Detective Snuffles And The Case Of The Secret Salad

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2021

My coworker today happens to be a good friend of mine, so we always have a blast when working together. I’m refilling the drinks machine when I overhear this conversation.

Customer: “Do you sell salad?”

Friend: “Yes, we do. We have four different kinds—”

Customer: “No, I don’t want salad. I hate salad. Do you sell sandwiches?”

Friend: “Yes, right here we have a lot of options for you.”

Customer: “But they have salad inside I see, so are you trying to sell me salad?”

He says it in a rather joking tone, not an angry one. I start to chuckle a bit. 

Friend: “Yes, they do have salad inside them, but only one leaf. You can either take it out or I can ask the kitchen to make you a sandwich without salad.” 

Customer: *Still jokingly* “No, I know you want to sell me salad.”

I have to go inside to get some more bottles for the machine, and when I get back outside, the customer is still there. The conversation has obviously been going on for the past several minutes. I proceed to refill the machine, not really listening to the conversation anymore, when I suddenly hear: 

Customer: “You know, I know you’re trying to sell me salad because I’m a secret detective! I’m detective Snuffles!”

I completely lose it and start laughing, trying not to make any noise. Since I’m still behind the customer, he doesn’t see me, but my friend does and has to keep herself together while still talking to the man. 

Friend: “But if you are a secret detective, maybe you shouldn’t tell me that?”

Customer: “Well, I wanted you to know.”

He then walked away happily without buying anything and my friend burst into laughter with me. To this day, I’m still very impressed by how she held herself together during the conversation. I couldn’t have done it. Detective Snuffles really made our day!

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The Cake Is A Lie, Part 9

, , , | Right | May 31, 2021

Some idiot takes a display cake from our bakery. Display cakes are typically made from royal icing and it dries hard. It’s like the type of icing that’s used on hard cookies. The “cake” itself is made from Styrofoam. They look just like the real thing and will last for several months if you prep them properly and keep them dry.

It’s clearly marked as an inedible display and not for sale, and it sits under a heavy cake dome. It’s placed in such a way that you have to climb into the refrigerated display section to even reach it.

The front end calls back to the bakery to get a price for it since it doesn’t have a plastic cover with the barcode on it. The girl doesn’t notice one of the displays is missing, and the labels can be difficult for the barcode reader to pick up sometimes, so she doesn’t think anything of it.

Of course, a few hours later, we get an angry phone call from the idiot when they try to cut the cake for a little girl’s birthday party.

Woman: “You ruined my daughter’s birthday party! I demand a free cake!”

Manager: “There is no way you are getting a free cake when you took a clearly marked and labeled display cake.”

Woman: “One of your bakery associates gave me that cake!”

But, of course, she couldn’t describe them or remember their name. We took a look at the security footage and saw the woman climb into the refrigerated case. She looked around to see if anyone was watching while she did it, too. The bakery manager told her she was banned from the store.

The Cake Is A Lie, Part 8
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 7
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 6
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 5
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4

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Pulled That Cake Out Of The Oven Way Too Early

, , , , | Working | May 7, 2021

I work as a decorator at a bakery. It isn’t a chain place but it turns out to be a great place to exercise my decorating skills. Eventually, I plan to go back to school for more advanced decorating classes. I have been helping my boss interview for my replacement.

The candidates are two ladies around twenty-five and an older woman. The two younger ladies are lovely and make a really good impression, while the older lady acts really arrogant. At the end of the interview, she seems to be convinced that she has already gotten the job. My boss, sensing the same vibes, makes it very clear that no decisions will be made right away.

A few days later, before the boss man has made a decision about who to hire, the older woman calls back. She manages to speak to one of my coworkers, who was not part of the interview process. 

Coworker: “Hello?”

Older Woman: “Hi! I’m phoning to talk to your boss. He hired me a few days ago and I want to know when he wants me to come in.”

Coworker: *Oblivious* “Well, he’s not here right now. I’ll take a message so he can call you back.”

Older Woman: “Okay!”

