Tag, You’re It

, , , | Right | October 16, 2018

(I am working as the fitting room attendant. My job is to count garments as people come in, hand them a tag with the number, and count them again as they leave with the tag as a reference. This particular day I have a lady with a single item come through. As she leaves, she shows me her single item, but does not return the tag to me.)

Me: “Do you have your number?”

Customer: “It’s in there.”

Me: “Could you go grab it for me real quick?”

Customer: “You want me to walk all the way back in there?!”

Me: “Yes, please?”

Customer: *stares at me in disbelief for a moment* “You want me to walk all the way back in there?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

Customer: “I only had one item. I’m showing you the one item.”

Me: “I still need the tag back.”

Customer: “But you see my one item. Why do you need the tag back if you see my one item?”

(I am thinking, “A: Do you know how many people I see in a day? Do you really think I remember what you had? B: So I don’t have to clean up after you.”)

Me: “Everybody has to bring the tags back out. That’s just the procedure.”

(She steps around to read the sign with the check-in procedure which, admittedly, tells customers to hang their items so I can count them on the way in, but does not actually tell them anything about me checking them back out.)

Customer: “This doesn’t say I have to bring the tag back.”

Me: “No, it doesn’t, but I do need to you bring it back to me.”

Customer: “You didn’t tell me I needed to bring it back. Why didn’t you tell me I needed to bring it back?”

Me: “I thought it was kind of obvious.”

Customer: “I want to see where it’s written that I have to bring the tag back out.”

Me: “Do you want to see a copy of the fitting room handbook?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *pauses* “Okay.” *on radio* “[Manager], I have a lady here who would like to see a copy of the fitting room handbook to see where it is written that she needs to bring the number tag back out of the fitting room.”

Manager: *on radio* “Do you need me to come back there?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

Manager: *sighs* “Okay, give me a sec.”

Me: *to the customer* “He’s on his way.”

Customer: “I’m not trying to be petty with you. But I think you’re being petty with me.”

Me: “I’m not being petty with you. Everyone has to bring the tag back out.”

Customer: “I can’t believe that you want me to go all the way back in there to get the tag out. I think you’re being petty with me.”

Me: “I’m really not. Everyone has to bring the tags back out.”

(As I say this, a gentleman comes out of the fitting room with his single item, which did not fit, hands me the shirt, and starts to walk away.)

Me: “Sir, do you have your number?”

Customer #2: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. I forgot.”

(He immediately goes back into the fitting room to get his tag for me. As I place the tag back in its holder, I resist the urge to ask the lady, “Now was that freaking hard?” Instead, I turn to her and smile.)

Me: “Everyone.”

(While we wait a minute longer for the manager, she ends up going get the tag, still grumbling about me being petty with her, then mutters something about not waiting, and starts to walk away just as the manager comes down the aisle. I call after her that this is the manager, and they have a conversation just out of my earshot. After she leaves, the manager comes over the radio again.)

Manager: “Some people just…. are so stupid they just…” *devolves into a string of curse words*

A Penny For Your Stupid Thoughts

, , , | Right | October 14, 2018

(I am a manager in the freezer/cooler section of a big box retail company. A woman approaches me with a display model of an electric griddle and the display model’s tag, which lists its price as one cent. I already know this will be trouble.)

Customer: “Is this item really a penny?”

Me: “Well, yes, ma’am. However, that is the non-working display. It has no power cord, and the lid doesn’t open. That tag is for store use, in case we need to order a replacement display.”

Customer: *suddenly screaming and furious* “I don’t understand what you’re saying! I ain’t got no fancy education. I ain’t graduated no f****** high school! That don’t make no f****** sense!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a display, an example, so you can see the product before you buy it. Sometimes they break or get stolen, so we have a tag to order new ones.”

Customer: *still screaming* “Well, that’s f****** stupid! If I want to see the g**d*** griddle I’m going to tear that f****** box open! How can you f****** put things out you don’t sell?! Can I buy this for a penny or f****** not?!”

