When I was sixteen, I was working at a burger place at the local fair, and I was working a concert night. My booth was right between the beer garden and concert stands, so we had a lot of concertgoers stop and get food. Mind you, Saturday night is normally super busy, but add a huge concert to that… and it’s awful.

We had chicken and fish strip sandwiches that were pretty good. I had this couple that ordered one of each. The fish came out first.

Customer: “Why isn’t my chicken sandwich coming out?”

Me: “The chicken strips are denser, so they take a little longer to cook. It should only be about a minute left now.”

The man started screaming at me.

Customer: “You stupid, lazy b****! I want my sandwich!”

I started getting anxious and tearing up because I was a sixteen-year-old girl. My manager came over, told me to go take a break in the kitchen, and just let this guy have it.

I couldn’t believe this forty-five-year-old man screamed in my face because I told him chicken took longer to cook.

In my teenage years, I worked as a sales assistant for a chain of well-known garden and DIY stores in the UK. After a year, I was unofficially promoted to a pseudo-supervisor role (i.e. I was meant to supervise the checkout workers but I wasn’t paid more for doing this) which gave me a chance to observe some of the events of the one week [Coworker] lasted between his being hired and being fired.

[Coworker] was the sort of guy who seemed to fit the stereotype of a teenage stoner almost perfectly. His behaviour was bizarre and he had no filter talking to customers. He wasn’t exactly hostile, but put it this way: anything that you might have dreamed about being able to say to customers he would just say. Here are a few examples of some of the events.

Event 1:

[Coworker] was caught on video standing in an aisle staring at a pack of lightbulbs for half an hour.

Event 2:

A customer asked [Coworker] to help them find an item, but as he was still learning the layout and products, he was struggling a little. The customer made some sort of comment. 

Coworker: “Find it yourself, then.”

And he walked off.

Event 3:

I was working the returns desk and put out a general call for an assistant to help answer a telephone query. [Coworker] answered the phone (which, unfortunately, was located at the returns desk), spoke to the customer for a few minutes, and then said:

Coworker: “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

He then slammed the phone down and marched off before I could ask him what was said, which meant that I had to deal with the matter when the extremely angry customer called back a few moments later.

Event 4 — the one that actually got him fired:

[Coworker] came in for a morning shift and then disappeared. Multiple calls were put out for him, but nobody knew where he had gone. Then, after about half an hour, I saw him storming back out the front door with his coat on, followed a few paces behind by one of the managers. I asked what was going on and was told that [Coworker] had come in, clocked in, and then gone upstairs for a nap in the staff room instead of starting work.

Why he thought he could get away with that, I don’t know, but it seemed like a fittingly bizarre end to his week with us.

This is back in the late 1990s or early 2000s. My parents and I had just moved into this new town. Dad worked at this big local bank, and as a bonus to his promotion (part of the reason why we moved), Dad was given a nice townhouse downtown from the bank at a very cheap price. The house had been confiscated by the bank since the previous owner couldn’t pay his debts and bailed.

A few weeks after we moved in, we got a call at midnight. It woke everyone up, and Dad picked up the phone.

Dad: “Hello?”

Drunk Caller: “Pick a number… pick a number…”

Dad: *Confused* “Excuse me?”

Drunk Caller: “Pick a number… pick a number…”

Dad: “Who is this?”

Drunk Caller: “Come on, man, this is [Drunk Caller]. Now pick a number.”

Dad: “Sorry, you have the wrong number.”

Drunk Caller: “Oh… Okay…” *Click*

This continued for weeks and Dad got increasingly annoyed every time this caller called again and again, even when we told him that he had the wrong number. When we asked around, we found out that the previous owner of our house was a well-known gambling addict and was known to be rowdy late into the night. Dad concluded that the drunk caller was one of his gambling buddies and didn’t know his friend had fled the town.

We got a call from the drunk gambler dude again, and Dad told him that the previous owner of this house was no longer living here.

Drunk Caller: “Oh… okay. Now pick a number.”

Dad: *Angrily* “Don’t call this number again!” *Click*

Unfortunately, the guy kept calling, no matter how many times we told him that his gambling buddy doesn’t live here anymore. He kept repeating the same words over and over each call.

Finally, Dad had enough when we got another call from the same guy one night.

Dad: *Gruffly* “Evening.”

Drunk Caller: “Pick a number… pick a number…”

Dad: *Imitating a deep authoritative voice* “This is the Precinct Police Station of [Town]. Who are you?”

Drunk Caller: “Pick a numb— Wait, what?”

Dad: “Are you deaf? You have called the Precinct Police Station of [Town]! Now state your purpose or I’ll charge you for wasting my time!”

