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Can’t Do Anything To Sweeten This Up

, | AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Time

(I work as the cake decorator in the bakery of a well known supermarket. This incident happens on a Tuesday — not one of our busy days — and I’m just working on making back-up cakes for the freezer. A lady comes up and says she has a question.)

Customer: “Can I order a cake and have it done today?”

Me: “It depends on the cake, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I want this one.” *points to a two-tier detailed cake in the book*

Me: “Okay, not a problem. When would you like it by?”

Customer: “Noon.” *note, it’s currently 11:30 in the morning*

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t have it done that soon, but I can do it by 12:30 at the earliest.”

Customer: “Really? Why can’t you have it done by noon? I NEED it by noon!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, ma’am. It takes a little time for a cake like that but I’d you’d like I can have it done by—”

Customer: “Jesus Christ! What good are you? Fine! I’ll just get a different one.”

(She proceeded to order a smaller much simpler cake, that could have been done in the half hour she gave me, to be picked up by four…)

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Creating A Sore Spot

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior

(I work at a bakery located within a small shopping center. I have just finished cleaning the outside glass of the cabinets where all of the sweet and savoury food is kept during the day.)

Customer: *comes up behind me, licks his finger, and wipes it on the glass*

Customer: “You missed a spot.” *walks off*

Me: *too stunned to speak*

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The Worst Cookies In London

| Nashville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays

(It’s the Sunday before Halloween. As our store hours are shorter on Sundays, the store owners have allowed all the employees to dress up in costume and play PG movies on the television in the dining area. My best friend and I are dressed up as Sarah Williams and Jareth the Goblin King from the 1986 film Labyrinth. About twenty minutes into the film, I’m approached by a customer and her friend. She glances at the movie, sizes up my Jareth costume, and immediately breaks out into song:)

Customer: “You remind me of the babe!”

Me: *elated* “What babe?”

Customer: “The babe with the power!”

Me: “What power?”

Customer: “The power of Voodoo!”

Me: “Who do?”

Customer: “You do!”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “Remind me of the babe!”

Me: *laughing* “That just made my day! You’re definitely my favorite customer! Would you like a free cookie?”

Customer: *still smiling* “Chocolate chip, please!”

Customer’s Friend: “I don’t get it…”

Coworker: “It’s from the movie we have playing.” *she gestures at the TV*

Customer’s Friend: *pointing at our coworker in the back, who works in production* “Is she from the movie, too…?”

Me: “No, she’s dressed up as Mrs. Lovette from ‘Sweeney Todd’.”

Customer: *chuckles* “I hope she didn’t bake my cookie…”

Customer’s Friend: *still confused* “Who…?”

Me: “She… bakes people into pies.”

Customer’s Friend: *horrified* “And you’re letting her work in the BACK?!”

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A Soup Recoup

| NY, USA | Food & Drink

(We used to serve 12 and 16 ounce soups. We switched over to just 16 ounce soups. Due to a mix up with inventory we had two different bowls, both exactly 16 ounces. One happened to be wide and short and the other narrow and tall.)

Customer: “May I have a 12 ounce soup, please.”

Me: “We now only have 16 ounce soups, is that okay?”

Customer: “Sure.”

(I go ahead and grab a bowl that Is closest to me, fill it up, and bring it over to the tray for the lady.)

Customer: “Can I have the other bowl? It holds more soup.”

Me: “Both our bowls are exactly 16 ounces; the other bowl is just shaped differently.”

Customer: “No, I always have leftover from the other bowl because it’s bigger. This one is smaller and I get less soup.”

(I go over and fill the other bowl with tap water to the top and pour it into the bowl I used for her soup in front of her; the water is filled exactly to the top, no more or less than the other bowl.)

Me: “They’re both 16 ounces. We have two cups right now because of an inventory issue.”

Customer: “But I would rather have the other bowl. It holds more because I always have left over and it’s bigger.”

(I went over and poured her soup into the other bowl, put a lid on it, and put it back on her tray for her. She paid and walked off happily.)

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Making A Mug Out Of You

, | Southlake, TX, USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a bakery and cafe that uses regular words (small, med, large) for coffee sizes, but having worked for the Siren in the past, I know their language, too.)

Customer: “…and a tall coffee.”

Me: *repeating back order* “…and one small coffee.”

Customer: “NO. I said TALL. T-A-L-L. I don’t know what words you guys use here, but I need a tall.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I used to work at [Competitor] so I know that tall is small for them. We make it easy and just use small, medium, and large.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever, a regular then.”

Me: “Okay, so one medium coffee?”

Customer: “YES.”

(We finish the transaction, which ends with me giving her a medium paper cup for the self-serve coffee. Afterwards, I step away from the register for a moment to help run food and bus tables. I return to the register to see the same customer walking up.)

Customer: “I need a cup.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, did I forget to give you one?”

Customer: *holding up the cup I gave her* “No, I need a CUP. C-U-P.”

Me: “Do you need a second one, to double-cup it?”

Customer: “NO, I spent so long telling you what size I wanted that I forgot to tell you that I want a CUP.”

Me: “Oh, do you want a ceramic mug? Let me go get you one!”

(The real kicker is, we only have one size mug so we could have avoided all this if she started with that!)

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