Family Business

, , , , , | Related | September 27, 2017

Friends, relatives, and being a store employee do not mix. Everyone is friendly when things are going well, but the first time you’re out of an item, those closest to you become horrors.

I work in a farm store. One day, a fairly distant relative of mine stopped by with her elderly father, intent on purchasing a tiller to go on the back of his tractor. I greeted them extra-warmly and gave him my discount, which I’m not even supposed to do for extended family, based on the store rules. Everything went fine until I accompanied them to the front parking lot to assist in loading.

These implements come in wood crates. Typically, we unlock the item and then use a forklift to load said item into the back of a pickup or onto the bed of a trailer. Liability prevents us from helping the customer tie the item down or handle it in any other fashion. Most of the time this is no issue and both parties leave happy.

Back to our situation: We were barely out of the building when I noticed they had driven the actual tractor to the store, and fully intended to hook the tiller on and haul it home that way. I shouldn’t have even offered to un-crate the item, but did because after all, they were family. I did, however, tell them that I cannot help hook the tiller up to the tractor. The relative’s father would have to do it on his own. That’s when all hell broke loose. Once the old man got wind of this, he let loose with a string of obscenities that would have made a sailor blush.

Being confronted with such rudeness made me want to bend the rules for them even less, so I stood my ground and told him that our insurance carrier would not be pleased if I (or he) was injured due to an accident hooking the item up. His daughter stood silently as he rained F-bombs on me, referring to me as “stacked s***” and other cute terms of endearment, offering nothing in the form of an explanation or apology for his actions. To make a long story a little shorter, he begrudgingly pinned the tiller to his tractor himself, cursing me out the entire time, and then recklessly drove out of the parking lot as fast as he could go, barely missing other patrons’ vehicles.

A few weeks later, his daughter came in the store by herself. As luck would have it, I was running register and she ended up in my lane. I did my best to make small talk. God only knows why she thought I would care, but she brought up her father. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist. I said, “Oh, by the way, how is he doing? In good health?” She looked at me strangely and said that yes, he was okay. I responded with, “Oh, I’m terribly sorry to hear that; hopefully things will turn around soon. Have a nice day!” She gave me a blank stare and then walked out quietly.

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Out Of The Frying Pan And Into Getting Fired

, , , , | Working | September 27, 2017

(We’re in a waiting bay at a popular fast food restaurant. I see a worker carrying our food over. I notice that she is walking rather slowly, and then I see her open the bag and pinch a few fries. I lower my window as she arrives.)

Worker: “662?”

Me: “Yes.” *as she hands the bag over* “Could we perhaps have an order you haven’t already eaten from, thank you?”

Worker: *going red in the face* “Oh, umm, sure. I didn’t know you were watching.”

(She walks back and starts eating again, in full view of the restaurant. She comes back five minutes later, holding the bag at arms length.)

Partner: *as we’re leaving the car park* “Let’s never come here again.”

Me: “Deal.”

(We never did.)

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Needs To Step Down

, , , , , | Right | September 26, 2017

(It is a slow day on my shift. There is just one customer, sitting at a table with his food and laptop, when a slightly annoyed-looking man comes in with his two teenage daughters.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Donut Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a medium hot coffee with cream and sugar.”

Daughter #1: *rather timidly* “I’ll have a maple-frosted donut.”

Daughter #2: “Hmm…”

(She takes some time, about half a minute, looking at the donuts behind me.)

Customer: *turns to [Daughter #2]* “Stop taking so long! You’re wasting the cashier’s time. Make up your mind.” *turning to me* “Sorry it’s taking so long. My daughters can be so problematic.”

(I just stand there and smile, not really knowing what to say.)

Customer: *speaking loudly* “They’ve been nothing but trouble to me and my wife. Always doing bad things behind our backs. You know they almost got us in trouble with the police once?”

