When Grammar Nazi Jokes Are Inappropriate

, , , , | Learning | September 19, 2017

(I am in a German class. My teacher is very old, and is supposed to have retired a couple of years earlier, and even has a bad reputation for slacking among the other teachers.)

Teacher: “You guys are lucky I like you. Back when I was teaching at [Different School] I had one class with a lot of students I didn’t like, so I taught them the wrong grammar on purpose.”

Uses High-Smug Fuel

, , , | Right | September 19, 2017

(It is back in the days when gas station attendants pump gas for you, and gas is only 40¢ per gallon. It’s a hot summer day. The station is on a superhighway, so we get customers from all over the world, and our orders can vary widely. A customer drives up to the pump, but will not roll down his window. He wildly gesticulates, waving five fingers at me.)

Me: *speaking loudly at the window* “Five dollars or five gallons, sir?”

Customer: *continues to wave his hand at me*

Me: “Five dollars or five gallons, sir?”

Customer: *continues to wave his hand at me*

Me: “Five dollars or five gallons, sir?”

(The customer finally rolls down the window:)

Customer: “Five dollars.”

(He then quickly rolls the window back up.)

Me: *smugly* “Regular or high-test, sir?”

You’ve Been Face-Booked

, , , | Working | September 18, 2017

(I have gone into my mobile network’s store about an issue with my phone. The woman serving me has asked to look at it. She has had it for about a minute when:)

Me: “Why are you on my Facebook?”

Employee: *not taking her eyes off my phone screen* “I’m not, sir. Why would you suggest such thing?”

Me: “I can see my dog reflecting in your glasses. It’s my current profile picture.”

(The woman freezes and quickly hands my phone back.)

Employee: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Me: “Getting me your manager?”

No Recouping For Rudeness

, , , | Right | September 18, 2017

(I am working the register just after Christmas. Since there is a lull, I step onto the floor to help a woman looking at the jeans that are marked down.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, do you need any help finding anything?”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: *trying to be nice, about to offer the woman a store coupon for 20% off her purchase* “Well, we have some more of these jeans on the wall and—”

Customer: “Mind your own business! I’m from out of town!”

(The woman continued to rant about nosy store employees and walked off. I never once asked where she was from. Needless to say, she didn’t get the coupon.)

Good Thing The School Stuck To Its Guns

, , , , | Learning | September 18, 2017

I am a teenager living in a very quiet town in southern Canada. Near the end of the semester, I was sitting in class when the PA system came on, which it rarely does. It announced that the school was now on lock-down, and nobody was allowed to leave their classrooms for any reason.

Every so often, we received vague updates of the situation, and were able to figure out that someone had been seen in the area carrying a gun. The lock-down didn’t last long, and was lifted before the bell for the next class rang, with no explanation given. For the rest of the day, everyone was chatting about it, wondering what happened.

It turned out that someone had been moving house, and instead of putting their hunting rifle in a gun safe (or even, you know, a BOX), he went through town with it in plain view, scaring a lot of people. Since our school is only a block away from the main road through town, which he was using, it triggered lock-down procedures.

Page 310/346First...308309310311312...Last