Throw In An Extra Humble Pie

| USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am at a bakery getting dessert for Thanksgiving. I overhear a man and a worker talking about his order.)

Man: “My wife called three weeks ago and ordered food and called today to make sure it was ready, and you people don’t have it! It’s under John and Liz! I can’t believe you god**** people!”

Worker: “I’m looking for pies under the name John and Liz but I’m not finding anything. I’m sorry but your wife must have called somewhere else.”

Man: “No! We always get dessert here and my wife didn’t call another place!”

(This goes on for what feels like hours. I decide to get some treats for myself because hearing this guy is making my head spin!)

Man: “Two pecan pies under John and Liz! Why can’t you people get it right!? My wife called TODAY and you people said it was ready!”

Worker: “Are you sure it’s not under any other name?”

Man: “I’m positive! Are you calling me a liar?!”

Worker: “Of course not, sir. I found one ready box with pecan pies and they are the only ones ready but the name isn’t John and Liz.”

Man: “Well, what’s the name then god-d***-it!?”

Worker: “Johnson.”

(The man goes white for a second while another worker is preparing my treats.)

Man: “U-uh, yes, that’s my last name.”

(He throws money on the table and runs away while the other worker gives me my food and receipt.)

Me: “Oh, it says that you didn’t put the treats on here.”

Worker #2: “It’s on the house after listening to that for 10-20 minutes!”

Yesterday, All My Combos Seemed So Far Away…

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It is my second day: An old customer comes in and rattles off a long combo order. Still getting used to the registers, I hit a wrong key, which causes the price to register without the combo discount.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Old Customer: “NO, it is NOT! It should be [different amount]. You did the same thing to me last week!”

Me: “…I just started yesterday, sir.”

Thinks Very Highly Of Your Cakes

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a cake decorator at a well known and respectable bakery. We take orders over the phone, as well as in person. One day, I received an unusual phone call. After writing down the basics of her order…)

Woman: “Can you make it a pot cake?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Woman: “Can you put the pot in it?”

Me: “You mean you want marijuana baked into your cake?”

Woman: “Yes! A lot of it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t do that.”

Woman: “Well, can you at least draw a pot leaf on the top of the cake?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am not allowed to do that, either. I can decorate it with a different picture, or write something on it if you want.”

Woman: “Okay, then write on it.”

Me: “What do you want it to say?”

Woman: “Happy Birthday, Mom.”

Wining And Whining

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(This is my third day at this job and I am still in training, out stocking the floor and familiarizing myself with the layout. Adjacent to the bakery is the wine section.)

Woman: *approaches me* “Hello, I’d like some help with choosing a wine?”

Me: “Wine?” *notices* “Oh, that. Well, unfortunately, I don’t know anything about wine.”

Woman: “What? You do work here, right?”

Me: “Well, yes, but I’ve just started and wine isn’t my section.”

Woman: “How can you not know your own store?!”

Me: “Miss, this is my third day. I haven’t even shopped here before!”

Woman: “I don’t care HOW new you are; you should learn things!” *storms off*

(I was three syllables from telling her that I have a friend who works here as well and went to culinary school, took classes in wine, and could help her out, but she left too quickly.)

That Request Just Takes The Cake

| Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(This happens right during the week of the Boston Marathon bombing and the day after the whole city and the surrounding towns were required to stay closed due to a manhunt of the bomber. There are announcements everywhere on the news the day before and cop cars telling us to stay indoors. This is what happens the day after.)

Me: *looking at a book of cake orders* “Uh oh, looks like we have a cake order today.”

(We make cake orders usually the day before and freeze it since they’re purely made out of mousse.)

Manager: “Oh, okay, let me call the customer since we were closed all day yesterday. I’m sure they’ll understand since we had a situation yesterday.”

(The manager goes away to call the customer but comes back shaking his head.)

Manager: “Wow, I can’t believe it. She was really upset.”

(A few minutes later, the customer comes in.)

Customer: “I can’t believe it! Why didn’t you call me yesterday?”

Manager: “We were closed yesterday due to the bombing…”

Customer: “Well, you should have called! I was telling my sister how your cakes are great and now we can’t get the one we ordered? How unprofessional of you! Now I’m going to have to drive to Connecticut without one and ruin their son’s birthday! ”

Manager: “You know, I’m sure YOUR sister will understand since Boston was closed down yesterday. Have a nice day!”

(We did let her choose a cake that we already had in the store afterwards… but this situation really put a damper on all of us the rest of the day in the bakery…)

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