Their Humanity Is Not Up To The Mark

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 7, 2017

(I have a stork bite [red birthmark] on my forehead and down the side of my nose. I’m working the check-out, and am ringing up an older gentleman. Everything is going fine until…)

Customer: “You have something on your face.”

Me: “Oh, you mean my birthmark?”

(The man thinks for a bit, then leans right in and pokes me hard on my forehead.)

Customer: “That’s where God said, ‘I.’” *pokes me hard* “’Hate.’” *pokes me hard again* “’You.’” *pokes me hard one last time*

(The man then happily grabbed his purchase and walked out. I was too stunned to say anything.)

They Ruled Out Everything

, , , , , | Learning | September 7, 2017

I am a resident assistant at my college. The school is VERY particular about alcohol violations, and there is a specific way you have to handle them. For example, if we suspect that a resident is drinking in the hall, we aren’t allowed to do anything unless we physically see them drinking it. There are lots of other rules as well that are pretty common sense, such as no pets other than fish or no open flames. This group somehow managed to break almost all of them.

I was the RA on call, meaning that if there was a problem, then I was the first point of contact. I was sitting at the front desk, chatting with another RA, when she got a text from a friend who lives in the building. The friend saw some girls drinking in their room, and being loud and obnoxious. My coworker told me to go up and check on them.

When I got to the room, I noticed several things wrong. First of all, their door was wide open, so I could see right into the room. The dorms consisted of two bedrooms connected by a common area, and the door opened directly into the common area. It was a total mess, which isn’t a crime in and of itself, but there were alcohol bottles everywhere, and no residents to be seen, though I could hear them talking in another room. I knocked on the door, and one of the girls came into the common area. I informed her that she wasn’t allowed to have any alcohol bottles in her room. She insisted that it was allowed because they were just for decoration, and I told her that it was still against the rules. (You couldn’t have any alcohol or drug apparatus, even if it was completely empty and strictly decor).

At that point I called my supervisor, who showed up some time later with two Public Safety officers. Even though what we could see was restricted to the common area, the officers had to search the whole suite, just in case. While they started looking, my supervisor gathered all the girls in the common area and started to document their IDs. The whole time, they were extremely belligerent and disrespectful, and kept insisting that she had no “right” to do this.

It turns out, the situation was much more than a few empty wine bottles. The officers found several half-empty beer bottles, a pipe, and a bong WITH some weed still inside. Upon further inspection, my supervisor found a cage, out in regular view, containing several mice- definitely not an approved pet. While I was standing there waiting for them to finish, I looked over and noticed several open candles on a table as well. The cherry on the cake? They’d taken one of the floor signs, which had fallen from its place next to the stairwell, and hung it on the wall as decoration. Aside from being a rather tacky addition, it was also blatant theft of school property.

In the end, the girls were written up and given a court date. They were livid, but I had zero sympathy for them.

Cape Of Good Hope They Get Fired

, , , , | Working | September 7, 2017

(I’m the customer. I am at home, calling a travel agency on the phone. The agent who takes my call sounds middle-aged, with a strong Southern drawl.)

Me: “I’d like to get an estimate on a round-trip ticket to Cape Town.”

Agent: “Cape Town? You mean Cape Cod. That’s in Massachusetts, honey.”

Me: “No. I do not mean Cape Cod. I mean Cape Town. That is in South Africa.”

Agent: “Cape Town?! Who in heck-fire would want to go there? Are you black?!”

Me: *speechless* “Uh…”

(I hang up on her, fume for ten minutes, then call back. This time, someone else answers. I explain that I called a few minutes ago about a flight to South Africa. The new agent on the phone interrupts.)

New Agent: “Yes, ma’am. You’re interested in Cape Town. We all heard what she said, and we are so sorry. She is now in the manager’s office, and I can promise you she will be let go today. I am so, so sorry.”

(She then gave me preliminary estimates, asked for my number, and spent a day researching cheaper go-arounds, such as flying through different connecting airports in Europe, Florida, and South America. I ended up getting a very good price.)

The Number One Complaint For Pregnancy Tests

, , , | Right | September 6, 2017

(I am on break and waiting in line when this happens to my coworker.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this.” *hands over a shopping bag*

Coworker: “Sure, I can do that. Was the product defective or… uh, ma’am?” *taking an opened, somewhat drippy pregnancy test kit out*

Customer: “I didn’t get the result I wanted!”

Coworker: “Did you use this?” *already going for the hand sanitizer*

Customer: “But I’m not pregnant! It didn’t give me the result I wanted!”

Coworker: “I can’t return this.”

Customer: “Why? I should be able to return it if I’m not happy with the product.”

Coworker: “No, you cannot return products that have been… used. Especially if use involves urinating on it.”

Customer: *irately* “What should I do, then?”

Coworker: “I don’t know, maybe try again?”

(I came back from my break early so she could thoroughly sanitize and wash her hands!)

Sexism Is His Profession

, , , , | Working | September 6, 2017

(I am a business professional, and I am a woman. I am sent to a business conference in Reno, Nevada. I am not much of a gambler, but I wander around the casino while others gamble. We are all dressed for the conference, in suits and professional clothing. I decide to play some slots just a little to pass the time, and I need cash. I go to the teller window to cash a check. This is our conversation:)

Me: “Hello. I’d like to cash a check for $40 please.”

Teller: “Tell me you’re a housewife.”

Me: “Why would I tell you that I’m a housewife, when I am not?”

Teller: “Because you’re a woman. If you tell me you’re a housewife, I will assume your husband will cover this check.”

Me: “…”

Teller: “If you don’t tell me you are a housewife, I will have to ask for all kinds of ID to make sure you can cover the check.”

Me: “So, this casino would trust a fictitious husband to cover this check, but not the professional woman who is here in person.”

Teller: “Yes.”

Me: “…”

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