Keeps Putting Her Finger On The Problem

| England, UK | Right | April 20, 2017

(A woman comes into my bakery and wanders around. I ask her if she would like any help, but she politely refuses. I turn to take something out of the oven when I hear rustling. I turn my head briefly and catch her opening a seal pack of assorted muffins. She sticks her fingers in each one before putting them back and moving onto another.)

Me: “Excuse me. Could you please not do that? I do have to sell those.”

Customer: “How else will I know if I like them?”

Me: “You could ask for a sample.”

(She rolls her eyes as though it is a ridiculous suggestion and continues with her “tasting.” I run around the counter and grab them, along with those she put back.)

Me: “That will be [amount], please.”

Customer: “But, I don’t want them. I don’t like them.”

Me: “That doesn’t matter. How am I meant to sell these after your fingers and spit have been all over them?”

Customer: *offended* “Are you saying I look like I have a disease?!”

Me: “Would you buy a muffin knowing someone else has picked at it?”

Customer: “Well, no. That’s disgusting!”

Me: “Well there you are. [Amount], please.”

(She huffed and stormed out without paying.)

Sounds Like They’re Already Baked

| TX, USA | Friendly | April 7, 2017

(My BFF and I run a small bakery. We are very sarcastic with each other and our employees.)

BFF: *texting* “Not coming in today.”

Me: “Really? You are only four hours late. I didn’t even miss you.”

BFF: “Slow?”

Me: “Turtle, slug, slime creeping. What is slower?”

BFF: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Watching Deadwood, cleaning office, surfing porn (not really).”

BFF: “Go home. The girls can handle the front.”

Me: “NO! Then I would have to watch TMNT, clean the kitchen, and surf Pinterest; work is way better!”

It Pays To Be Married

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Working | April 6, 2017

(It’s Wednesday and we just got paid Friday. A coworker and I are talking about what we did on our days off.)

Coworker: “I spent $118 in one day!”

Me: “Woah, on what?”

Coworker: “I took my daughters out to eat and then we did some shopping and then to the movies. I have about $40 left.”

Me: “That was money well spent! You spent some time with your daughters so it wasn’t a waste.”

Coworker: “Yeah, you’re right. Besides, it’s almost Friday.”

Me: “We don’t get paid this Friday. We already got paid last Friday.”

Coworker: “Yeah, we don’t, but my husband does!”

Made A Blood Enemy That Day

| Margate, Kent, UK | Right | March 31, 2017

(My job mainly involves emptying sanitary bins in ladies toilets. I’m about to service a bakery when I see a couple get out of a car and go inside.)

Man: *with thick Spanish accent* “One loaf of [bread].”

Baker: “Okay, that will be a few minutes. There’s just some in the oven.”

Me: “Hi, just here to do the bins.”

Baker: “Okay, go through.”

(As I go through I hear the man speak again.)

Man: *in Spanish* “What a loser to do a job like that.”

(Once I’m done, I went back out to my van. The couple had gone but their car was still there. I went back inside and asked to borrow some red food colouring. They let me take a very small bottle and I went back to my van, grabbed a tampon that I use to stock machines with, dipped the end in the food colouring, and then left it on the window of his car. When I next went to the bakery they told me they got a giggle out of his reaction.)

Too Lazy To Come Up With A Reason

| | Working | March 27, 2017

(It’s close to the end of my shift and a coworker and I are cleaning one of the bread making machines. I’m off tomorrow and looking forward to it. We are allowed to trade days off of switch shifts on occasion with manager approval.)

Coworker: “What days are you off?”

Me: “Tomorrow and Wednesday. Why?”

Coworker: “What time do you come in Thursday?”

Me: “12. What’s up?”

Coworker: “I’m off Wednesday and Thursday. Do you want to trade Tuesday to be off Thursday?”

Me: *thinking about it*

(I don’t really want to but if something important came up and she needed the day off then I was willing to do it.)

Me: “I guess…”

Coworker: “If you don’t want to then it’s fine. I just wanted tomorrow off. I feel like being lazy.”

Me: “So you’re asking me to delay my weekend just because you want to start yours early?”

Coworker: “Pretty much.”

Me: “In that case, no. If it was something important, I would have said yes.”

(At least she was honest!)

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