Getting Cagey About Buying A Pet

, , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

(I am a manager at a pet store. One day when I come back from my lunch break, another manager approaches me.)

Manager: “Hey, we kind of have a situation. There’s a family here that came in looking for hamsters, but they’re not really listening to any of us. We told them that they can’t mix different species of hamsters together, and they can’t put a hamster in with a guinea pig, but they have these two boys that both want something different.”

Me: “Can’t they buy two different cages?”

Manager: “They don’t seem really interested in doing that. I told them that they might be able to put together two hamsters that grew up together, but I don’t know. Hamsters are territorial, so it’s just not a good idea. Plus, the boys keep changing their minds on what they want, and [Employee] is kind of uncomfortable selling to them. Could you go over there and back her up? I really need to do the fish count before my shift ends.”

(I find the family with [Employee]. The family consists of two young boys and three adults who I’m guessing are the mom, dad, and grandfather.)

Me: “Hi! What are you thinking of getting today?”

Grandfather: “Well, we aren’t really sure. We were kind of thinking maybe a guinea pig?”

Boy #1: “I want a hamster.”

Boy #2: “I want a guinea pig!”

Me: “Were you guys thinking of getting two different cages?”

Grandfather: “We don’t really know. What do you think?”

Me: “Honestly, I think your best bet would be to get some of our care guides and take them home. They are free brochures that list how to take care of our different animals, so you could look over them and compare the different pets you like. That way, you’ll have time to think about it and really make sure you know which animal you want. You really don’t want to buy a pet on impulse, you know? Guinea pigs live for seven years.”

Boy #2: “Wow! That’s a long time!”

Me: “Yep! So, it’s a really big commitment.”

Dad: “We’re not going to abandon it! We take good care of our pets! We keep them until they die, and then we bury them in our yard!”

Mom: “Okay, it sounds like we need to take you boys home and really think about what animal you want, okay?”

(I figure the situation is resolved and go track down the other manager, who is visibly relieved when I tell her that I talked them out of getting a pet today. Other than the weird defensive outburst from the dad, I personally didn’t really see any red flags from the family myself, but I definitely trust my coworkers’ judgment. The family hangs around for a while. I later see them talking with [Employee] again, and they eventually leave the store empty-handed. Ten minutes later, I get paged to the front, where the mother is waiting.)

Mom: “I want to talk to a manager!”

Me: “I’m the manager. How can I help you?”

Mom: “My family came in to get a guinea pig, and everything was going fine. We had all kinds of employees coming and talking to us, and it was really good customer service. But then your employee told us that we have to buy the cage first and get the guinea pig tomorrow! Now my boy is crying in the parking lot! How are you supposed to tell a seven-year-old that he has to wait until tomorrow?”

(Right on cue, the two boys come back into the store, both dry-faced. They try to give me the puppy eyes, but it has no effect.)

Me: “Did [Employee] give you a reason why you have to get the cage first and the guinea pig tomorrow?”

Mom: “Yes! She said it was less stressful for the guinea pig to do it that way!”

Me: “She’s right! We like to recommend that people get the cage first. That way you have plenty of time to set it up and have it ready, so the pet isn’t stuck in a box for a long time–“

Mom: “I’ve never heard of that! You know what? We’ll just take our business elsewhere!”

(She ushers out her two boys, looking furious that I sided with my employee over her. Another ten minutes later, the dad comes in.)

Dad: “Where’s the other manager? The one who was counting fish?”

Me: “She went home half an hour ago. I’m the only manager left today.”

(He walks out, and the family finally leaves our parking lot. My dog trainer, who overheard my conversation with the mom, later approaches me.)

Dog Trainer: “You know the answer to her question? The one about how to tell a seven-year-old that he can’t have a guinea pig today?” *squats down until she’s eye-level with an imaginary child* “NO!”

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Wrote The Book On Bad Customer Service

, , , , , | Working | November 29, 2017

(My family and I are doing some grocery shopping. As my sisters and I are not big fans of walking around department stores, we go to the book aisle to read until our parents are done. We’ve been doing this since we were little kids and have never had a problem before. As we’re sitting there with our books, this irate-looking woman in a store uniform comes marching over to us.)

