El-Blow

, , , , , | Friendly | May 11, 2018

(My dad and I are staying with a friend of his, whose daughter recently had a baby. We are all sitting in the kitchen, while she bounces her son on her lap. At one point she moves a bit farther to the left than she meant to, and SLAMS her elbow onto the edge of the table. She freezes, her eyes bug out, and her jaw drops.)

Me: “Why don’t I hold onto him for a minute?”

(She wordlessly handed me her baby, eyes watering, then doubled over, clutching her elbow.)

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Got The Time Most Of The Time

, , , | Friendly | September 7, 2017

(I am on vacation in Mexico, hanging out with some fellow campers. I have been at this particular spot for a couple months longer than them, and have gotten used to its natural cycles.)

Camper #1: “Oh, hey, what time is it?”

Me: “It’s…” *I look at the sky, hold up an arm, and judge the distance between it and one of the constellations.* “…about 10 o’clock.”

Camper #2: “I’m going to check that, and if you’re right, that’s awesome.” *looks at his cellphone* “It’s 10:07! Wicked!”

(Over time, I got less accurate, since the position of stars change throughout the year, but my estimates were still within an hour of the actual time.)

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