work in a bakery. We mark down items that are due off the shelf that day for quick sale, as well as anything that is damaged. A woman comes up to me carrying a loaf of our expensive cheese and garlic bread that I KNOW is fresh, because I just baked and put it out myself.)

Customer: “You need to mark this down for me!”

Me: “Hi, ma’am, nice to see you. What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “Are you blind? What kind of standards do you have? The top is all squished!”

(Note that while the rest of the loaves we bake and sell have rounded tops, the way this bread is baked, combined with the toppings and other ingredients, means it always comes out brick-shaped. It even comes with its own special label that we affix that has a photo of it on the front, showing how it’s supposed to look. She does not listen when I point this out.)

Customer: “[Company] is supposed to be all about quality… Does this look like quality to you?”

(She’s getting more and more obstinate, even jabbing a finger at my chest. Normally, I wouldn’t care enough to fight her on it, since I can issue markdowns easily, but I am not about to enable her attitude.)

Me: “It looks as it was intended to look, ma’am.”

Customer: “Don’t get smart with me. Do you want me to get your manager over a discount I know you can make?”

Me: “You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry. I see your point now. This is unacceptable.”

(She hands me the bread, looking incredibly smug… right until I crush it into a ball in front of her and nearly spike it into the trash can, still smiling politely at her.)

Me: “Obviously, we can’t offer such shoddy product to our customers. Thank you for letting me know so I could dispose of it. Have a good day!”

(While at the time it was easily one of the most satisfying moments I’ve ever had at work, in hindsight I’m amazed she didn’t go try to get me fired. Instead, she just stared at me looking startled and confused, then turned and ambled off like nothing had happened.)

(I am on my second shift at a popular bakery and am just beginning to handle customers by myself. A woman walks in with two children:)

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Customer: *ignoring me* “I’ll have three white loaves, sliced, two coffee scrolls, three Mediterranean pizzas, a croissant, a custard scroll, and six dinner rolls.”

Me: *totally overwhelmed* “How would you like the loaves sliced, ma’am? Thin or thick?”

Customer: *looking at me incuriously* “Does it look like it matters?”

(I slice them thick because most people choose this option.)

Me: “Sorry, that was three Mediterranean pizzas and a croissant?”

Customer: “Yes! And two coffee scrolls, a custard scroll, and six dinner rolls!”

Me: *after processing this huge order* “That comes to $36.50.”

Customer: “What!? That isn’t right! I came in last month and got the same for $20!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, the loaves and rolls combo promotion ended last week.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous!” *grabs bag of bread and tries to stalk out of the store*

Me: “Ma’am, you haven’t paid for that bread!”

(As she tries to leave the bakery via the sliding glass doors, she quite literally walks into the door, pretty hard, too.)

Customer: “I’M SUING FOR THIS!”

(The other customers and I were trying not to laugh. We did get sued a small amount for the door incident but it was totally worth it to see her fall over!)

(I work at a somewhat larger bakery chain in Germany, and I am alone when this happens. A lady comes to the counter and points to a plunder — pastry.)

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “That’s our nut plunder.”

Customer: *quiet for a bit* “Does it contain nuts?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, our nut plunder contains nuts.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t have it, then; I am allergic to nuts. What’s this?” *points to our gingerbread cake*

Me: “That’s our gingerbread cake with cherries, but if you are allergic to nuts I would advise you not to buy it; it may contain some, and it’s lying next to a cake with lots of nuts in it.”

Customer: “Oh, I know that one. But it doesn’t have nut pieces.”

Me: “Yes, that is true, but it still may contain some nuts; plus, it’s lying next to a nut cake.”

(At this point there are five customers waiting.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you still need some time to decide, may I help another customer?”

Customer: “No, I need that cake right now.” *silence for the next thirty seconds* “Does the nut cream cake have nuts in it?”

(At this point I am not sure if she just wants to mess with me, and the other customers are looking annoyed or amused.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, the nut cream cake contains nuts. Maybe you would like to try our cherry cake? Or maybe the poppy seed cake? Neither contains nuts, and the poppy seed cake is on sale right now…”

Customer: “No, I want to choose myself.”

(Another while of her staring at the cakes…)

Customer: “But the gingerbread cake doesn’t have nut pieces.”

(The other customers groan.)

Me: “That is true, but like I said—”

Customer: “Yes, yes, I know, the cake next to it has nuts.”

(This went on for what felt like an hour. Other customers left. I asked her to let me help her decide or help the other customers first, but she kept denying me. After a while, with the help of another customer, she finally decided to buy some poppy seed cake.)

(A customer approaches a display with a variety of breads. He stops me and points to the basket of ciabatta rolls.)

Customer: “What’s this one?”

Me: “Oh, that’s a ciabatta roll. They’re very good.”

Customer: “They’re kind of hard, aren’t they?”

Me: “Yes, ciabatta has a very hard crust and firm, airy crumb. It softens up nicely when it’s heated, though. They make great sandwiches.”

Customer: “So it’s bread?”

(I am working the day before Thanksgiving with a coworker when a woman comes in to pick up her order of rolls. I bring her the box, opening it to ensure her order is correct.)

Customer: “Why are they not wrapped up? I bet they’re already stale!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that! Give me just a minute and I’ll get those wrapped up.”

(I go in the back to wrap them up and my coworker stays in the store. When I return, they’re mid-conversation.)

Customer: “She should have known better! It’s common sense! And she didn’t have to be so rude about it, either! Ridiculous!”

(My coworker is getting visibly irritated with this woman, so I wave him off.)

Me: “Here we go! Again, I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “How hard is it to do your job? It’s not a hard job to do. Your job doesn’t even matter. Do you know what matters? MY JOB! MY TIME! I SAVE LIVES, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN GET AN ORDER RIGHT!”

(I handed her the order and walked away. The best part? I recently got glasses, and she doesn’t recognize me when she comes in anymore, so she now complains to me about the rude girl who tried to ruin her Thanksgiving.)

This story is part of our Thanksgiving 2023 roundup!

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