Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Endangered With Comb-Overs

, , , , , | Right | April 9, 2009

(A man walks up to me with his son while I’m tending the bird section.)

Man: “Excuse me, what are those birds?”

Me: “They’re bald eagles.”

Man: “Well, that’s just so god-d**n cheap! Our nation’s capital, and we can’t even afford young eagles!”

Me: “Sir, that eagle isn’t very old at all. Eagles have a life span of–”

Man: “Don’t give me any excuses! I know they’re old! They’re bald! You only get bald when you’re old!”

Man’s Son: “Yeah, just like you, Dad!”

Man: “NOT ANOTHER WORD! WE’RE OUT OF HERE!”

(Apparently, on his way out he complained about the same thing to three zookeepers, and all three of them just laughed.)

Dealing With Customers Is Child’s Play

, , | Right | April 3, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company], this is [My Name], how may I help you?”

Customer: *laughing hysterically* “Is there a grown-up there?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: *still laughing* “Is there a grown-up there? You sound like a child!”

Me: “Oh, thank you ma’am, but I’m an adult. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Are you sure? You sound like you’re three! What do they do, hire children?”

Me: “No, I’m 22 actually. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Pass me to someone who sounds like an adult.”

Me: “I don’t think we’ll be able to help you.” *hangs up*

Blood Pressure Go Up, Blood Pressure Go Down

, , , | Right | April 2, 2009

(I’m calling to clarify information on a form this guy sent in.)

Caller: “Do you realize I’m on the ‘Do Not Call During Dinner’ list!?”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry that–”

Caller: “You f****** insurance agents! Do you realize that [another insurance company] totally f***ed me over?! Do you realize how much money they cost me? Those f****** guys got put in jail and now I have to pay more money!”

Me: “Sir, this has nothing to do with–”

Caller: “I do not like being sold things during dinner!”

Me: “Sir, I am not trying to sell you anything–”

Caller: “All you f****** insurance people just want to roll me over and sodomize me!”

Me: “Sir, this is on behalf of your existing company, and it’s regarding a form you yourself sent in. I have it in front of me now and I just had a few questions.”

Caller: *totally friendly* “Oh! Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Dirty Deeds For Dirt Cheap Clothes

, , , | Right | April 1, 2009

(A customer walks out of our fitting rooms holding a top, and she has an angry look on her face.)

Customer: “This top is dirty. Can I get a discount?”

Me: “It just looks like some of your makeup has rubbed off on it; I’m sure it will come out in the wash.”

Customer: “It isn’t makeup; can you give me a discount?”

Me: “Uh, I’m pretty sure it is.”

Customer: *getting louder* “It’s not okay! I dropped it on the ground and stood on it!”

Me: “You stood on it and made it dirty, and you want a discount?”

Customer: “…I’ll just go get another size then…”

How Is My Excuse? Call 1-800-NOT-ALWAYS-RIGHT

, , | Right | March 27, 2009

Me: *on the phone* “Hi, thanks for calling [Company]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I have a complaint about your delivery driver. He was driving too slow, and in the carpool lane.”

Me: “How fast was he going?”

Caller: “60 miles per hour.”

Me: “Well, sir, that is the speed limit. Was he by himself in the carpool lane?”

Caller: “No, there were two people.”

Me: “So, let me see if I understand. Your complaint is that my delivery driver was following the law?”

Caller: “Yes, and I want him fired, or at least reprimanded. He made me late for work!”

Me: “…”


Did you find this story on our Delivery Driver roundup?

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go back to the roundup!