Half Off For 90% Is A Sweet Deal

, , , , | Right | September 19, 2019

Me: “Hey, is there something I can do for you?”

Customer: “Well, I’m not sure yet. I like the looks of this chocolate here, but I’m not sure I’d like it.”

(As it so happens, we are allowed to give samples of most of our products. I cut her a small piece, probably not even a tenth of the item, and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s really good. Thank you! I’ll take one.”

Me: “Great! Is this one okay?” *points to the one she sampled*

Customer: *instantly offended* “Excuse me?! No, that’s not happening. If you gave me half off, maybe, but there’s no way I’m paying full price for that one now!”

Me: *sighing internally* “No problem, let me just box up a different one for you.”

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Must Have Been Really Important Bagels

, , , | Right | September 6, 2019

(I’ve just quit my job as a waitress at [Pancake Restaurant] where I worked for more than five years, and have taken a new job at a New York-originated [Bagel Store]. This is the first holiday I’ve worked for them, Mother’s Day, and by 11:00 am we’ve completely run out of bagels, and the singular oven we have isn’t known for its speed. Between offering any pre-made items left, like fruit cups, I’ve also been put in charge of informing the line that any new bagels will take a minimum of 45 minutes. Some buy pre-made things and others leave, but generally, everyone has been understanding or just accepting… except for one gentleman.)

Customer: *stands behind the leaving crowd as he eyes all our empty bagel trays* “Are you kidding me right now?!” *waves arms in the air and almost knocks two people in the face* “How could a bagel store be out of bagels?!”

Me: “I apologize, sir; it seems that even the company hasn’t anticipated the volume of people that would come in today! Can I offer you another item, like a pastry or maybe a muffin? Since we know it’s an inconvenience, if you’d like to wait, we don’t mind giving out a small coffee, as well — no charge!”

Customer: “I just don’t understand!” *gets louder as I have to explain to new customers that we’re practically out* “I thought I walked into [Bagel Store]! How do you not have anything?!

Me: “I guess instead of [Bagel Store] we’ll be [Store’s name but with pastries instead of bagels]!” *a few customers nearby chuckle at my remark so I laugh lightly with them*

Customer: “I could go to [Supermarket] and get a bag of bagels and know I’ll be getting them!”

Coworker: *a sandwich maker who’s been helping teach me* “I wouldn’t be surprised, sir; they make theirs by quantity and we’re quality! You’re more than welcome to bring us those bagels and we can make you something with those, instead!”

Customer: *begins to storm towards the door, then suddenly spins around to yell more as he blocks several people from coming in and out* “I’m insulted and I’m calling the [Health Department for our city] on you!” *leaves while talking loudly to himself*

Coworker: “Okay, bro!”

Me: *laughs at coworker* “I don’t remember the health department coming when [Pancake Restaurant] ran out of crepes.”

Coworker: *rolls his eyes jokingly* “Quick, let’s call them on ourselves so we don’t have to make more bagels!”

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The Restorative Powers Of Good Parenting (And Cake!)

, , , , , , , | Hopeless | September 6, 2019

I was heading in to work one day and saw a man with his children. The man was, shall we say, a beefcake. Super muscular, short-cropped hair, tattoos — a dudebro as I like to call them. His son in the cart was crying about something, and instead of consoling him or helping, he just shouted a barrage of, “YOU KEEP UP THAT CRYING AND I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT,” over and over finishing with, “DRY IT UP. DRY IT.”

Disgusted, I headed into the store and heard other customers making fun of him. I wish I could’ve said something, but as I was in uniform, I couldn’t start a conflict with a customer.

I headed over to the bakery and started to get my tasks together. Another man and his son were looking at the full-service cake case, trying to decide on a birthday cake for the son. The dad asked, “All right, bud, which one do you want?” The little boy excitedly said, “The unicorn!” I cringed, expecting the worst from the dad. The cake had a swirl of pink and purple hair with blue and white roses. Unfortunately, in cake decorating, the terms “boy cakes” and “girl cakes” get thrown around a lot. The dad said, “Okay, buddy! Ma’am, can we get the unicorn?”

Some people are garbage, but at least there some who restore my faith in humanity to balance it all out, unicorn cake in hand.

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The Cake Order Is A Lie

, , , , | Working | September 2, 2019

(I am a baker, so while I do not deal with difficult customers, I get to hear all the stories. The latest incident is a customer who wanted a custom cake for Monday but when she called on Thursday, she was informed she needed to order by Friday. She calls on Saturday, about an hour before the store closes, a few hours after the decorator has left, outraged that she can’t get her cake. A few days later, my brother has asked me to buy something for him, so I call the store late in the day to place an order.)

Assistant Manager: “Thank you for calling [Bakery]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Me: *in a higher pitch than normal* “Hi. I’d like to place an order for a cake.”

Assistant Manager: “When would you like it for?”

Me: “Tonight.”

Assistant Manager: “So, you want a cake from the case or…”

Me: “Actually, I want a three-tier [custom cake that we don’t make].”

Assistant Manager: *laughing* “Oh, I know who this is now.”

Me: *laughing* “I tried to be as ridiculous as possible, but I didn’t know how long I’d last without breaking. But in all seriousness, can I order [item]?” 

Assistant Manager: “No!”

Me: “Fine! I’ll make it myself!”

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Unfiltered Story #160196

, , , | Unfiltered | August 22, 2019

Please note that I am the only manager currently woeking, every one else has gone home for the night.

Customer: *approaches with sandwich in hand* does this look right to you?

Me: I’m not sure, did you order the roasted veggie egg?

Customer: Yes, but does this *gestures to sandwich now on the counter* look right to you?

Me: Well, honestly, it looks like you got double the egg, but yes,it appears to be made correctly.

Customer: But the bread is so small.

Me: Yes, it looks that way because of the extra egg.

Customer: No. This is wrong.

He walked off in a huff and was out the door before I could even offer him something else. However, he did complain to management and I got written up because “it was completely wrong.”