I’m Guessing He’s Not A Breadwinner

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | February 6, 2016

Customer: “What’s that white stuff on top of your bread?”

Me: “Oh, that’s flour.”

Customer: “Is that edible?”

Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean

| San Jose, CA, USA | Working | January 19, 2016

(My older sister is gluten-intolerant, meaning that her intestines get very unhappy when she eats anything with wheat. My uncle, on his way to our home for dinner, decides to pick up a dessert for her to eat.)

Uncle: “Do you have anything that’s gluten-free?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t have any free items.”

Uncle: “No, GLUTEN-free. No wheat.”

Employee: “Sir, we don’t serve any free items.”

Uncle: “Gluten-free. You know, no wheat.”

Employee: “Sir, I told you, we don’t have anything for free.”

(This went on until he gave up. My sister didn’t get dessert that evening.)

A Barrel Of Laughs

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Working | November 30, 2015

(I work in a commercial bakery as a pie filler. I’m at the bottom of a large barrel of pumpkin pie filling and I have to tip over the barrel to reach the filling that’s left. I’ve been chatting with the woman next to me.)

Me: “If I fall in, you have my permission to laugh first and then pull me out.”

Coworker #1: *laughing* “Okay.”

(A few minutes later she goes on her break and is replaced by another woman.)

Me: “I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told the other lady. If I fall in, you have my permission to laugh first and then pull me out.”

Coworker #2: “Nah, I’ll just go to lunch and see if you’re still there when I get back.”

Yesterday, All My Combos Seemed So Far Away…

| ME, USA | Right | November 25, 2015

(It is my second day: An old customer comes in and rattles off a long combo order. Still getting used to the registers, I hit a wrong key, which causes the price to register without the combo discount.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Old Customer: “NO, it is NOT! It should be [different amount]. You did the same thing to me last week!”

Me: “…I just started yesterday, sir.”

Throw In An Extra Humble Pie

| USA | Right | November 25, 2015

(I am at a bakery getting dessert for Thanksgiving. I overhear a man and a worker talking about his order.)

Man: “My wife called three weeks ago and ordered food and called today to make sure it was ready, and you people don’t have it! It’s under John and Liz! I can’t believe you god**** people!”

Worker: “I’m looking for pies under the name John and Liz but I’m not finding anything. I’m sorry but your wife must have called somewhere else.”

Man: “No! We always get dessert here and my wife didn’t call another place!”

(This goes on for what feels like hours. I decide to get some treats for myself because hearing this guy is making my head spin!)

Man: “Two pecan pies under John and Liz! Why can’t you people get it right!? My wife called TODAY and you people said it was ready!”

Worker: “Are you sure it’s not under any other name?”

Man: “I’m positive! Are you calling me a liar?!”

Worker: “Of course not, sir. I found one ready box with pecan pies and they are the only ones ready but the name isn’t John and Liz.”

Man: “Well, what’s the name then god-d***-it!?”

Worker: “Johnson.”

(The man goes white for a second while another worker is preparing my treats.)

Man: “U-uh, yes, that’s my last name.”

(He throws money on the table and runs away while the other worker gives me my food and receipt.)

Me: “Oh, it says that you didn’t put the treats on here.”

Worker #2: “It’s on the house after listening to that for 10-20 minutes!”

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