[Boss] comes in, gets the message, and tells [Coworker] that he hasn’t hired anyone yet. [Older Woman] phones back before [Boss] gets a chance to call her.

Boss: “I’m sorry for the confusion, but you have only been in for an interview—”

Older Woman: *Interrupting* “Oh, no, I’m not confused at all. You hired me. Just tell me my starting date.”

Boss: “There is no starting date yet. I haven’t decided to hire anyone yet.”

Older Woman: “Don’t you remember me? I was here with my fiancée and you hired me.”

Boss: “Um, no, I didn’t.”

Older Woman: “Yes, you did. You shook my hand and told me that you would call me with my starting date, but you seem to have forgotten. Just tell me when to come in on my first day of work.”

Boss: “Ma’am, no one has been hired yet. Not you and not any of the other candidates. You’ve only had an interview. You still have to demonstrate your decorating abilities before you can even be considered for hiring.”

[Older Woman] gets very irate and hangs up. The boss puts NAGF (Not A Good Fit) in red ink on the woman’s resume and puts it away.

Later in the day, the woman’s fiancé calls. He’s basically screaming with rage, and it takes [Boss] a bit to get the guy calmed down enough to even understand who the heck he is and why he’s so peeved.

Fiancé: “You know you can’t do that, right?! You know it’s bad business practice to tell someone they’re hired and then not hire them!”

Boss: “No one has been hired. Your fiancé hasn’t gotten far enough in the hiring process to join the team yet.”

Fiancé: “Oh, I get it! You’re discriminating against her! You know it’s illegal to refuse to hire someone based on age! Let me lay it out for you: either you hold up your end of the bargain and tell my fiancé what her starting date is or we’re going straight to the labor board to report you!”

Boss: *Coldly* “You go ahead and try that.”

He hung up on the fiancé. Nothing came of their threats, and in the end, we hired both of the younger ladies, who passed the decorating tests with flying colors. I went back to school feeling glad that we had made the right choices for the bakery.

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An Unhealthy Usage Of A Debit Card

, , , | Right | April 29, 2021

I’m in my local grocery store, using their rewards card machine. A woman at the bakery counter nearby wants to pay with a debit card via NFC (contactless payment). The debit machine keeps making an error sound.

Customer: “Why is it not working?”

Employee: “I’m not sure. Let’s just try it again.”

The employee cancels the payment and starts again. The customer holds her card close to the machine again, and again she gets an error sound.

Customer: “What’s going on? I always pay like this and never had a problem before.”

Employee: “It’s been working fine all day. I don’t know what’s wrong. Let’s try one more time.” *Glances at the growing line at the counter*

They try again, and it still does not work. The customer is getting frustrated.

Customer: “This can’t be. There’s money on my account. I always pay like this. It must be your stupid machine. Why doesn’t it work?!”

I look over and notice something.

Me: “Because that’s not a debit card.”

The customer looks at the card in her hand, which turns out to be her healthcare ID.

Customer: “Huh? Oh. OH! Sorry.”

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Assistant Manager, Manage!

, , , , , | Working | March 23, 2021

During college, I work part-time in a bakery within a grocery store as a bakery clerk. My job is to pack and label all of the food, clean, and serve customers. When I initially start working there, my coworkers and manager are great. I am good friends with our union representative. We all get along and the bakery runs smoothly. It isn’t my chosen field, but I make a few friends with the other clerks and get to eat any food that is unsellable.

Shortly after my two-year mark, a new assistant manager comes to our department for training. She is a little older than me and overall seems like a really sweet woman. We are told by our manager that she will be, essentially, an “acting manager” to learn to run her own department. He will be supervising her actions but allowing her to take the reins. If there are any issues, we are told to come to him.

During this initial period, I am promoted to Assistant Cake Decorator and will be undergoing training to become a full-fledged Cake Decorator eventually.

It takes two months for the assistant manager to completely piss off the entire department in a few different ways.

She changes the schedule on a whim. I will take photos of the schedule when posted and come in at 7:00 am, only for her to yell at me and say I am scheduled for 8:00 am. It’ll turn out that she changed it THAT morning. She does this to me and everyone else.

