I’ve recently started working at a company that provides assistive technology to deaf people. I’m hearing, but I’ve already learned how to sign a few common expressions, like “good morning.” During our morning meeting, this exchange happens.

Me: *Signing* “Good morning!”

Hearing Coworker: “So, this is the sign for ‘morning’?” *Repeats the sign*

Me: “Yup.”

Hearing Coworker: “Not this?” *Does a similar sign*

Me: “Nope.” *To my deaf coworkers* “What does this mean?” *Repeats the similar sign*

Deaf Coworker: “Talk to Human Resources.”

At that moment, I remembered that sign meant, “F*** you!”

This happened about twenty-five years ago and I still think of it about once a month.

My dad used to think of himself as a fancy, business-type gentlefellow. We’d go to restaurants and he’d try to order off-menu, at like a chain restaurant. He wouldn’t wash his hands before we ate; he’d have the waitstaff bring him lemons and then rinse his hands in lemon juice because I guess that’s what fancy people do. It always took several attempts to seat us because he’d walk around the place trying to find a place to sit worthy of his time. He was insufferable. And as a little kid, it turned me into a walking apology for his behavior.

One weekend, we went to get dinner, just him and me, and he went through all of his usual behavior. But he was actually in a pretty good mood, so I had high hopes. Unfortunately, as soon as the waitress started taking our drink order, he found out that they were out of real cream for his coffee.

He didn’t swear or raise his voice, because that’s what the common people did, but he laid right into this poor woman about the sheer temerity of running a restaurant and not having the ability to meet the basic needs of your customers and then trying to smooth things over with cheap, fake products like non-dairy creamers. He suggested that she was trying to make him sick by feeding him some sort of chemical swill. I remember her exact face as she just stared at him and took it, not knowing what to say. It haunts me.

My dad ended up just ordering an appetizer and she left politely… and never returned. He and I sat in that booth for thirty or forty minutes until the manager finally came out and went table to table explaining that the waitress had quit suddenly. My dad was, of course, offended, and the manager, of course, offered to give us our meal for free.

And that’s the part that annoys me the most: that my dad won. Hopefully, that poor woman found a better job.

I am collecting carts in my store’s parking lot. I am at the front of the store giving directions to a driver to our overflow parking.

Me: “You just round the corner, past the handicap parking, and you’ll see the sign.”

Driver: “Thanks so much!”

They drive away, and then, I feel an aggressive tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see a very angry woman glaring at me.

Customer: “You ableist piece of s***!”

Me: *Shocked* “What?”

Customer: “I can’t believe you f****** said that word! ‘Handicap’ is offensive to the disabled, you piece of s***!”

Me: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know. It’s just always been called that since I’ve worked here.”

Customer: “Get your manager! You need to go on sensitivity training, you ableist trash!”

Upset and shocked, I go get my manager, who listens to the customer.

Manager: “Thank you for bringing this to our attention. I did not know that particular word was inappropriate, and neither did my member of staff. I’ll be happy to circulate that knowledge to all employees.”

Customer: “And what about him?” *Glaring at me*

Manager: “What about him?”

Customer: “Obviously, you’re going to fire him?”

Manager: “Ma’am, he didn’t know that word was offensive. Now he does. He can’t be punished for not knowing.”

Customer: “That is unacceptable! You fire him right now or I am calling corporate!”

Manager: “Ma’am, please calm down. No one is trying to be offensive here. It was a simple mistake, and we will do what we can to rectify this as soon as possible.”

The customer glares at my name badge and then storms off. My manager reassures me I have done nothing wrong, but a few days later, we get a Human Resources representative visit from corporate to review the “incident.” I am suspended without pay for three weeks while they do this, and I can barely make rent. I get that I unintentionally used an offensive word, but maybe give me the chance to learn from it before immediately bringing out the pitchforks?

Me: “So… what you are basically telling me is that you like the completed logo, like the completed slogan, and like the completed branding work, and that you intend to use it all for your new business. Correct?”

Client: “Yes. Absolutely.”

Me: “And yesterday, you called another designer and showed them my work, and they told you that they can do the same work for 20% of what I am charging, correct?”

Client: “Yup. They said that your prices are outrageous.”

Me: “And you are now telling me that you will not be paying me our agreed-upon price but will either pay me what the other designer would take to copy my work… or you will pay me nothing but use the work anyhow?”

Client: “Yup. Take it or leave it.”

Me: “And you do understand that I have submitted all of my work to the US Federal Copyright Office, right?”

Client: “Yep!”

I’m working on the registers and it’s a quiet morning. A customer enters empty-handed and disappears into one of the aisles. About a minute later, he approaches the register holding a four-litre can of paint.

Customer: “I want to get a refund on this paint. I don’t need it.”

Me: “Did you bring that in with you? I didn’t see you holding it when you came in.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! I told you I was bringing it in from outside and held it up to show you.”

Me: “I don’t remember that at all. Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “I knew you were going to ask for that. I left it at home.”

Me: “I won’t be able to return this without your receipt, and since I didn’t see you bring it in, I can’t let you take it with you.”

We go back and forth for a while with him refusing to get his receipt and demanding a refund, while I don’t budge.

Customer: “Fine, I’ll go get the receipt, and when I come back, I’ll throw that paint at your head!”

As soon as he leaves, I go and check the aisle where that paint is kept, and sure enough, there’s a gap on the shelf which was filled not long ago. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t return.

A couple of weeks later, though, he’s back. As he enters, he holds up a dirty car part to show me and tells me he’s bringing it in to check for a replacement. I acknowledge this and he returns to the register and purchases his replacement moments later.

About ten minutes later, he returns to the store again with the package and his receipt and asks for a refund on the part, stating that he didn’t need it after all. The package has been opened, and upon closer inspection, the part inside is clearly his old one as it’s very worn and dirty.

Me: “This isn’t the part we sold you, so I’m not able to give you a refund.”

Customer: “But I have the receipt.”

Me: “Yes, but the item has to also be returned in a sellable condition and this clearly isn’t. I’m not giving you a refund.”

Customer: “You can’t do this to me again! You know, I found that receipt for the paint last time, but I figured I’d just let you have it, but I’m not going to let you get away with it again.”

Me: “This is obviously not the part we sold you, so I’m not giving you anything for it.”

We go back and forth for a bit again before he finally accepts that he’s not getting his way.

Customer: *Beginning to leave* “Fine, but I’m never coming here again.”

Me: *Holding up the old part he’s left behind. “No worries. Don’t forget your purchase.”

Customer: “I don’t want that old thing.”