Me: “No, ma’am, it’s not for sale. Even if you buy it, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t do anything.”

(The customer stomps away. I think that will be the end of it, but I hear her a few aisles over, still screaming.)

Customer: “No, they won’t f****** sell it! They’re trying to scam me! They’re a bunch of f****** shysters!”

(About ten minutes later, the whole scene repeated at the checkout when she tried to buy it anyway.)

A Busload Of Entitlement

, , , | Right | October 13, 2018

(I overhear this from the back of my private school bus. The company runs a public service, also. We pass a broken-down bus from the same company, and they hail us down.)

Customer: “Excuse me. We need to get on this bus. I need to be at my job in five minutes.”

(The nearest bus stop is over 15 minutes away.)

Bus Driver: “Sorry, madam, but this is a school bus to [School]. You can’t be on here for safety regulations.”

Customer: *getting irate and red faced* “Don’t make a fool of me, young man. You are going to let me on this bus; it clearly says, ‘[Bus Company],’ on the side of the bus.”

Bus Driver: *trying to stay polite* “I know, madam, but I cannot let you on to this bus; you need to wait for the next public bus to get on.”

Customer: *barges past driver with smug face* “Well, you have to take me now; otherwise, all these children will be late for school!”

Bus Driver: “Madam, please get off the bus; I need to take the bus elsewhere.”

Customer: “No, and if I’m any later for my job and get fired, I’ll come here and steal yours, just like you steal jobs from the good English people of my country.”

(The bus driver is of foreign descent.)

Bus Driver: *reluctantly* “Fine, you can stay on the bus.”

(The woman stayed on until her stop and left, but not before flipping off the bus driver.)

Needs To Do A Self-Check On Yourself

, , , , | Right | October 13, 2018

(My coworker and I are working at the self-checkouts. Our self-checkouts are located next to a deli and eating area that are separated from the checkouts by a half-wall. It is a busy Saturday morning and there are a lot of people eating breakfast in the deli. A customer and his wife are using the self-checkouts. When there is a weight issue with the machines, it takes about a second for the issue to register on our computers that control the checkouts; items won’t scan unless the issue is cleared. A weight issue just appeared on our screen when…)

Customer: “HEY! Can’t you see we need help?!”

(My coworker rushes over to see that it is a weight problem. He then starts to walk back to our computer to clear the issue.)

Customer: “Don’t you walk away from me!”

(My coworker clears the issue and goes back to the customer to explain what happened. A few people eating in the deli start to notice the man’s behavior.)


(Now everyone notices this guy and starts staring at him. He starts to slam his items on the self-checkout’s scanner.)

Customer:  “Your d*** machines don’t work!”

(As soon as I start to go over to try to help, a different customer who just came in the door asks where the store’s copy machine is. I try to give him directions amidst the other customers ranting and raving. My coworker attempts to show the man what the problem is and how to not have it happen again.)

Customer: “Don’t you tell me what to do! You fix the d*** thing! I can’t help it if it doesn’t work!”

(The customer and his wife head towards the exits when a customer who was eating at the deli comes over to the wall.)

Customer #2: “Hey buddy! You don’t get good service by being a p***k to people. You’re a douche.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah.”

(After that incident, a few people came up to us and told us that they wanted to say something to the guy but were too afraid. One lady said she wanted to do a citizen’s arrest on him!)

Attitude At Altitude

, , | Right | October 12, 2018

(A woman is frantically moving up and down the aisle of the plane. We still have two hours to go.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Can you please sit down? We are experiencing turbulence.”

Passenger: “I don’t care about your f****** turbulence. I need to get out of this plane!”

Me: “Do you mind me asking why?”

Passenger: “We’re right over New York! We’re going to get bombed by Isis!”

Me: “What?!”

Passenger: “Stop the plane!”

(After the flight she was detained and interrogated regarding a bomb threat.)

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