Scamming In Plain Sight

, , | | Right | March 26, 2008

(A customer ‘drops’ a brick, giving it a little chip. He then proceeds to join the line.)

Cashier: “Hello, sir, how can I help?”

Customer: “There’s a chip in this brick. I’d like to get a discount please.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, only cracks or serious fractures would warrant a discount on bricks. A chip won’t damage the function or stability of the brick.”

(The customer proceeds to lift up the brick and forcefully drops it on the ground.)

Customer: “Now it’s broken! Can I get a discount now?”

Cashier: “No, but you can sure as h*** pay for that.”

1 Thumbs
6,026
VOTES

The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back

, , | | Right | March 20, 2008

(A customer had a complaint about his food. He refused to let the woman working the register help him.)

Man: “I want to talk to a manager.”

Female employee: “Yes, sir.”

(The employee gets a shift manager to help her.)

Shift Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

Man: “No, I want a manager!”

Shift Manager: “I am a shift manager, sir.”

Man: “I want to see the store manager!”

Shift Manager: “Uhm, okay, sir, I’ll be right back.”

(I was in the office working on the crew schedules for the next week. Shift Manager comes in and asks me to deal with the customer. She didn’t need to explain. I’d heard it all… He was very loud. I went to help deal with the situation.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Man: “I want to see a f**king God-da** manager! Where’s the @#$%ing store manager?”

Me: “I am the store manager, Sir.”

Man: “I want to speak to a male manager!”

Me: “Sir, all of my shift managers are female. As, clearly, am I.”

(Actually, every person working that day was female.)

Man: “I demand to speak to your d*** f***ing boss!”

Me: “I can get you a number so you can call my district manager, sir. Will that be okay?”

Man: “Finally! DO IT NOW!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Just a second.”

(I go into my office and grab one of the district manager’s cards.)

Me: “Here you are, sir. If you give HER a call, I’m sure SHE will be happy to help you.”

(I thought he was going to have a heart attack after that. Purple was definitely not his color.)

1 Thumbs
10,266
VOTES

Why Some Folks Have Children

, , , | | Right | March 17, 2008

(A man comes in with about 4 children running about behind him. He comes up to the counter.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah…I’m looking for some *whispers*…porn.”

Me: “You mean adult movies?”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t stock those here.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “There are some stores in the town centre. Perhaps you can try there?”

Customer: “I want some porn now! What kind of store is this?”

Me: “I apologise, but we don’t stock adult movies.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, I only want to watch some porn with my wife.”

Me: “Sorry, this is a family store.”

Customer: “MAYBE IT’S FOR THE KIDS TOO! ”

(Customer storms out with all 4 children jumping around behind him as I stand there dumbfounded.)

1 Thumbs
3,687
VOTES

Everyone Loves A Cynic

, , | | Right | March 4, 2008

(I have been cleaning up the magazine section for over an hour, as people leave piles of magazines all over the store rather than buying them or putting them back. Two women approach me as I’m working.)

Woman #1: “Excuse me, didn’t you have chairs here in this section before?”

Me: “Yes we did, but we took them away because this area isn’t monitored as often and it results in a large mess and damaged products.”

Woman #2: *after leaving a pile of magazines on the floor* “Oh, so you mean you got lazy.”

(I try hard to not roll up a magazine and bop her on the head with it.)

1 Thumbs
1,821
VOTES

Send In The Clowns

, , , | | Right | January 27, 2008

(Almost thirty kids are lined up at the Velcro wall waiting to ride. We have about five minutes until our troupe leaves. One of the parents comes up to me.)

Mother: “I want my son to ride this ride.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think there’s enough time for all these kids to–”

Mother: “I don’t care if he’s the last one. I want him to ride this ride.”

Me: “This ride is going to shut down in about five minutes. There isn’t enough time for–”

Mother: “He can be the last in line, then.”

Me: “He can wait in line but probably won’t be able to–”

Mother: “Fine.”

(The mother walks away and returns some time after the ride is shut down and all kids are turned away.)

Mother: “Hey! HEY! I thought we agreed that my child would get on the ride.”

Me: “That’s not what we agreed to.”

Mother: “Well, put the ride back up so he can ride it.”

Me: “I’m sorry but we can’t do all that for one child.”

Mother: “Why not?! You’re just being f***ing stubborn.”

Me: “If you have any complaints you can speak to the clown over there. Have a nice day.”

Mother: “I don’t want to talk to any d*** clown.”

Me: “That clown is my boss.”

1 Thumbs
4,940
VOTES
Page 373/374First...370371372373374