Just Try To Steal Away From Them

, , , , , | Friendly | September 8, 2017

(A customer has come to me asking if I can find an item for her. I take her to where the stock is. I take an item off the hook to show her, but because the stock in that area is tightly packed, I knock a few small items off neighboring hooks. As I reach down to pick them up, I notice that her bag is on the shelf right underneath and is open.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ve knocked some items down; would you mind checking to see if any have fallen into your bag?”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF STEALING!”

Me: “I wasn’t accusing you; I was the one who may have knocked something into it. I was just asking if you would check!”

Customer: “I’VE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN ALL OF MY LIFE, BEING ACCUSED OF BEING A THIEF!” *flings the item at me and storms off*

Me: “I honestly didn’t accuse you of being a thief; I’m sorry if you thought so.”

(She turned the corner abruptly, knocking one of the items I dropped out of a fold in her bag.)

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It’s A Manner-ial Thing

, , , , | Right | September 8, 2017

(Our second to last customer approaches my register and starts placing items on the counter. The customer is an older woman with a younger girl in tow, either her daughter or granddaughter.)

Me: “Hi! Is that all for you today?”

(I have a tendency to talk a bit fast, and I ask this as the customers are putting up their items.)

Customer: *sigh* “Must be a Millennial thing.”

Me: *utterly confused* “I’m sorry? What’s a Millennial thing?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t get me started, honey.”

(I guess manners are a “Millennial thing,” too, these days.)

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Their Humanity Is Not Up To The Mark

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 7, 2017

(I have a stork bite [red birthmark] on my forehead and down the side of my nose. I’m working the check-out, and am ringing up an older gentleman. Everything is going fine until…)

Customer: “You have something on your face.”

Me: “Oh, you mean my birthmark?”

(The man thinks for a bit, then leans right in and pokes me hard on my forehead.)

Customer: “That’s where God said, ‘I.’” *pokes me hard* “’Hate.’” *pokes me hard again* “’You.’” *pokes me hard one last time*

(The man then happily grabbed his purchase and walked out. I was too stunned to say anything.)

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They Ruled Out Everything

, , , , , | Learning | September 7, 2017

I am a resident assistant at my college. The school is VERY particular about alcohol violations, and there is a specific way you have to handle them. For example, if we suspect that a resident is drinking in the hall, we aren’t allowed to do anything unless we physically see them drinking it. There are lots of other rules as well that are pretty common sense, such as no pets other than fish or no open flames. This group somehow managed to break almost all of them.

I was the RA on call, meaning that if there was a problem, then I was the first point of contact. I was sitting at the front desk, chatting with another RA, when she got a text from a friend who lives in the building. The friend saw some girls drinking in their room, and being loud and obnoxious. My coworker told me to go up and check on them.

When I got to the room, I noticed several things wrong. First of all, their door was wide open, so I could see right into the room. The dorms consisted of two bedrooms connected by a common area, and the door opened directly into the common area. It was a total mess, which isn’t a crime in and of itself, but there were alcohol bottles everywhere, and no residents to be seen, though I could hear them talking in another room. I knocked on the door, and one of the girls came into the common area. I informed her that she wasn’t allowed to have any alcohol bottles in her room. She insisted that it was allowed because they were just for decoration, and I told her that it was still against the rules. (You couldn’t have any alcohol or drug apparatus, even if it was completely empty and strictly decor).

At that point I called my supervisor, who showed up some time later with two Public Safety officers. Even though what we could see was restricted to the common area, the officers had to search the whole suite, just in case. While they started looking, my supervisor gathered all the girls in the common area and started to document their IDs. The whole time, they were extremely belligerent and disrespectful, and kept insisting that she had no “right” to do this.

It turns out, the situation was much more than a few empty wine bottles. The officers found several half-empty beer bottles, a pipe, and a bong WITH some weed still inside. Upon further inspection, my supervisor found a cage, out in regular view, containing several mice- definitely not an approved pet. While I was standing there waiting for them to finish, I looked over and noticed several open candles on a table as well. The cherry on the cake? They’d taken one of the floor signs, which had fallen from its place next to the stairwell, and hung it on the wall as decoration. Aside from being a rather tacky addition, it was also blatant theft of school property.

In the end, the girls were written up and given a court date. They were livid, but I had zero sympathy for them.

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Cape Of Good Hope They Get Fired

, , , | Working | September 7, 2017

(I’m the customer. I am at home, calling a travel agency on the phone. The agent who takes my call sounds middle-aged, with a strong Southern drawl.)

Me: “I’d like to get an estimate on a round-trip ticket to Cape Town.”

Agent: “Cape Town? You mean Cape Cod. That’s in Massachusetts, honey.”

Me: “No. I do not mean Cape Cod. I mean Cape Town. That is in South Africa.”

Agent: “Cape Town?! Who in heck-fire would want to go there? Are you black?!”

Me: *speechless* “Uh…”

(I hang up on her, fume for ten minutes, then call back. This time, someone else answers. I explain that I called a few minutes ago about a flight to South Africa. The new agent on the phone interrupts.)

New Agent: “Yes, ma’am. You’re interested in Cape Town. We all heard what she said, and we are so sorry. She is now in the manager’s office, and I can promise you she will be let go today. I am so, so sorry.”

(She then gave me preliminary estimates, asked for my number, and spent a day researching cheaper go-arounds, such as flying through different connecting airports in Europe, Florida, and South America. I ended up getting a very good price.)

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