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Stories about people who clearly aim to misbehave.

What’s His Deal?

, , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(I manage a business that caters to people with body modifications such as gauged ears, plugs, piercings, etc. A lot of my clientele is polite, but occasionally I get a customer who gives us modified types a bad rap. Since I’m female, sometimes the male customers don’t take me seriously and think they can bully me.)

Customer: “How much are these plugs in my size?”

Me: “They’re $20 a pair.”

Customer: “And if I get two pairs?”

Me: “That would be $40.”

Customer: *stares at me*

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You’re supposed to make me a deal if I want more things.”

Me: *flatly* “Am I?”

Customer: “Yeah, b****, it’s called good customer service. Don’t you f****** know anything?”

(Since this sort of encounter happens more than I would like to admit, I’m already over trying to help this guy.)

Me: “All right. You can either talk to me with respect, or you can leave, dude. I don’t have time for your crap.”

Customer: *looks at me stunned, silent*

Me: “Well?”

Customer: “I want a manager! Who the f*** do you think you are?!”

Me: “The f****** manager.”

(The customer looked pissed, then left.)

Waiting Won’t Cost You Anything

, , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(I am the first customer in line at the checkout. When I swipe my card, I ask for cash back. The cashier’s drawer opens, and he realizes he doesn’t have enough cash. He calls for an assistant manager. He, in turn, calls for the manager. The manager has to go to the back of the store. By now, the line is backing up.)

Me: “You can wait on other customers, and I can wait out of the way.”

Cashier: “Great.”

Customer #2: “Hey, thanks!”

(Cashier rings up [Customer #2] and [Customer #3] completely, since they each have one item. He then starts on [Customer #4].)

Manager: “[Cashier], here’s your cash. Don’t you have a customer waiting?”

Cashier: *to [Customer #4]* “Excuse me, I just need to count this real fast.”

(The cashier counts out the total cash he was given, takes some cash out of the pile and puts it in his drawer, then calls to me to give me my cash.)

Customer #4: “Hey! She can wait. Finish my order.”

Cashier: “Sir, I’m sorry, but she was ahead of you. She’s been waiting for my manager.”

Customer #4: “I don’t care. You started my order; you finish my order. She can f****** wait!”

Customer #5: “HEY! Shut your face and let him do his job. She was nice enough to let the line keep moving while she waited; you can wait ten seconds for her to get her cash.”

([Customer #4] turns towards [Customer #5], screaming something obscene, and stops suddenly. Evidently seeing a guy in a state trooper uniform made him think twice about screaming and swearing. The cashier hands me my cash and receipt.)

Me: “Okay, great. Thanks.”

Customer #5: “…and thank you for letting the line move. Sorry about this guy.”

([Customer #4] was now staring at the ground, totally silent.)

Making A Boob Of The HR Process

, , , , , | Working | July 10, 2018

(I am at work in a lift waiting to go up. The doors open on a floor, and two women and one man enter. The man is a member of senior management, and although I don’t work directly for him, he commands a lot of respect due to his authority. After one of the women leaves, he glances at me.)

Manager: “You look perkier than you did the other day.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Manager: “You looked miserable the last time I saw you.”

Me: “Oh, I was probably having a down day.”

(The other woman smiles knowingly at me.)

Manager: “Did you get a new bra?”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “It’s your boobs. They look a lot firmer. Did you get a new bra?”

Me: “I don’t think that’s any of your business!”

Manager: “Don’t worry. I’m gay. If I were straight, though, I’d motorboat you.”

(The woman and I looked aghast, and the woman quickly pushed the button for the next floor. We jumped out and headed straight to HR. The HR manager — who is a woman — laughed at us, asking if we knew he was gay, and refused to file a complaint because it was impossible for him to be inappropriate with women because of his sexuality. We instead told our respective managers, and the issue was quickly escalated to the board of directors. It then came out that a lot of women had had similar experiences with him, and that the HR manager had been protecting him because he was her brother-in-law. The man simply lost his job, while the HR manager was offered a lower position, on the grounds that she also receive training on the matter of harassment in the workplace. She refused and is now not working with us, either.)

With Your Toast, She Is Toast

, , , , | Working | July 10, 2018

(I’m in a cafe mid-morning. My rather young waitress looks a bit odd; she’s not looking right at me, and is leaning against the table as she speaks.)