Drunk Caller: “Ah! I’m sorry! Sorry!” *Click*

Dad: “That’s what I thought.”

Needless to say, we didn’t get another call from that guy again.

CONTENT WARNING: ANIMAL DEATH

We have an office fish. Since we don’t work weekends, we take turns coming in and feeding the fish over the weekend. We all came back after it was [Coworker]’s weekend to feed only to find the fish belly-up.

Me: “Um… what happened to the fish? It was your weekend.”

Coworker: “Yeah, and I fed him. See?”

He reaches behind the tank for the fish food and accidentally pulls out an unplugged cord. He quickly tries to put the cord back. 

Me: “What is that?”

Coworker: “Nothing.”

Me: “That’s his tank heater! Did you unplug it?”

Coworker: “No.”

I pull the thermometer from the tank and see that the water is barely forty degrees. California is warm most of the time, but nights can get pretty cold.

Me: “It’s a tropical fish! You unplugged the heater on a tropical fish.”

Coworker: “We are in California! He doesn’t need it!”

Me: “Clearly, he did, because you froze him to death. When did you do that?”

Coworker: “I don’t know.”

Me: “And he just died last night?”

Coworker: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Was the fish alive when you came to feed it Saturday? Sunday?”

Coworker: “I was busy this weekend. I don’t have time to feed a d*** fish.”

Me: “So… you unplugged the heater on Friday, didn’t tell anyone you weren’t going to be able to take care of the fish like you said you would—”

Coworker: “Well, yeah, but—”

Me: “And then you lied when I asked if you fed it and tried to hide that you killed it.”

Coworker: “You don’t get to interrogate me about a f****** fish, [My Name].”

He walks a few feet away and then turns back.

Coworker: *Yelling* “What kind of fish needs a f****** heater, anyway?!”

Coworker #2: “That one, obviously. Good job, fish killer.”

[Coworker] went to management to complain that we were harassing him. Management took neutral ground because, while the fish was technically work property, it was not a work requirement to come in on weekends. I understand their position, but I also don’t trust [Coworker]’s honesty anymore.

I’m called in to help support a meeting with an angry employee taking out his frustrations on Human Resources. I get there a little early to see what the issue is. It turns out that [Employee] has been demanding a meeting because he claims that he hasn’t been paid overtime. He has already been sent away twice because of his aggressive attitude, so they’ve asked me to sit in to ensure things don’t get out of hand.

[Employee] turns up, slams the door shut, and sits down.

HR Representative: “This is [My Name]; he works with me and knows more about the wages and the clocking-in system.”

Employee: “Oh! Ganging up on me?!”

Me: “Nothing like that. We want to ensure that you get your issue sorted, and I think I might be able to help.”

Employee: “Whatever, I just want my money!”

Me: “Okay, so how much do you think you are owed?”

Employee: “I don’t think! I know! I haven’t been paid for fifty hours this year!”

[Employee] is paid hourly. I’m not sure how he has accumulated fifty hours of extra pay, especially when overtime is being cracked down on massively.

Me: “Okay, wow. Sure, I can see why you are annoyed. Do you have the hours when you haven’t been paid?”

Employee: “Well, it’s all on my time card. You can check there!”

Me: *Sigh* “Help us out, [Employee]. You must have gotten the number of hours from somewhere.”

Employee: “For f***’s sake, I’m doing your job for you again!”

I bite my tongue and let him storm out. It’s several more days before the next meeting. He arrives again, this time with a stack of papers.

Employee: “I did it — did your job! See, every page.”

Me: “[Employee], it isn’t the role of HR to review your pay. It’s finance, okay? We are here to help.”

Employee: “Fat lot of help so far.”

Me: “Let’s just go through your papers.”

Every page has a week of his hours. He has highlighted every day he was early one, two, or five minutes. Adding these up throughout the year, I can see how he has amassed fifty hours.

Me: “Okay, [Employee], I’m not going through all of them. Can you tell me how you apply for overtime?”

Employee: “I fill out the form and put it in at the end of the week.”

Me: “Did you do it for any of these times?”

Employee: “Well, no, but—”

Me: *Interrupting* “And did anyone ask you to come in early?”

Employee: “Well, no, but I was working! I should get paid!”

I told him that we don’t pay just because someone decides to come in early when they haven’t been asked to do. He stormed off, threatening to quit, along with a long list of expletives.

When I told his boss this, he was shocked; [Employee] had more warnings than anyone for being late at his station. He must have been rushing to clock in and then going straight to the break room until someone told him to start work.

[Employee] didn’t get into any trouble then, but he was fired over some other issue not long after.