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Refusing To Steal Away For Them

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2023

I’m a volunteer in a charity shop. We’ve recently had a fair amount of theft, and we’ve started checking the shop regularly to see if we can see a pattern. We can. There always seems to be something missing right after a visit by two mums, each with a small child in a pushchair.

Our manager starts joining us in checking the shop, and on one occasion discovers several empty spots which were definitely filled before they came in. She’s now asked us to keep a particular eye on them next time they come in, as she knows they are the thieves but has absolutely no concrete proof as she hasn’t actually seen them take anything.

It’s a very quiet day and we haven’t had many customers. I spot a familiar pair coming through the door, so I head toward them.

Me: “Hi. Can I help you find anything today?”

Them: “No, thanks. We’re just looking.”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine.”

And I stay right there next to them. As they walk around the shop, I follow them. I’m not even pretending to tidy up, or look busy. I’m just watching them. They start to look annoyed.

Mum #1: “Are you watching us?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mum #2: “What? Why? We’re just looking!”

Me: “That’s fine. You can carry on browsing. Take all the time you need; don’t let me rush you.”

Mum #1: “Are you just going to keep watching us?

Me: “Yes.”

Mum #1: *Getting angry* “Why? Huh? What do you think we’re going to do?”

Me: “I hope you’re just going to look around and see if there’s anything you want to buy.”

Mum #2: *Also angry* “Well, you can’t just follow us! That’s rude! Why don’t you go and find something to do instead of harassing us?”

Me: “Well, we’ve found a lot of things go mysteriously missing from the shop, so we need to keep an eye on things.”

Mum #1: “Are you accusing us of stealing?

Me: “Nope. I’m watching you to make sure you don’t have the chance.”

Mum #2:Are you serious? I’m going to get you fired!

Me: “Go ahead and try. My manager’s over there. She asked me to keep an eye on you. And I’m a volunteer, so I don’t get paid anyway and I couldn’t care less if I get fired.”

Mum #1: “F*** you! F*** you all! we’re never coming back!”

Me: “Oh, good. Bye-bye.”

They stormed out, and we haven’t seen them since. My manager was staring at me with her mouth open. She said she couldn’t believe what I’d said to them, but she was so pleased to see the back of them!

And no, I wasn’t fired. She bought us all cakes that afternoon.

Yikes On Bikes, This We Do Not Likes

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2023

I was working seasonally at a department store. One night, there was a dude who was super high in the store right before closing, and I had to tell him to bring his stuff up front.

He proceeded to ask me personal questions, and he learned my name from my tag. When he was checking out, he told my coworker that I was pretty cute.

An hour later, when I was leaving, the guy was sitting in his car in the first spot by the door, and he waved me over to get into his car.

I went back inside and talked to the closing manager.

Closing Manager: “Oh, I know that guy. He’s harmless.”

I was seventeen!

Some Sports Fans Need To CHILL, Part 2

, , , , , , , , , , | Friendly | January 28, 2023

While visiting family in Phoenix, we went to a Diamondbacks baseball game. At the time, the team wore uniforms in teal and purple. We didn’t have any Diamondbacks gear, so we just planned to wear whatever teal or purple we had. Another fan sitting a row or two behind us must have had the same idea; she was wearing a purple shirt from a college football team a few states away.

Apparently, this was a great offense to a fan of the visiting team a row in front of us. He took it upon himself to berate the woman for wearing the “wrong color purple.” True, her shirt was a deeper purple, but it was ridiculous how much he cared or that he even noticed. The two started arguing back and forth, and suddenly, the man threw his (plastic, fortunately) beer bottle at the woman.

The fan next to her deftly caught it just before it hit her in the face and immediately threw it back right where it came from, beaning the man right on the head.

Ballpark security arrived then and ejected the man. They must have been okay with the shade of the woman’s shirt; she was allowed to stay. Even better, the visiting fan’s team lost, too.

Some Sports Fans Need To CHILL

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish Questions

, , , , , , | Right | January 27, 2023

I work in a pet store as an assistant manager, and I am also in charge of the aquatics department. Most of my shifts leave me as the “manager on duty” because I close, and the manager opens or works mid-shift. The general manager, district manager, and I are all female; the only male manager for the store is the warehouse manager, and he does not outrank me when it comes to selling any of the animals, including feeders.

I’m working on stocking when a woman asks for some fish. She’s acting a little weird but nothing too out of the ordinary.

Customer: “I want that plant.”

Me: Okay, are you getting anything else tonight?”

Customer: “Yes.”

I wait an excessive amount of time for her to continue.

Me: “Okay, so, more plants, or do you want fish, too?”

Customer: “I want fish.”

I again wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t.

Me: “Okay, how big is your tank?”

The look on her face goes from pleasantly blank to irate.

Customer: “You can’t ask me that!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “That’s a violation of my privacy!”

I am confused, wondering if maybe she misheard me or I misspoke.

Me: “Uh, I can’t ask you how big your fish tank is?”

Customer:No! That is a violation of my privacy! You don’t need to know anything about my home! You just need to sell me fish!”

Me: “Well, I can’t sell you fish if I don’t know how big a tank you have.”

Customer: “Why do you need to know how big my tank is?!”

Me: “I need to know if you’ve got enough space for the fish you want, to make sure you’re not overstocking it and risking the fish you intend to buy — and any you already own — dying by crashing your cycle adding too much. Also, some of our fish get up to two feet long and weigh up to and possibly over ten pounds. Fish can also get aggressive if they don’t have enough space to create their own territory, especially if there are pre-existing fish in the tank.

Customer: “You can’t ask me questions! I’ve talked to people! They said you aren’t allowed to ask me that question! They said you just have to sell me fish! They said I just tell you what I want and you give it to me!”