Waitress #1: “So… Hi. What would you like to drink?”

Me: “Just a coffee, black, please.”

Waitress #1: “Coffee… Yeah, coffee. I think I need a coffee, too.”

Me: “Er… Okay. Do you want my food order?”

Waitress #1: “Oh, you know what you want? Hold on…”

(She writes on her notepad, stares at it, crosses something out, writes again, rips off the top page, writes again on a fresh page, then looks back at me.)

Waitress #1: “What drink did you want?”

Me: “Coffee. Black.”

Waitress #1: “Okay. Coffee. Yeah… Sorry, I was out all night with my mates at a nightclub. I didn’t get home until six o’clock this morning. I had to come to work at eight o’clock, so I didn’t even get to sleep; I only had time to wipe off my makeup. Can you see?”

(She leans forward to me and looks up, pointing at her eyes. This close up, I can see the remains of black eye makeup smeared across her face.)

Me: “Er, yes.”

Waitress #1: “I am so tired.”

Me: “Okay… Can I order food? I’d like some beans on toast, please.”

Waitress #1: “Yeah… Beans on toast… Yeah…”

(She wanders off to the kitchen, and a few minutes later a different waitress comes over with my coffee.)

Waitress #2: “Hi. I am so sorry; your order has been misplaced. Can I take it again?”

Me: *pointing to kitchen* “Is she okay?”

(Right then, [Waitress #1] comes out of the kitchen, throws her apron to the floor, and storms out the cafe door, swearing and yelling incoherently.)

Waitress #2: “…aaand she’s fired. Finally.” *big smile* “So, welcome to [Cafe]. Your coffee is free today. What else would you like to order?”

It May Be All Greek To Me But I Understood

, , , , , | Working | July 9, 2018

(While our family is German, my sister’s fiancé is Greek and moved to Germany with his whole family due to the Greek economy crisis. They went back to their home in Greece for a month in summer and invited my sister to join them for her summer holiday. It’s also important to note that my sister’s fiancé is very white, blonde, and blue-eyed, and doesn’t look typically Greek at all but rather Scandinavian. The two of them are out shopping. My sister does not speak Greek, and relies on her fiancé to translate or just speaks English. They are currently in a small clothing store. My sister wants to try on some shoes while her fiancé has gone elsewhere.)

Sister: “Excuse me, do you have these in [size]?”

Employee: “I think we do! Give me a moment; I’ll check in the back.”

(She comes back with the shoes in the correct size and my sister tries them on, but they don’t fit very well.)

Sister: “I like how they look, but they’re too narrow at the front and loose in the back. Do you maybe have something similar in a wider cut?”

(The employee is very polite and professional, and proceeds to show her several similar pairs. However, all of them are lacking a specific detail that the other shoe had and my sister liked very much. She doesn’t know how to describe it in English, though. Just then, her fiancé shows up with a few shirts he wants to buy.)

Fiancé: *in German* “Hi, babe, how’s it going? Did you find anything?”

(He kisses her.)

Fiancé: *to employee* “Hi!”

Employee: *to fiancé* “Hello, sir. Did you find everything all right?”

Sister: *in German* “[Fiancé]! I’ve been looking for shoes with [detail], but I don’t know how to say it in English! Can you translate it for me?”

(She then explains in German what she couldn’t say in English. Her fiancé proceeds to translate it to Greek for the employee. When he starts speaking Greek, the employee’s eyes go wide and her whole demeanour changes.)

Employee: *speaks rapidly in Greek, gesticulating wildly*

Fiancé: *answers in Greek, brows furrowed*

Employee: *more gesticulating, bats her eyes at [Fiancé]*

Fiancé: *shoves his shirts into the employee’s arms, says something in Greek angrily, and puts his arm around [Sister]*

Fiancé: *in German* “Come on, honey. We’re leaving.”

(He then pulls her out of the store. The employee yells something in Greek after them. Now outside, my sister asks what happened in the store.)

Fiancé: “When the employee realized I was Greek and you couldn’t understand us, she offered to sell everything to me without tax and receipt. I refused. She then called it a ‘special discount’ and started hitting on me, right next to you. She also said some racist things about Germans being greedy and taking all our money, and that I’d be better off without you. I told her to go f*** herself and her ‘discount.’”

(He looks at my sister and laughs.)

Fiancé: “After all, I love you, and your father is a tax accountant!”