Imagination Cake

| IL, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, sir, anything I can get for you?”

Customer: “I have a cake order to pick up!”

Me: “Okay, what is the last name on the order?”

Customer: [Last Name].

Me: “Okay I’ll be right back with your cake.”

(I bring back the cake and show the customer.)

Customer: “What’s that?! That’s not my cake?”

Me: “Oh? Okay. Is this your last name and phone number on the ticket?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s me!”

Me: “Okay, so what does the cake you ordered look like?”

Customer: “Not like that! That looks like s***!”

Me: “I’m, sorry you think that. Let’s take a look in the computer to see the cake you ordered.”

Customer: “Yeah! Let’s do that! Because this is not my cake! You don’t want my wife to come in here do you?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “There that’s my cake!” *he points at the computer screen, he points at the exact cake I just showed him*

Me: “Sir, that’s the same cake.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! You think I’m stupid?! I’m getting my wife!”

(About a minute later the wife comes in.)

Customers Wife: “Oh! It’s beautiful! This looks amazing!”

Customer: *looking puzzled* “This is our cake?”

Customer’s Wife: “Yeah, it’s what we ordered.”

Customer: “Oh… well… I imagined it differently.”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Totally Estúpido, Part 2

, , | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I have a Hispanic name, but was born in raised in the United States; therefore, I have no accent. The phone rings and I’m the closest so I go to pick it up.)

Me: “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: *beep*

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: *beep*

Me: *I try one more time before hanging up*

Customer: “English.”

Me: *in an overly enthusiastic voice* “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Non-Hispanic Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s better. I think I got the Spanish line when I first called.”

Making A Good Call

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(For whatever reason, my home has always had more prank and scam calls than other people, so over the years I’ve gotten very good at getting the calls to stop. This happens on the first day of my first job. My trainer is on the phone and sighs heavily before hanging it up.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Trainer: “Prank callers. They’ve been calling all day. Sometimes they ask to order pastries we don’t have and sometimes they just giggle and hang up.”

Me: “Next time they call let me talk to them.”

Trainer: “You haven’t been taught to take phone calls.”

Me: “I’m good at dealing with prank callers. Trust me.”

(About twenty minutes later the phone rings. My trainer picks it up, sighs, and hands it to me. There’s giggling in the background.)

Caller: “Hey, do you have any um… [Name of product we don’t have].”

Me: “I understand you have been calling all day. I hope you understand that using a business number for anything other than business is against federal law, punishable by a $500 fine, and also against state law, punishable by a $2,000 fine. Additionally, we have caller ID, and can easily trace your call. Do you understand me?”

(The giggling in the background has stopped.)

Caller: “Um… yeah…”

Me: “Good.” *hangs up*

Trainer: “Is all of that legal stuff true?”

Me: “I have no idea, but they probably don’t either.”

Trainer: “Yeah, I think I’m gonna like working with you.”

(The prank callers did not call back.)