This Manager Has You Down In The Gutter

, , , , , | Working | May 9, 2018

When I was still a teenager, I worked for a country club. The job was very easy most nights, and the clientele was very polite. The only bad thing about it was our general manager. He was a very pompous man who would eat more than he worked and would get in screaming matches with all the staff. The chefs especially hated him because he was always trying to tell them how to do everything, when he knew nothing about food. There was one night, above all others, that encapsulates him as a manager.

We were hosting a wedding, birthday party, golf tournament, and normal dining. We were very understaffed, and I happened to be sick, so we were all floundering. My supervisor put me on the hostess stand where I wouldn’t have to strain myself too much, but I still had quite a bit to do. At one point my GM approached me and demanded I clean the bathrooms. I tend to get very confrontational when I’m sick, and I told him no. I would not be cleaning a bathroom and dealing with food. That was not part of my duties. I guess he wasn’t expecting that from a young girl, and just scampered off.

I found out the next day what had happened. At some point, one of the women in the bridal party got drunk and tried to flush multiple tampons down our toilet. Our sewage is connected to the kitchen, and sewage water from the bathroom flooded the kitchen. My manager tried to get every person on staff to clean it, but they all had the same response as me. Instead of calling in a cleaner, a plumber, or closing down for the night, he told the dishwashers to just occasionally sweep the sewage water out the back door. He closed down both bathrooms with a full house, and we continued to serve food the entire night.

After all that, this man even had the gall to write up each person who had said no to him for “insubordination.” I quit not too long after. He is still the GM, years later.

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We’re Not Paying You To Get Cancer!

, , , , , , , | Working | May 9, 2018

(I have been employed by a small charity for years. I have seen many people come and go. One of the worst is a young woman. She is lazy and obviously does not care about doing a good job. I complain to the boss about something she did — or rather, something she didn’t do! — and he sighs and says, “She’s got to go,” but of course nothing is done. One day, a few months in, she goes off sick. She never comes back. She claims FIVE months sick pay and then resigns. A couple of years later, I am diagnosed with cancer. I go to the boss:)

Boss: “I am so sorry to hear that.”

Me: “Thanks. I will work as long as I can, but I have heard that chemo makes you feel worse and worse as you go on, so I will probably have to go completely in about a month.”

(This turns out to be absolutely true.)

Boss: “Okay, take all the time you need.”

Me: “Thanks. How much sick pay will I be entitled to?”

(I have worked there for 16 years by this point.)

Boss: “Two weeks.”

Me: “Two weeks? [Coworker] claimed for five months and only worked here for less than a year.”

Boss: “[Coworker] claiming for five months is why we decided to reduce it to two weeks, so no one can do that to us again.”

(Not only did I only receive two weeks sick pay, I also could not claim any statutory sick pay. I took a hit to my income at the worst time of my life. I only managed to survive because I was so ill I hardly left the house for three months, during that entire cold dark winter, not sick enough to be eligible for any charitable help. AFTER I came back, they decided to change the policy because of how I had suffered, but no back pay was forthcoming! Thanks, [Coworker]! You made a bad situation SO much worse.)

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The Flaunting Is Haunting

, , , , , | Right | May 9, 2018

(I work at a place that specializes in men’s suits and formal attire. Two men come in during a quiet period and begin browsing our selection, all the time making small talk to each other.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Man #1: “Not right now. Please leave; we’re discussing important decisions!”

(He makes a shooing gesture at me, and I duly return to the register. The two keep walking around, nattering endlessly to each other, before the man who spoke turns and walks right up to me.)

Man #1: “Well, maybe I’ll come back and buy the whole store next time.”

(I look up, caught off guard by this comment. Believing it to be a joke, I smile and nod.)

Me: “Sounds like a plan, sir.”

(The man suddenly looks offended.)

Man #1: “What? You don’t believe me? Don’t think I’ve got the money to clean you out?”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry?”

Man #1: “How do you know I’m not a millionaire? I could have the finances to buy this whole store and slap my own brand on it!”

Me: “What? What are you talking about?”

Man #1: “How would you feel, knowing you just cost this place the biggest sale ever? Why should I buy anything, now that I know it’s staffed by incompetent, judgmental d**ks?”