Me: “I don’t know who ‘they’ is, but I’m allowed to refuse a sale if I’m not comfortable with it. These are live animals, and it’s my job to make sure they get an appropriate home. No one you’ve ‘spoken’ to is going to tell you anything different.”

Customer: “Where is the manager?! This is an outrage! I’ve talked to corporate, and they told me you can’t ask me questions and that you have to sell me fish!”

Me: “I’m the manager.”

Customer: “No, you aren’t! I know the manager! He says you can’t do any of this! He’s going to sell me fish! Go get him!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you can’t answer the most basic questions, I’m not going to feel comfortable with this sale. I’ve asked you the most basic question, one that any and all fish stores should ask before even considering a sale, and I would have asked you even more before selling you fish because I decide who gets them and who doesn’t.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! What qualifies you to outrank me?! I have sixty years of experience raising, breeding, and selling fish! I know you don’t have that much experience!”

She then proceeds to ask me rapid-fire questions about my fish experience and what qualifies me to ask questions without giving me a chance to answer any of them.

Me: “Ma’am, do you want me to answer any of those questions?”

Customer: “I’m just trying to prove my point about how invasive your questioning has been.”

Me: “Ma’am, I work here. That makes me qualified to sell animals, and I may not have sixty years of experience, but I don’t need that to know you shouldn’t belittle the person doing a service for you. Also, you asked me thirteen questions, all of which I’m willing to answer, while I’ve asked you one, which you’ve refused. So, I’m just going to refuse to sell you fish and hope you have the night you deserve.”

She stormed to the front of the store and asked my coworker if he could get her fish. When he said he’d get the fish person, me, she screamed and stormed out of the store promising to complain directly to corporate about me.


, , , , , , | Working | January 27, 2023

My uncle used to be a general manager at a fast food chain in a large metropolitan area, and he has many stories from decades of working with them.

This particular story takes place around 2006, shortly after [Uncle]’s assistant manager leaves the company to be with her son in England.

[Uncle] is ready to promote one of the shift managers from within when the district manager tells him that another manager is transferring to his store and that he does not need to promote anybody.

The new manager arrives a couple of days later and proves to be a headache for [Uncle] almost immediately. She is extremely toxic and almost never speaks without yelling. Constant complaints come in from the other workers about [New Manager]’s toxicity, and numerous write-ups appear on several employees’ files, the majority of which [Uncle] decides to throw out due to them having bogus or false reasons.

On [New Manager]’s fourth day, [Uncle] comes in and notices that the shift manager he originally intended to promote prior to her arrival is not there.

Uncle: “Where’s [Shift Manager]?”

New Manager: “Oh, her? I fired her.”

Uncle: *Taken aback* “You what?!

New Manager: “I fired her.”

Uncle: “What do you mean, you fired her?”

New Manager: “I. Fired. Her.”

Uncle: *Sigh* “We need to talk. Right now.”

[Uncle] drags [New Manager] to the office. She has a smug grin on her face the whole time, to [Uncle]’s irritation.

Uncle: “[New Manager], what the f*** is going on?”

New Manager: “I told you already, I fired [Shift Manager]!”

Uncle: “I understand that you fired her. Why did you fire her?”

New Manager: “Because I felt like firing her.”

Uncle: “Very funny. Tell me why you actually fired her.”

New Manager: *Smugly* “Because I felt like firing her — that’s why!”

Uncle: *Facepalming* “Jesus Christ, [New Manager]. You cannot just fire my employees at the—”

New Manager: “It’s called at-will employment. I can fire anyone here at any time I like for any reason or no reason. I could fire [Shift Manager #2] for being a [Local NFL Team] fan if I wanted to! I could even—”

Uncle: “Enough. I know what at-will employment is, but it only works if you follow—”

New Manager: “Nope. I can fire every employee in this store just for the h*** of it if I want to. The law says I can. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

She crosses her arms and smirks triumphantly at [Uncle], who rolls his eyes.

Uncle: “You know what? There is actually one thing I can do. You’re fired.”

New Manager: “Wait, what? You can’t fire me!”

Uncle: “Actually, yes, I can. Like you said, [New Manager], at-will employment — I can fire you for any reason at any time. And I do have a very valid reason in this case. I have three, in fact: toxicity, insubordination, and willful violation of the company’s termination policy. Now, as I was going to tell you before you interrupted me twice, you cannot just fire people at the drop of a hat here at [Restaurant]. You have to follow the company’s established protocols. And no, at-will employment does not override a business’ termination protocols. You of all people should know this, [New Manager], because you were sent here in the first place for wrongfully firing someone at [Other Location], and now that you’ve done it again, it’s cost you your job.”

New Manager: “But—”

Uncle: “And before you argue that I’m wrongfully firing you, consider the fact that not only were you fired for three very valid reasons, but you were already on your last chance when you arrived not even half a week ago. That was a chance you were extremely lucky to have gotten at all considering that violating termination policy is normally fireable on its own. Go clean out your locker. You can drop off your uniform tomorrow when you pick up your final paycheck.”

[New Manager] stormed out in a huff. [Uncle] called [Shift Manager] and told her she was not fired and could come back the following day.

He got a call from the district manager later that day asking how [New Manager] was doing and told her what happened. The district manager laughed and said that she wasn’t at all surprised that [New Manager] wasted her last chance as quickly as she did and that she wouldn’t be trying that experiment again anytime soon.

[Uncle] formally promoted [Shift Manager] the day after that, and then he handed the reins to her when he retired twelve years later. [Shift Manager] is still there to this day, as friendly as ever, and always greets my uncle when he stops by for lunch.