(It’s my first day working in this cafe. It’s late in the afternoon and we are getting ready to close. I am in the back kitchen, cleaning, when I overhear this conversation between the waitress and a customer who has just walked in and is looking at the food we have left on display.)

Waitress: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Don’t you have anything else vegetarian? All I can see are these quiches, and they look disgusting! Like they’ve been here for hours!”

Waitress: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Normally we do have a few more vegetarian options, pasties and such, but as you can see, it’s almost the end of the day, so we’ve sold out of most things. But I can assure you that the quiches are baked fresh here and these ones are still fine to eat.”

Customer: “Well, they look terrible. I’ll just have one of those pies.”

Waitress: “Are you sure, ma’am? These are meat pies; they’re not vegetarian.”

Customer: “Just give me a d*** pie!”

(The waitress reluctantly bags up the pie and the customer pays for it and leaves in a huff. Sure enough, less than five minutes later, the customer returns.)

Customer: “How dare you sell this to me! It’s not vegetarian! It’s got f***ing meat in it! What the f*** is wrong with you?!”

Me: *to my fellow kitchen employees* “I’m going to love working here, aren’t I?”

This story is part of the Crazy-First-Day roundup!

Read the next Crazy-First-Day roundup story!

Read the Crazy-First-Day roundup!

(I recently moved, but some of my belongings were somehow misplaced during shipping including many of my gaming items. My fiance takes me to get some of them replaced.)

Me: “Excuse me? I noticed you sell the glow-light controllers but you only have two colors. Would it be possible for me to order one in a different color?”

Employee: “Sorry, miss, that controller only comes in two colors.”

Me: “Actually, I’m pretty sure it also comes in purple considering I have bought a purple one before.”

Employee: “No, those are the only colors we have. Even if we ordered some, they don’t come in purple. What guy would want a girly purple controller, anyway?”

(I go over to the stand, pick up one of the controllers, and hold up the section that shows all the different colors the controllers are available in… including purple.)

Me: “According to the packaging it comes in purple. Can you order one or not?”

Employee: “Look, lady, you obviously don’t know what you are talking about, okay? That controller doesn’t come in purple and I’m not going to order one for you.”

(Fed up, I send my fiance up to go deal with it. Insultingly, the employee was more then happy to order a purple controller for him. Needless to say, I filed a complaint.)

(It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m a customer in the supermarket waiting in line for self-checkout. This supermarket has a bonus card, but you have to scan it AFTER you scan all your items. A customer is at the self-check in front of me, buying milk and pretzels. The lines are really long, and the self-check attendant is helping someone else.)

Customer: “Why doesn’t this work?!” *waves her bonus card all over the scanner*

Me: “You have to scan your groceries first, hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’, and then it’ll ask for the bonus card.”

Customer: “It’s not working!” *keeps waving card*

Me: “That’s because you have to scan your groceries first.”

(She scans her items and then starts jabbing the ‘Help Needed’ button immediately.)

Customer: “See, the pretzels are supposed to be only $2, and it’s ringing up $4! This is wrong!”

Me: “You haven’t scanned your bonus card yet. You need to hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’ first, then scan the card, and it’ll take the money off.”

Customer: “Do you even know how to use this?!”

(I lean over and hit “Finish” and “Pay,” and then the kiosk says, “Please scan your bonus card.” She does, and the discount applies.)

Me: “See, $2 for pretzels.”

Kiosk: “Please take your receipt.”

Customer: “Now where’s my receipt? Stupid machine!” *stares in the wrong place*

Me: *points* “Your receipt prints up there.”

(The customer glares at me, grabs her receipt, and storms off to the bagging area, where she stares menacingly at me while she’s bagging her items and putting her change away. To add insult to injury, she puts her purse in the bagging area so I can’t start scanning my items.)

Customer: *finally leaves without saying thanks*

Me: “You’re welcome! Happy New Year to you, too!”

This story is part of the New Year’s Eve roundup!

Read the next New Year’s Eve roundup story!

Read the New Year’s Eve roundup!

(My friend and I are both overweight, so we decide to start going to the gym to lose weight and get in shape for the first time in our lives. She is a bit self-conscious and is hesitant to go at first because she is afraid others will stare. After a couple of weeks, she stops worrying because most people at our gym go about their own business. We’d never had a problem until one day, when she is jogging on the treadmill.)

Rude Member: “Hey, fat b****! Why don’t you get off the treadmill before you break it?”

My Friend: *stops jogging* “What?”

Rude Member: “Get the f*** off the treadmill! Your fat a** is going to break it! Let someone who weighs less than Shamu use it! Just go away and take up space at [Fast Food Restaurant], where you belong.”

(My friend, looking like she’s about to cry, steps off the machine.)

Rude Member: “You fatties are a waste of space! You just eat everything in sight and lounge about, getting fatter, and then you complain about your weight. Why don’t you ever do something about it?”

My Friend: “Excuse me?! You just told me to get my fat a** off of a treadmill, where I was exercising, and go to [Fast Food Restaurant]. Then you have the audacity to tell me that I only sit around eating and not doing anything to lose weight? Get the h*** out of my face, you f***ing jerk!” *gets back on her treadmill and resumes jogging*

Rude Member: “I hope they charge you double when you break the machines, you cow!” *stomps away*

(Later, I saw the manager tearing up the rude member’s gym membership right in front of him. The manager had been informed of the whole incident by several other members!)

Did you find this story using our Gyms Roundup?

Click here to go to the next story!

Click here to go back to the roundup!

(It is five minutes to closing at our store when the phone rings. Policy requires that we answer until 11:30 during winter hours. I pick up and my friend and manager stands behind me.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store Location]. What can I do for you tonight?”

Customer: “I need two pan pizzas with sausage and pepperoni.”

(I put the order in on the computer and look to the clock. It is now three minutes to close.)

Me: “All right, sir. I’m going to have to put this in for carry-out, as we close in three minutes.”

Customer: “Uh, no. I want it for delivery.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. We close at 11:30.”

Customer: “Well, the Internet says you close at midnight. I want delivery.”

Me: “Again, I can’t do that. We have cleanup to do, and we close in one minute. We are also on the winter schedule, and close a half hour earlier than summer hours.”

Customer: “That’s f***ing stupid!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t have you speak to me that way. If you like, you can speak to my manager about it. She’s standing right here, and has heard this entire conversation.”

(He settles down. It is now after 11:30.)

Customer: “Can’t you call it carry-out and just bring it to me?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Can I send you a picture of the web page?”

Me: “You can, but it won’t make a difference. This is policy, sir.”

Customer: “Fine! F*** you!”

(He hangs up. I smile and put the phone down.)

Manager: “He was pleasant.”

Me: “I love people like that.”

Manager: “Why?”

Me: “They give me stories to tell.”

Did you find this story on our Delivery Driver roundup?

Click here to read the first story!

Click here to go back to the roundup!