(I’m getting rather ticked off by this guy’s attitude, but before I can say anything, one of our regular customers comes into the store.)

Me: “Oh, good afternoon, [Regular].”

Regular: “Hey there, [My Name]! Have you got more of those [Brand] shirts I called about?”

Me: “Sure, just over there.”

Man #1: “EXCUSE ME! I’M TALKING HERE! IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT IMPORTANT PEOPLE, YOU A**?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s my job to help all customers with their queries.”

Man #1: “Yeah, well, guess what? You suck at it!” *he pulls out his wallet* “See this? There’s been over $5,000 in this at any given time, and now your store ain’t gettin’ a penny of it, because you’re a worthless s***. I’m a millionaire, and I demand respect!”

Regular: “Actually, I doubt that.”

Man #1: “What? And who are you to judge?”

(The regular customer pulls out a business card, revealing himself to be a rather well-known local entrepreneur.)

Regular Customer: “Well, last I checked, my net worth was around 4.1 million, meaning that technically, I am a millionaire. With that in mind, I can honestly tell you that anyone who actually knows how to manage money to be this successful knows that part of being a good businessman is not to insult others, or to flaunt your wealth as means of belittling them, so your behavior is highly suspect. Second off, if you’re worth as much as you say, you’d also know how insanely stupid it is to carry large amounts of cash on your person, as that makes you a prime target for thievery. Granted, you may indeed have won a lot of money, or come into it, but even so that’s no excuse for being an a**hole. Certainly you can rest assured I’m never going to want to do business with you now, if this is how you act in public!”

([Man #1] sputters and looks at the card, the color draining from his face. His friend finally leans over and speaks up.)

Man #2: “Dude, we’d better go.”

(They hurry out of the store, leaving my regular customer shaking his head.)

Me: “Wow, uh, thank you immensely! Your timing was impeccable there!”

Regular: “Don’t mention it. I run into jerks like that far too often during the course of my day. Heck, the reason I shop at places like this rather than the more upscale locations is because I usually can rest assured I won’t run into any more!”

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Checkout Etiquette Has Checked Out

, , , | Right | May 9, 2018

(I work in a higher-end clothing shop located within a national retail chain. I work for this other brand, not the retail chain that comprises the majority of the store. While both my shop and the store it’s inside use the same register system, we are generally supposed to handle our own purchases, questions, and returns, and the host store is meant to do the same. There are several registers for the host store set into the jewelry counter a few feet away. I see a customer approach my register with a cart overflowing with apparel from the host store. I’m helping a customer to my brand shop for school uniforms.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, this checkout is just for [My Brand], but you can take your purchases to the jewelry counter where they can ring you up.”

Customer: “I’m already here.” *begins loading clothing onto my small counter*

Me: “Sorry, you’re going to have to go to the [Host Store] register at the jewelry counter. I’m with a customer already, either way. There is no line at the jewelry counter.”

Customer: “Just do your d*** job and ring me up. I’m not taking all this over there.”

(She waves her hand dismissively at the mountain of clothing she’s dumped on my counter. I look at the customer I’m helping, not wanting to inconvenience her. She’s been so sweet and polite; she doesn’t deserve to have to wait for this rude woman. She smiles back at me, places her hand on my upper arm, and turns to the rude customer.)

My Customer: “Did she stutter? Take that cheap s*** over to the other counter! If you want to take up the time of a [My Brand] salesperson, you should be purchasing something from [My Brand] and not just a cartful of low-quality trash. Get over there before we have a problem!”

(I was stunned into silence. My customer turned back to me, smiled again, and looked back to the school uniform order form we were filling out together. The rude lady stormed off. My customer wound up ordering $3000 in apparel — on which I made a 5% commission, the way I make the majority of my income. I’m glad I didn’t lose her to that rude woman, even if her methods were extreme.)

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A Name That Just Rolls Off The Tongue

, , , | Right | May 8, 2018

(I take inbound calls for a national cell phone company in customer service.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

Me: “Hi, Mr. F*** You, how can I assist you today?”

Customer: *click*

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