Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Flying The Foul-Mouthed Skies

, , , , | Right | August 4, 2009

(Note: when checking in for a flight, customers are asked to provide the customer service agent with a six-digit code.)

Me: “May I have your confirmation code, please, ma’am?”

Customer: “Sure. It’s ‘A’ as in a**hole, ‘F’ as in f***, one, five, ‘B’ as in b****, and ‘C’ as in c**t.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Um, okay… thank you. I’ll just find you in the system…”

This story is part of our Swearing Customers roundup!

Read the next Swearing Customers roundup story!

Read the Swearing Customers roundup!

Shooting Yourself In The Foot After Getting It In The Door

, , , | Right | July 27, 2009

(A woman with a resume approaches our hostess at six pm on a very busy Friday night.)

Woman: “I’d like to speak to a manager, please.”

Hostess: “They’re all busy right now, but I can take your resume and pass it along.”

Woman: “No. I want to speak with a manager now.”

Hostess: “Well, like I said, they’re all unavailable right now, but I can pass along–”

Woman: “No. I want a manager now. I want them to put a face to the name on the resume. I want to be professional!”

Hostess: “I’m sorry, but you’ve walked in at the beginning of the dinner rush. Perhaps you should try coming back during the slow times, usually three to five pm?”

Woman: “No. I am here now, and I will speak with a manager now! You are being unprofessional!”

Hostess: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I really can’t ask them to conduct an interview when they are backed up with orders.”

Woman: “Fine! This is a waste of my time!”

(The woman ripped her resume in two, dropped it on the floor, and stormed out the front door. Suffice it to say, she wasn’t professional enough for the job.)

That’s Not The Only Thing She Was Scared Out Of

, , | Right | July 24, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling *hiccup!* how may I *hiccup!* help you?”

Customer: *laughing* “Got a problem over there?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, *hiccup!*, I have the hiccups.”


Me: “Um… uh… I mean…”

Customer: “Ha ha ha, I’m just kidding with you. I bet you don’t have the hiccups anymore now, huh?”

Butthead, The Incontinence Years

, , , , | Right | July 23, 2009

(I notice a customer is standing in front of a freezer. After remaining there for several minutes, I get concerned.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

(At this point, I notice that he’s urinated in the freezer. The customer turns around, zips up his fly, and then pulls his shirt over his head.)

Customer: “I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR ME BUNGHOLE!” *runs away*

Coworker: “They don’t pay us enough for this.”

Kookie Cookie Karma

, , , | Right | July 16, 2009

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes. What are these?”

Me: “That is a fortune cookie, ma’am.”

Customer: “It doesn’t look like a cookie. Where are the chocolate chips?”

Me: “Ma’am, these are a different kind of cookie. You open them up and they tell your fortune on a piece of paper.”

Customer: “What kind of cookies have paper in them!?”

Me: “Fortune cookies, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is an outrage! Cookies are meant to be eaten, and paper isn’t EATABLE!”

Me: “Please, ma’am, the paper is–”

Customer: “Shut up! I’m leaving.”

(The customer began to storm out but in her anger missed the door and walked right into the wall. When she finally stumbled out, I opened up the fortune cookie and read its message: “Do not worry. You will get what is coming to you in life.”)