Even The Most Supportive Cakes Need Time To Bake

| UK | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am presenting a custom order cake to a mother for her son’s birthday.)

Mother: “Could I have it in pink?”

Me: “Did you order it in pink?”

Mother: “No, but it needs to be pink now.”

Me: “It would have to be remade, and you would still be charged for this one, as it has been completed to your specification.”

Mother: “Oh, but you don’t understand! My son just came out as a woman!”

Me: “That still doesn’t change the fact that you ordered this cake and have now changed your mind after it has been made.”

Mother: “Oh, but, couldn’t you show me some kindness? I’m trying to be supportive.

Me: “Okay, I’ll give you a large discount on this one, but you will still need to pay full price for the pink cake.”

Mother: “Oh, thank you.”

Me: “What time will you need the cake for?”

Mother: “Oh, literally now! I’m just heading over.

Me: “…”

(I eventually convinced her to get a generic “It’s A Girl” cake after wising her up to the fact that I can’t just magically pull a fully made cake out of my a**. Her daughter came into the bakery a week later to thank me. She found the cake hilarious.)

Keeps Putting Her Finger On The Problem

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A woman comes into my bakery and wanders around. I ask her if she would like any help, but she politely refuses. I turn to take something out of the oven when I hear rustling. I turn my head briefly and catch her opening a seal pack of assorted muffins. She sticks her fingers in each one before putting them back and moving onto another.)

Me: “Excuse me. Could you please not do that? I do have to sell those.”

Customer: “How else will I know if I like them?”

Me: “You could ask for a sample.”

(She rolls her eyes as though it is a ridiculous suggestion and continues with her “tasting.” I run around the counter and grab them, along with those she put back.)

Me: “That will be [amount], please.”

Customer: “But, I don’t want them. I don’t like them.”

Me: “That doesn’t matter. How am I meant to sell these after your fingers and spit have been all over them?”

Customer: *offended* “Are you saying I look like I have a disease?!”

Me: “Would you buy a muffin knowing someone else has picked at it?”

Customer: “Well, no. That’s disgusting!”

Me: “Well there you are. [Amount], please.”

(She huffed and stormed out without paying.)

Made A Blood Enemy That Day

| Margate, Kent, UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Prank

(My job mainly involves emptying sanitary bins in ladies toilets. I’m about to service a bakery when I see a couple get out of a car and go inside.)

Man: *with thick Spanish accent* “One loaf of [bread].”

Baker: “Okay, that will be a few minutes. There’s just some in the oven.”

Me: “Hi, just here to do the bins.”

Baker: “Okay, go through.”

(As I go through I hear the man speak again.)

Man: *in Spanish* “What a loser to do a job like that.”

(Once I’m done, I went back out to my van. The couple had gone but their car was still there. I went back inside and asked to borrow some red food colouring. They let me take a very small bottle and I went back to my van, grabbed a tampon that I use to stock machines with, dipped the end in the food colouring, and then left it on the window of his car. When I next went to the bakery they told me they got a giggle out of his reaction.)

This Should Have Been A Piece Of Cake

| England, UK | Food & Drink

(We are offering a cake tasting service for a couple arranging their wedding. They are given a selection to suit the style of their wedding and asked for feedback. The session has been going well, with the bride-to-be enjoying practically every cake offered to her. She has a review form we use to assist in the decision making. We have neared the end and she is getting ready to leave.)

Bride: “Thank you ever so much. That was delicious!”

Me: “We aim to please. Have you decided on a cake or would you like some time?”

Bride: *handing me the review form* “No, just use whichever I ranked top.”

Me: “Certainly. There will also be a second tasting…” *reads the form* “Umm, miss?”

Bride: “Oh, that will be lovely. I’m sure my husband will love it.”

Me: “Umm, miss. I think there has been some—”

Bride: “Thank you for the help. Goodbye!” *leaves*

Colleague: *sneaking in* “So… which did she pick?” *I hand over the form* “Oh, well, that’s not very helpful. She’s marked 10 for all of them!”

(We ended up having to call the groom in after the bride found it too difficult to decide. She started crying and begged the groom to “just to pick one,” and then got angry at him for picking the “wrong” one. The last I heard the wedding was still on, but had been pushed back another year. Some brides can get a bit overwhelmed by it all. Let’s just hope she manages to straighten everything out!)

There Is Dough Reason To Stop

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I own a bakery. In the front, but to the side, is an area for me to mix the dough, which has a glass partition just in front of it so people can watch the process. Many people are fascinated by it and will often ask me questions while I work. My associate is waiting on customers and there’s only a couple of people in line. Customer comes up to glass:)

Customer: “You need to stop playing and come wait on me.”

Me: “First, I’m not ‘playing’; I’m making dough. And second, actually, no, I don’t.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. You’re just being lazy!”

Me: “Lazy? Seriously? Lady, I’m up to my elbows in dough! Now you have two choices; you can either get your happy butt back in line or you can leave.”


Me: “She’s my manager.” *nods towards my associate*

Customer: *to my associate* “I WANT HER FIRED RIGHT NOW!”

Associate: “I can’t fire her.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?”

Associate: “Because she’s the owner!”

(The customer got red faced, and looked at me. I gave her a little finger wave. She sputtered and stormed out. I hate people who feel they’re entitled.)

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