(Both girls are now looking nervous and casting their eyes down on the floor. The first one looks scared and second one looks frustrated. I find his statement hard to believe, because they seem like the “good-girl” types, but I say nothing because it’s obvious that he’s annoyed. The customer with the laptop is raising his eyes up to look at them.)

Customer: “Just a bunch of good-for-nothings. So, spit it out, what do you want?” *cuts her off before she can speak* “You know what? She’ll just have a coffee roll, like last time.”

(I ring them up for their purchases. The man pays with his card, I get the donut and coffee roll in a bag and give it to them, but I tell them they’ll have to wait a bit for the hot coffee. The man and second daughter leave to wait in the car, leaving the first daughter to pick up the coffee after it’s finished.)

Me: “Okay, here you go.” *hands her the coffee*

Daughter #1: *takes it, speaks solemnly* “Thanks. Oh, and by the way… he’s my stepfather.”

Me: *in total shock* “Oh…”

(The customer on his laptop perks his head up real fast at this, and we both stare after her as she leaves the shop, wiping roughly at one eye. My coworker comes up from the kitchen, shaking her head.)

Laptop Customer: “I’m gonna bet the ‘police trouble’ they had was either one of the daughters trying to report his sorry a**. I’m only sorry it didn’t work.”

Coworker: “I’m just more appalled that this is the man their mother chose to marry!”

(Whether the man really was their stepfather or not, I have something to say to him: “You are a d*****-bag, and verbally abusing anyone is not cool.”)

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A Touching Story About The Lord

, , , , , | Right | September 26, 2017

(I am a cashier and server at a pizzeria in a mall food court. Note: I am Pagan and wear a pentacle necklace. At this business, you are allowed to refuse to take jewelry off if it is a religious symbol. This customer is a die-hard Christian and is very pleasant to me until we reach the register)

Me: “Welcome to [Pizzeria]! how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hello, dear. I would like the number one combo, with a cheese slice, side of baked ziti, and a regular drink please!”

Me: “Sure thing! Coming right up!”

(I put the pizza slice in the oven to let it get hot, and walk over to the pop machine which usually blocks customers’ view.)

Me: “And what kind of soda would you like to go with your meal today, ma’am?”

Customer: “I would like a regular sized [soda] please!”

Me: “All right! Here you go!”

(I go grab her pizza and put it on her plate with her ziti.)

Me: “Your total will be [total], Please!”

Customer: “Out of twenty, please!”

(While I am getting her change, she notices my pentacle necklace and says this…)

Customer: “Blasphemy! You are a witch! You worship Satan! You live your life in sin!”

Me: “Um… excuse me?!”

Customer: “You probably even touch yourself at night, don’t you!? What do you think Jesus thinks about you?!”

Me: *completely blank faced and emotionless* “Ma’am, here is your change, and to answer your question, yes, I do… and I think of Jesus while I do it. He probably thinks I am pretty awesome because of it!”

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Not Very Good On The Parenting Scene

, , , , , , , | Related | September 26, 2017

(I’m at a fairly popular art store, looking for more paints, when I hear this conversation from behind a shelf:)

Mother: “Go put the paints on the counter and ask to put them on hold. It’s fine; people do it all the time.”

Teenager: “Mom, couldn’t you just hold two of them? I’m carrying everything, and you’re just holding your purse.”

(I slowly turn the corner and pretend to look at more paints while eyeing this mother, and this obviously uncomfortable teenager holding five tubes of paint and two bags.)

Mother: “Don’t use that attitude! I’m going to count to ten, and then if you haven’t put the paints on the counter, I’m going to make a scene, because you’re being ridiculous!”

Teenager: “Yeah, and you’re being childish.”

(The teen storms away to put the paints on the counter, and the cashier gives her a sympathetic glance, as the girl is very obviously shy. The mom sees me and whispers under her breath:)

Mother: “Can you believe teens these days? Always disrespectful and rude!”

(I just grimaced. What bad parenting. I feel bad for that kid.)

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