Using Her Inside Voice

, , , , | Working | November 20, 2017

(This sandwich shop has a system where you pay extra to eat inside because there is limited seating. This is a particularly busy day, but it’s cold outside and there is a free seat, so my friend and I decide to sit inside and pay extra. Both of us are ordering sandwiches which need to be heated up before serving. We also buy a small cake and a bottled drink.)

Employee: *as she hands me my drink and change* “I’ll give you the cake in a takeaway bag just because we’re out of trays, but I’ll bring your hot sandwiches over in a second, okay?”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine.”

(We go away and sit down to wait for our food and think no more of it. We haven’t started eating the cake at this point. Two minutes later another employee, possibly the manager, storms over to us with a face like thunder.)

Manager: “Did you two girls pay to sit inside? This is a busy restaurant, you know!”

Me: “Yes, we did. We’re waiting for our hot food.”

Manager: “Are you sure about that? You don’t want to tell me anything else?”

Me: “No. We paid to sit inside.”

Manager: “I don’t believe you. You have a takeaway bag. Why would you have that if you paid to sit in?”

Me: “Yes, I have a takeaway bag, but I haven’t started eating it yet. We paid to sit inside, and the girl behind the counter gave us our cake in a takeaway bag because you were out of trays.”

Manager:Why haven’t you eaten it?! You’re taking up space!”

Me: “Because, as I explained, we are waiting for our hot food to be brought over.”

Manager: “You say that, young lady, but I don’t believe you! I’ll be watching you girls, watching you very carefully!”

(She then leaves, and my friend and I continue to wait for our food. A few minutes later the original employee who served us returns with our sandwiches.)

Server: “I’m so sorry.”

Me: “Bad day?”

Server: “I wish. She’s like that every day.”

(I understand if it’s particularly busy and you’re not sure if someone has paid, but the way she confronted us about it was totally aggressive and unnecessary!)

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That Cut Them Down To Size Quickly

, , , , , , | Right | November 18, 2017

(I am waiting for my order in a popular pizza shop. It is late and very busy. A group of rowdy teenagers have just left with a few pizzas, and one of them storms back in to yell at the cashier.)

Customer: “Hey, b****! You didn’t cut my pizza right!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I am so sorry. I can cut it properly for you.”

Customer: “No, just f****** forget it! You guys suck! You better give me some free cheese bread for all the d*** trouble you put me through! Can’t you do anything right?”

(At this point I see the pizza, and it is just a little bit uncut for one of the slices. I know the girl is only doing this to get some free food. I walk up to her.)

Me: “Do you want some bread?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Tell me how many breads you want. Name any number. How many friends do you have with you?”

Customer: “Um, there are eight of us.”

Me: *to cashier* “Please make me four orders of cheese bread and give me two liters of soda.”

(I pay for the food and hand the girl the receipt.)

Me: “Here. I know what your intentions were. How dare you yell at someone for free food? You’re worse than a beggar. Now, apologize to the nice lady, and take your food when it’s ready. I hope you feel guilty eating it.”

(By this time my order had already come out and the whole shop cheered and clapped. The teenager was red in the face and just stared at her feet the whole time her order was being made.)

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Reach For The Stars, Just Not Mine

, , , , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I’m out picking a few things up at the local supermarket when I begin to hear a woman ranting loudly at an employee. After about a minute of yelling, I go to investigate.)

Customer: “You’re going straight to Hell for wearing that kind of thing! Satanist! SATANIST!”

(The employee looks to be about 16, and is stocking some shelves. Her protests go unheard, but she is soldiering on, even though I can tell she is about to cry.)

Customer: “It’s witch-scum like you who are calling the devil into our city. You make me sick, wearing a pentagram! Devil w****! DEVIL W****!”

Employee: “Ma’am, for the last—”

(She is cut off by another burst of ranting. I start to walk over. The employee turns to me and I see that her necklace is not, in fact, a pentagram at all.)

Me: “Ma’am, that is enough. Leave this poor girl alone. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Customer: *sneering* “And what are you? Her witch-lord? Going to cast a spell on a good Christian woman like me? DEMONSPAWN!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a ‘witch-lord.’ I’m someone who can tell the difference between a pentagram and a STAR OF DAVID, which you, apparently, cannot!”

(The customer went white as a sheet and reexamined the necklace. She left, running. The employee was still near tears, but kept it together.)

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Weeding Them Out Early

, , , | Working | November 17, 2017

(I’m working a closing shift one night when a group of rowdy teenagers comes through the door. One of them approaches me:)

Teen: “Where’s the manager?”

Me: “That would be me.”

Teen: “We were just wondering: Do you have to pass a drug test to work here?”

Me: “What kind of drugs would we be testing for?”

Teen: “Weed!” *the whole group erupts in laughter, and the “spokesman” for the group high fives a few of them*

Me: “Actually, yes; there’s a brand-new policy stating that we do, in fact, have to test.”

Teen: *disheartened* “Dang.”

Me: “…”

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This Customer Isn’t Even Remotely Right

, , , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I’m checking a couple into their room when the woman informs me they’re here on a trip with their church and are “top people” in their church. She comes down from her room 30 minutes later.)

Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Guest:Remote! This isn’t working.”

Me: “Okay, let me get you fresh batteries.”

(I get her the batteries, but she comes back down ten minutes later. By now, it’s 5:00 pm and I have three guests in line I’m checking in.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you’re in room—”

Guest: *storms up to the desk, cutting in front of the line* “THIS REMOTE IS STILL NOT WORKING!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you can wait until I check this man in, I’ll get you a new remote. Or I can bring it to your room when I’m finished here.”

Guest: *doesn’t move from the desk, and is pacing back and forth and almost breathing down my neck* “This is ridiculous! I can’t believe the idiots they hire; I should be helped immediately!”

(She begins muttering profanities under her breath.)

Guest: “WHY CAN’T YOU HELP ME NOW?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m the only staff member on site for this shift, and we are at full capacity. I promise I’ll help you as soon as I can.”

Guest: “FINE. I GUESS I’LL JUST STARE AT THE CEILING!”

(She then throws her remote control at me as hard as possible. It hits my shoulder.)

Me: “I suggest you apologize, pack your things, and leave, or I’ll call the cops. You just assaulted me. I’m allowed to refuse you service now, and I think that’d be the best decision.”

(The guest laughed and walked up to her room. She was escorted out by police an hour later. Moral of the story: your employer may use the “customer is always right” motto, but if a customer insults, harasses, or attacks you, you DO have the right to refuse service. It is illegal to be forced to serve someone berating you. If employees around the world allow customers to verbally or physically attack them, then customers will always think it’s okay to do so.)

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