I treated myself to a birthday cruise, and I made sure to take lots of US cash for tips. Having spent lots of time in the customer service trenches, I was determined not to miss rewarding any service member who helped me in ANY way (and I needed a LOT of help), and to be known as “that fat American lady with the water bottle who always tips”.

I took said water bottle with me to dinner one night and inadvertently left it under the table when I left. I handed my waiter the typical $10 and wished him a good night. I was halfway back to my cabin when I heard, “Miss! Oh, Miss!” behind me. I turned to see the waiter jogging down the hallway with my water bottle. I thanked him profusely, and as he left, I decided he deserved a better tip.

I ducked into my cabin to grab more cash, and returned to the dining hall to find my waiter. When I approached him, he was chatting with other waiters (dinner was over by then), and they were all concerned when I asked my waiter for the $10 bill back. He did so without hesitation, albeit some confusion.

I placed a $20 in his hand, and said:

Me: “That’s for returning my bottle to me!”

The confused faces changed to smiles (and a few chuckles), as I thanked him again and went on with my vacation.

(I’m walking along a beach with my mom on an island in the Bahamas, taking in the scenery and generally just soaking in the beautiful day. I mention to her that I’ve noticed people not walking the right way in the ocean — the right way being shuffling along and not taking big steps, so as not to step on a stingray and get stung. A woman nearby hears what I’ve said and looks at me, aghast.)

Woman: “You mean they don’t take those out of here?!”

Me: “What? The stingrays? Uh, no. This is the ocean. They live here?”

Woman: “Oh, my God!” *scurries back up the beach to a lounge chair and sits down*

(My mom and I shared a good WTF look. I understand people might not have heard about the best way to walk so as not to get stung, even though there were a few signs up and the brochures mentioned it, etc., but… it’s the ocean. You know, the wild? Where animals live? Some people are just… There are no words.)