Not Talking Enough Turkey

, , , , | Right | June 20, 2017

(I work in a restaurant that sells turkey meals. One Saturday, just as I’m about to get off, a man walks in.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I’ll have a turkey meal.”

Me: “Would you like gravy with that?”

Customer: “Did I ask for gravy?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I had to ask. Would you like any sides?”

Customer: “Are you f****** deaf or something? I said I wanted turkey.”

(I can tell the customer is getting agitated and I am trying to remain calm. I move over to the register to ring up his order.)

Me: “Sir, would you like a drink?”

Customer: “God, you are so f****** stupid! I SAID I WANTED TURKEY!”

(The man begins to yell a long string of curse words and the manager is called. At this point I’m on the verge of tears.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “F*** YEAH, THERE’S A PROBLEM!”

(The customer continues to scream curses at me. The manager turns to me.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Me: “I asked him if he wanted gravy, sides, and a drink.”

(The manager tells me to go wait in the back and continues to ring up the customer’s order while he is still screaming. After the customer leaves, the manager comes to see me.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry.”

Me: “What was that?”

Coworker: “You just met the Turkey Guy.”

(It turned out this guy came in every Saturday and ordered the same thing every time. Now I know why no one wanted to work Saturdays.)

Not A Glass Act

, , , | Right | June 20, 2017

(For a while we had these bouncy balls with pretend fish in them and when one was on its stand it would look like the fish were swimming. An eight- or nine-year-old boy grabs one and bounces it hard on the ground.)

Boy: *looking disappointed* “Aw, I thought it was glass.”

A Thief With Baggage

, , , , , | Right | June 20, 2017

(I am at a small-chain grocery store on one of their busiest days because they run significant discounts. I pick up a loaf of artisan bread, put it in my cart next to my reusable bags (in California, people often bring our own because store bags are at least 10 cents each), and take a number at the deli. While I am being served at the deli, somebody walks away with my cart. It happens sometimes when the store is crowded, so I don’t make a fuss about it, take another cart, and hope that my bags will be returned at the cash register when the erring customer discovers they took somebody else’s cart by mistake. About 20 minutes into my shopping, I hear angry screeching at the cash register, so, curious, I go to see what’s going on. Here is what I observe:)

Customer: “You are making me pay for things I did not put in the cart! You are trying to sell me this expensive bread, and I didn’t take it!”

Cashier: “I am sorry, ma’am. As I said, if you don’t want it, we can return it to the bakery. I already took it off.”

Customer: “You tried to cheat me! You tried to pass this bread on me! Who the h*** charges $4.99 for a loaf of bread?!”

Cashier: “This is artisan bread made fresh every couple of hours, but you do not have to pay for it, ma’am. We are going to take it back to the bakery.”

Customer: “You are thieves! I did not put this bread into my cart! You put it there!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I am not saying you put it there. Maybe another customer did it by mistake, thinking it was their cart. We are not charging you for it. Can I process your payment now, please?”

Customer: “It’s enough that you are charging for bags now! Anything to make profit! Thieves!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I have no control over the bag charge. It’s the state law. We are not charging you for the bread. Can you please pay for your order now?”

Customer: *suddenly calm* “Yes. And I don’t want any of your overpriced store bags. I have my own.”

(Too stunned to say anything, I saw the hag hand her MY reusable bags. They are quite distinctive because several of them are from the conferences I have attended in my profession over the past years, and one is from a fundraiser from my children’s school. It would be quite a bizarre coincidence for somebody else to have the exact same set of assorted reusable bags. Unfortunately, I was too flabbergasted to claim them, and the pilferer walked out of the store with them.)

A Model Racist

, , , , | Right | June 19, 2017

(My mother, my sister, and I are at a store to upgrade my phone. A lady in her 30s and what I assume is her mother walk in and ask to see a model for the new IPhone 6. Worker #1, who is a black man in is 20s, is told by Worker #2 that since they already have a model out, he can’t bring out a second one. Worker #1 tells the woman that he cannot show her the model at this time, and she and her mother go and browse the store. Five minutes later, a black man in his 60s comes up and asks also to see a model of the IPhone 6. Since the other model has been put back, Worker #1 shows it to him. After the man leaves, the lady and her mother storm back up to the counter.)

Customer: “I knew you were a racist!”

Worker #1: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “I saw you give that BLACK man the model and not me! Does your manager know its staff is comprised of racists?! I DEMAND to see the manager and have you fired!”

(Worker #1 seems quite shaken up about this, and turns towards the manager, who is helping me and my family upgrade my phone.)

Worker #1: “[Manager] can you come here for a moment?”

Manager: “Excuse me, ladies.”

(The manager walks over and we can hear her trying to explain the situation to the customer, but the customer continues to argue and starts to raise her voice. My sister and I are trying our best to ignore her, but my mother decides to butt in when the lady starts to verbally attack the young man.)

Mother: “Oh, for the love of god! Would you just calm down?! This is obviously not his fault and you are disturbing the peace!”

Customer: “Stay out of this; this isn’t any of your business!”

Mother: “I think you made it EVERYONE’S business when you started screaming like a lunatic!”

(The woman and her mother leave in a huff, grumbling to each other. My mother turns to Worker #1.)

My Mother: “Don’t worry, dear, you did nothing wrong. You seem like an excellent young man, and she was a crazy b****.”

(Worker #1 chuckles and says thank you, and the manager comes back to help us. A tiny, old woman that was standing at the back of the store comes up to the counters and speaks to my mother.)

Old Woman: “Thank you for doing that; she was driving me insane!”

Option 1 For Me, 2 For Myself, And 3 For I

, , , | Right | June 18, 2017

(On weekend night shift there are usually three agents. But on this night, one is on scheduled vacation and the other one called off the day before because he got sick. Unfortunately no-one is able to take over for him so I am alone.)

Caller: “I called before and I think I talked with you. I want somebody else to help me.”

Me: “Oh, are you [Caller]? What is happening now? Maybe I can help you.”

Caller: “I don’t think so. Just transfer me to somebody else.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot do it. I’m alone today.”

Caller: “I don’t want your excuses. Just transfer me.”

Me: “I would but there is no-one else.”

Caller: “I will just call back and I will get somebody else”

Me: “Good luck, sir. But for next ten hours it is me or no-one.”

Caller: *click*

(Surprisingly he didn’t call back on that night.)

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