Not Bready For The Holidays

| NC, USA | Holidays

(I work the morning shift in a bakery on Christmas Eve of 2014. I am pretty new, and it is overwhelming. There are hundreds of pre-orders, and most of the regular sale breads are gone within an hour. I’ve had to turn away several people who wanted Christmas breads at this point.)

Customer: “I’d like a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re sold out.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I mean we’ve sold all of the cinnamon raisin bread. I could recommend—”

Customer: “Well, it’s Christmas Eve. You should have baked more!”

Me: “Ma’am, all of our bakers were up all night baking extras–”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I can see a loaf right there!”

Me: “Ma’am, that is a pre-ordered loaf. Some people have ordered weeks in advance and–”

Customer: “But I’m here now!”

Me: “But that bread was ordered by another person. Ma’am, I can recommend a different–”

Customer: “FORGET IT! YOU RUINED MY CHRISTMAS!”

(The customer storms away, and I’m left blinking in shock. The next customer is a kind elderly lady with a pre-order that happens to include cinnamon raisin bread. A few minutes later, the original customer has apparently gotten back in line and has reached my register.)

Customer: “Hey, why did that woman get bread!”

Me: “Ma’am, she pre-ordered last week–”

Customer: “But I was here first!”

Me: *heavy sigh*

(This went on for a minute or two until she declared I’d ruined her Christmas once more and stormed out for good.)

Not Bready For The Holidays

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Holidays

(We’re a small bread store that bakes everything fresh daily. We don’t have anything frozen or hidden in the back to sell, though some customers don’t seem to understand this. It is Christmas Eve and we have been slammed with customers. Even though we close at three, we’ve sold out of pretty much everything by noon. It is 2:30 and my dad and I are cleaning up and getting ready to close up shop. At this point, we’re just waiting on a couple of orders and we’ve put a ‘sold out’ sign in the window. Despite the sign, some people have wandered in and asked if we’re really sold out of bread, but are polite and understanding when we tell them we’ve got only a couple cookies left. I’m cleaning up some of the unending flour mess when this couple walks in:)

Dad: “Hello! As you can see, we’re pretty much sold out.”

Lady: “What’s that there?” *points at the rack where we’ve got the remaining orders*

Dad: “Those are orders we’re holding.”

Lady: “I’ll buy that loaf there.”

Dad: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that bread belongs to someone who placed an order earlier. All we’ve got are these cookies and this roll.”

Lady: “But I’m here and I have money.”

Dad: *trying not to lose his cool and yell at her* “Ma’am, that loaf is already sold.”

Lady: “You’re really out of bread?”

Dad: “Yes. Sorry about that. Have a Merry Christmas!”

(The couple leaves. Just as the door closes and they walk down the street.)

Dad: “You’d be really mad if that order was yours and I sold it!”

Can’t Do Anything To Sweeten This Up

, | AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Time

(I work as the cake decorator in the bakery of a well known supermarket. This incident happens on a Tuesday — not one of our busy days — and I’m just working on making back-up cakes for the freezer. A lady comes up and says she has a question.)

Customer: “Can I order a cake and have it done today?”

Me: “It depends on the cake, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I want this one.” *points to a two-tier detailed cake in the book*

Me: “Okay, not a problem. When would you like it by?”

Customer: “Noon.” *note, it’s currently 11:30 in the morning*

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t have it done that soon, but I can do it by 12:30 at the earliest.”

Customer: “Really? Why can’t you have it done by noon? I NEED it by noon!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, ma’am. It takes a little time for a cake like that but I’d you’d like I can have it done by—”

Customer: “Jesus Christ! What good are you? Fine! I’ll just get a different one.”

(She proceeded to order a smaller much simpler cake, that could have been done in the half hour she gave me, to be picked up by four…)

Creating A Sore Spot

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior

(I work at a bakery located within a small shopping center. I have just finished cleaning the outside glass of the cabinets where all of the sweet and savoury food is kept during the day.)

Customer: *comes up behind me, licks his finger, and wipes it on the glass*

Customer: “You missed a spot.” *walks off*

Me: *too stunned to speak*

The Worst Cookies In London

| Nashville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays

(It’s the Sunday before Halloween. As our store hours are shorter on Sundays, the store owners have allowed all the employees to dress up in costume and play PG movies on the television in the dining area. My best friend and I are dressed up as Sarah Williams and Jareth the Goblin King from the 1986 film Labyrinth. About twenty minutes into the film, I’m approached by a customer and her friend. She glances at the movie, sizes up my Jareth costume, and immediately breaks out into song:)

Customer: “You remind me of the babe!”

Me: *elated* “What babe?”

Customer: “The babe with the power!”

Me: “What power?”

Customer: “The power of Voodoo!”

Me: “Who do?”

Customer: “You do!”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “Remind me of the babe!”

Me: *laughing* “That just made my day! You’re definitely my favorite customer! Would you like a free cookie?”

Customer: *still smiling* “Chocolate chip, please!”

Customer’s Friend: “I don’t get it…”

Coworker: “It’s from the movie we have playing.” *she gestures at the TV*

Customer’s Friend: *pointing at our coworker in the back, who works in production* “Is she from the movie, too…?”

Me: “No, she’s dressed up as Mrs. Lovette from ‘Sweeney Todd’.”

Customer: *chuckles* “I hope she didn’t bake my cookie…”

Customer’s Friend: *still confused* “Who…?”

Me: “She… bakes people into pies.”

Customer’s Friend: *horrified* “And you’re letting her work in the BACK?!”

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