Employee: “You can’t do that here!”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “You can’t read these books!”

Younger Sister: “Well, then how are we supposed to know if they’re worth buying?”

Employee: “YOU HAVE TO BUY THEM FIRST! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO READ THESE BOOKS!”

(We all just stare blankly at her, pulling our youngest sister a little closer to us as we’re a bit concerned by this woman. She flounces off and we go back to our books as if nothing happened.)

Younger Sister: “I won’t know if the book is worth buying if I don’t read at least a little of it.”

Youngest Sister: “Do you think she knows books are supposed to be read?”

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Getting Checked Out At Check Out

, , , , , , | Romantic | November 29, 2017

(A random guy walks up to my register and winks before I’ve even said anything.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Is this all today?”

Customer: “Are you for sale?” *winks*

Me: “No.” *starts ringing up items*

Customer: “Too bad. I’d buy you in a heartbeat.”

Me: “Your total is $23.37.”

Customer: “Can you make change? I know money is a hard thing for girls.” *laughs*

Me: *bites tongue, hands him his change* “Thank you. Have a good day.”

Customer: “So, when can I take you on a date?”

Me: “Not interested.”

Customer: *winks* “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

Me: “Not interested, and engaged.” *calling to person behind him* “Can I help the next guest?”

Customer: “No! You aren’t, you lying b****! You’re not wearing any ring!”

Me: *pulls out ring on necklace* “Yes, I am. They don’t let us wear rings because they rip the gloves. Next guest, please!”

Customer: “Oh. Well, look me up if you two break up, sugar.” *winks and walks off*

Next Customer: *as she comes up to my register* “What an a**hole.”

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Returner Burner Until Burning Point

, , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

(I take my father to lunch. He likes to complain about every little thing in the hopes that he can get a new meal along with the “defective” meal. He has sent back his perfectly fine, well-prepared meal, twice.)

Server: “Let me just get these out of the way, and we will have your correct order up in a few minutes.”

Dad: “Leave them. I can feed them to the dog.”

Server: “F*** you.”

Dad: “What did you just say?!”

Server: “I said, ‘F*** you!’ You try to pull this s*** every time you are in here!”

Dad: “I want to speak to a manager—”

Server: *cutting him off* “I AM THE F****** MANAGER, AND TODAY IS MY LAST DAY! All bets are off. So, as acting manager, for the rest of my two hours left working for this company, I am hereby barring you permanently from this establishment. Now f*** off!”

(Applause erupts from the kitchen as Dad makes a run for the door. The server stops me as I slink away, and then hands me Dad’s food along with mine.)

Server: “You take this. On the house. And you are welcome back here any time, as long as you promise not to share any with him.”

(I never saw that server again, but Dad never tried to weasel his way into a free meal after that. The last day on the job is obviously the best day.)

 

Related:

Returner Burner, Part 7

Returner Burner, Part 6

Returner Burner, Part 5

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Good Thing They Didn’t Weight Any Longer

, , , , , , | Working | November 28, 2017

(I am about ten years old. My family has just returned from a two-week vacation and my mom, sister, and I are picking up our dog from a boarding kennel. Though we have boarded her many times before, this is the first time using this particular facility. When the employee brings out our dog, she is noticeably thinner.)

Mom: “How come she looks so thin?”

Employee: “She ran out of food.”

(My mom left some food with her when we dropped her off, assuming it would last.)

Mom: “You didn’t feed her? Why didn’t someone call me? You could have bought more and charged it to me. This is ridiculous!”

Employee: “Ma’am, you should have left more food with her. You only gave her enough to last a week and a half.”

Mom: “She’s been without food for three days?! Look. I’m sorry. I thought I had enough, but surely someone could have called or something. There was no reason for her to starve!”

(My mom paid and left. We subsequently weighed the dog and found that she had lost three pounds; a lot for a 17-pound dog. I know my mom made a mistake, but they at least could have called or fed the dog and charged us when we picked her up. I’m not sure, but my mom may have reported them. We certainly never returned there.)

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