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Fowl Behavior, Part 2

, , , , | Right | August 13, 2008

(At the deli where I work, every couple hours I cook up between 12 and 20 whole chickens. They’re kept in the hot holding cabinet for customers to grab.)

Customer: “I need ten.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “These whole chickens. I need ten of them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s all we have, because we’re closing soon.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and takes absolutely everything left out of the holding cabinet*

(Another customer approaches me soon afterward.)

Another Customer: “Excuse me, that lady just grabbed a chicken out of my hands, claiming it was hers. Will there be any more?”

(Yes, that’s right. The first lady was going around taking chickens from other customers. Unbelievable.)

If No Scone, Then Insta-Crone

, , | Right | August 6, 2008

Customer: “I would like a tall coffee and a lemon cranberry scone, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I just sold the last scone to another customer. Would you like a pumpkin scone or a white chocolate blueberry scone instead?”

Customer: “What? No! I come here every morning and get a tall coffee and scone! I DEMAND you get me a scone! Look in the backroom, I need my scone!”

(I go to the backroom to check for a scone, although I knew we didn’t have any.)

Me: “I’m sorry, we just don’t have any more lemon scones. Would you like anything else from the pastry fridge?”

Customer: “I can’t believe you sold my scone to someone else! You ruined my morning!”

Me: “There is another location near here… maybe they will have a scone for you. I can even call them if you want so they can set it aside for yo–”

Customer: “Do you think I have time for that? I run on a schedule!”

(The customer who had bought the last scone notices the situation and comes over.)

Nice customer: “Listen, if you want the scone so bad, just take mine. Seriously I didn’t even touch it… just take it.”

Customer: “NO, THANK YOU!” *storms off*


This story is part of the Customers-Overreacting roundup!

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We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 3

, , | Right | August 3, 2008

(The store I work at has a policy where an employee has to check every customer’s receipt on their way out the exit. After checking several receipts, a customer walks up with three items in his cart and starts walking right past me.)

Me: “Sir, I need to check your receipt.”

Customer: “I only have three items in my cart.”

Me: “I know, but it’s store policy. I just need to mark it with –”

Customer: “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’re only checking my receipt because I’m black! You think because I’m black, I’m a thief!”

Me: “Sir, I checked the receipts for everybody in front of you, and I’m going to check the receipts for everybody behind you. Now if you’ll let me see your receipt, I just need to mark it. You’re holding everybody up.”

Customer: “No, I’m not moving until you call your manager! I don’t shop here to be treated like this! You d*** racist!”

(At this point, a big, imposing customer waiting behind him–who just happens to also be African American–explodes.)

Big Imposing Customer: “GET YOUR A** OUT OF THE WAY NOW!”

Customer: *hands me receipt*

Not. Funny.

, , , | Right | August 1, 2008

(I am folding clothes when I am approached by an angry-looking customer. I turn to her, and she lowers her voice to almost a growl and narrows her voice.)

Customer: “I hate this store. I hate you because you work in it. I’m going to take it out on your family and kill them all.”

Me: *alarmed*

Customer: *glares

Me: “Is there anything…”

Customer: “HA! HA HA HA! FOOLED YOU! You should have SEEN your face! Got you!” *strolls off*

Speed Bumps With Name Tags

, , , , | Right | July 30, 2008

(I’m picking up overstock on the floor, and an elderly lady hits my heel with her shopping cart.)

Me: “Ow!”

(The elderly lady proceeds to RAM the shopping cart into my foot until she succeeds in rolling over it completely.)

Me: “OWW! OWWWWW!”

Elderly Lady: “Hmmm? Ehhh? Did I bump ya?”

Me: “You rammed right over my foot!”

Elderly Lady: “Well, it shouldn’t be on the floor.”

Me: “…I’m going on my break.”

(Turned out she bruised a bone in my foot and tore a ligament by ramming into it.)


This story is part of our Shocking Old People roundup!

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