She consistently jumps in to “help” different areas and leaves a mess afterward that she doesn’t bother to clean up, such as leaving the baking desk full of flour, spices, or unproved dough. She helps “decorate” cakes and then leaves the frosting open and her counter covered in it, and leaves any cakes not done out; procedure is to put them in the freezer. We have to throw those cakes out because no one knows when she just leaves them.

Any time someone brings up procedure or asks her questions, she asserts that she is the manager and that this is the way to go, even if it is completely different from the store’s procedures and things that coworkers with over thirty years of experience have been doing properly.

She often disappears with my manager, especially when it is busy or we have deliveries. I have to refuse them because I can’t sign for them; we then get yelled at for not having enough stock.

My manager does nothing to rectify the situation, and if we go to him with the issues, we are told he’ll fix it. He never does.

During my time as a cake decorating assistant, I meet another girl — [Coworker] — who is actually going to culinary school to be a cake decorator. She is younger than me and this is her first job, so she doesn’t quite know how things work. She often comes to me for advice.

One particular day, she comes into our area almost in tears. I ask her what’s going on.

Coworker: “I’m heading off to school in two weeks, so I put in my two-week notice to [Assistant Manager], and she told me that they wouldn’t accept it because this week would count as week zero, and then I’d have to work two weeks after that. I’ll be back at school that third week.”

She starts crying, saying that she’ll have to quit, and she doesn’t want to do that for her first experience, especially since it is the only place she can use as a reference.

On top of that, we work for a union. If she leaves on bad terms — i.e. quitting — she will never be able to work for another grocery store bakery. She is devastated.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard of two weeks’ notice working that way.

I offer a hug, she takes it, and I tell her that’s some big cow poop. Since I’ve worked there long enough, I know the store manager fairly well. I check to make sure [Assistant Manager] isn’t around, and I pull [Coworker] to [Store Manager]’s office.

Me: “I’m only here to support [Coworker], but this is an issue you should know about.”

I encourage [Coworker] to tell her story. Through tears, she tells him everything that [Assistant Manager] said, and I can see his face darken rather quickly. He assures us it will be taken care of and thanks us for our time.

A few days pass before I see [Coworker] again, but when I do, she pulls me into a big hug. She happily tells me that they accepted her two-week notice and everything is good; she’ll be able to leave and come back if she ever wants to work for them again.

Over the next few months, half of the staff quit, and one of them gets injured due to [Assistant Manager]’s careless planning. I don’t remember exactly why they move [Assistant Manager], but they do and it is a glorious day.

So much so, I end up speaking with our Union Representative about it. I update him on all the things going on and tell him about my promotion. He doesn’t like the scheduling changing, but he raises an eyebrow when I mention my promotion and pulls out his tablet.

Union Representative: “You’re not listed in our database as an Apprentice Cake Decorator.”

Me: “What do you mean? I was offered the position months ago, and I’ve been training since then.”

Union Representative: “You said you were promoted when [Assistant Manager] was here?”

Me: “Yes.”

Union Representative: “Let me do some digging.”

Later that day, my manager and [Union Representative] came to me privately while I was cleaning and explained that [Assistant Manager] had never submitted any paperwork toward my promotion, so I never got the appropriate raise. To the company, my promotion never existed, and now the company owed me backpay. The “training” I received as an Apprentice Cake Decorator wasn’t official at all; the last six or so months didn’t count toward any kind of apprentice program.

Turns out, [Assistant Manager] did no paperwork for the department at all. Everything was in shambles and [Union Representative] was furious. They eventually offered for me to go into the program officially, but I told them that by that point I was already seeking employment elsewhere. I ended up leaving about a month later for a job in my career field. 

It took them six more months to pay me my backpay, and when I went back to the bakery after that time, the entire staff had been replaced.

Manager, Manage! Part 5
Manager, Manage! Part 4
Manager, Manage! Part 3
Manager, Manage! Part 2
Manager, Manage!

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