Strange Times At The Used Car Lot

, , , , , | Working | March 19, 2019

(I am at a used car market which is basically a free-for-all, buy-at-your-own-risk affair. I am an ethnic Chinese woman, and it looks like there are no other people of East Asian descent or women shopping alone. This is a collection of some of the characters.)

Me: “Can I start the car and see how it runs?”

Old White Guy: “Why?”

(Another instance:)

Me: “Would you take R55,000 for this?”

Guy: “No, but can I have your number?”

(Another instance:)

Old Indian Guy: “My son is a dealer. I’ll give you his address. Don’t buy cars from black guys; a lot of them are stolen.”

(Another instance:)

(The reaction of multiple guys when I ask about maintenance issues:)

Them: “Do you have a husband/brother/father at home?”

(Another instance:)

Young Indian Guy: “Hey! Over here! I have the perfect car for you!” *points at a tiny, ugly, subcompact of an unfamiliar make I have to Google*

Me: “Do you think I’m going to buy some random China car just because I’m Chinese?”

Wireless, Clueless, And Racist

, , , , , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(I’m working at a retail drug store that has a photo kiosk available for customers to come in and print photos from their phone. I am ringing up a line of customers when another customer calls me from the kiosk, yelling across the store.)

Customer: “Can I get some help, please?!”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. I’ll call up my manager, since I’m the only cashier today.”

Customer: *scoffs*

(I call up my manager, and can hear her trying to help the lady from several feet away.)

Manager: “Just plug your phone into the cords we have provided. That’s the simplest and fastest way to do this.”

Customer: “No! You’re going to steal all my information from my phone! I want to do this wirelessly!”

Manager: “Okay… the best way to do that is to do it as an online order, which may take up to an hour. We will be watching the kiosks, so as soon as the order comes through, we can print it instantly. However, as I said, it may take up to an hour for the order to come through. I highly recommend you plug the phone in, instead, as that will be much quicker.”

Customer: “I’m not using your cords. You’re trying to steal my credit card information! I’ll just do it as an online order.”

(The customer proceeds to put in an online order with her phone. Ten minutes later, her order has not yet come through, despite both my manager and I checking the kiosk repeatedly. My manager goes to the bathroom and is gone for a total of one minute and thirty seconds. During that time, the customer brings her four-year-old daughter up to me and screams:)

Customer:If and when those photos finally come in, you can throw them out. I’m taking my business somewhere else. I’ve been waiting for these photos for thirty minutes! This is absolutely ridiculous! That [racial slur] of a manager promised me that they would be ready instantly. I’m leaving and never coming back!”

Me: “Ma’am, I heard her tell you that it could take up to an hour, and I heard you agree to this. Are you sure I can’t take a phone number and call you when they’re ready?”

Customer: “No! Throw them out. I’m going elsewhere.”

(As they are leaving her daughter turns around and says:)

Daughter: “We’re going to [Direct Competitor].”

(Her photos were ready seconds after she left. There were over 300 photos and we had to just throw them away.)

This S*** Is Delicious!

, , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(A woman has been waiting in line for a few minutes.)

Woman: “What is this?”

Me: “Chocolate flavour.”

Woman: “It looks like someone s*** in a tin.”

Me: “Could you please moderate your language? There are children within earshot.”

(She turns around and sees a kid eating chocolate ice cream.)

Woman: “You’re eating someone else’s s***.” *leaves*

(Strangest customer I’ve ever had.)

Slugs And Snails And Puppy Dogs’ Tails

, , , | Right | March 18, 2019

CONTENT WARNING: Animal Cruelty

Customer: “Do you think this is big enough for a dog?”

Me: “I don’t know. How big is it?”

(She looks me up and down.)

Customer: “About as big as your thighs.”

(I’m not sure if that is a read about my size, so I decide to ignore it.)

Me: “And what will it be using the box for, a bed?”

Customer: “Decomposing.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “It’s dead. I’m going to turn it into compost for my lilies.”

Me: “Oh, how… environmental?”

Customer: “Well, it was f****** useless in life. It may as well be useful in death. Actually, do you think it’s legal to compost your dead pets? I saw something on the TV about doing it with relatives, but pets are a bit different.”

Me: “I honestly couldn’t tell you. You’re the first person who has ever asked me.”

Customer: “Well, that’s f****** rude of you to say. I think I’ll take my dead dog and my business where I don’t have to look at your elephant thighs!”

(It’s then I noticed she had a large bag hanging from her other hand, and I saw a dog’s tail. She left, and thankfully she hasn’t been back during any of my shifts since.)

No One Is That Stupid By Accident

, , , | Right | March 18, 2019

Customer: “I’d like [meal] with two portions of fries, please.”

Me: “And portion size?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Small, medium, or large?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, which is it?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I decide she isn’t actually a customer and just someone playing a joke, so I call for the next customer.)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME! I’m ordering.”

Me: “Madam, I asked you three times and you didn’t answer me. What else am I supposed to do?”

Woman: “What did you even ask me?”

Me: “Portion size. Small, medium or large?”

Woman: “Large.”

Me: “For both?”

Woman: “Yes.”

Me: “And which drink would you like?”

Woman: “Yes.”

(I’ve now decided that she really is playing a joke, and is just trying to drag it out for as long as possible. I call on the next customer again.)

Woman: “AGAIN! WHY ARE YOU SO F****** RUDE?!”

Me: “Madam, again, I asked you a question and you didn’t answer it. I have now decided you are just doing this for entertainment and I am refusing you service.”

Woman: “HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER IF I WANT A DRINK?! IT’S PART OF THE D*** MEAL DEAL!”

Me: “I asked you what drink would you like. Not whether you want one. Asking that would be redundant.”

Woman: *seeing a manager just off the side* “Are you hearing this? This b**** is being disrespectful and raising her voice at me. I demand a free meal immediately, or I’ll phone everyone I know and tell them you employ w****s to work for you.”

Manager: “I might have been sympathetic, but the second you start swearing and calling my staff b****es and w****s is the second you get thrown out.”

(She screamed just about every swear word you could think of before running out. The victory was bittersweet, though, as I was also written up for bad-mouthing a customer, and that manager had zero tolerance with me after. I was stuck in traffic a month later, and he told me not to bother turning up again. Then, when I got my dismissal letter through, it said the reason was failing to turn for multiple shifts. Suffice it to say, I don’t list them as a reference.)

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