Got His Harass Handed To Him

, , , | Legal | December 6, 2018

(I’m a supervisor on a computer helpdesk. One of my tasks is to listen in on calls to check if agents are giving customers the required service. Listening in on a call, I overhear a customer being very rude to an agent. He’s calling her various foul names like slut and whore. She’s just trying to help him the best she can. The girl is nearly in tears, so I decide to teach this customer a lesson. I tell the agent to end the call because I’ll be taking over. This is how the conversation goes.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. I overheard the conversation you had with my agent and I decided that your support contract just ended. Any problem you have with your computer is no longer our concern.”

Customer: “You can’t do that. I have rights. I will sue you.”

Me: “Please do. We have recorded your call, and we will press charges for sexual harassment against you. Since you were so kind to provide us with your name and address, the police won’t have any difficulty finding you.”

Customer: “You don’t have the right to do this.”

Me: “You mean that we don’t have the right to report a sexual offender to the police?”

Customer: “I’ve got contacts. I’ll have you fired.”

Me: “Sure, but first you’ll have the police on your door.”

Customer: “You can’t do that to me.”

Me: “I can. And we will. Have a nice day, sir.”

(I contacted our legal counsellors and they told me to press charges. We did report him, and we handed over the recordings and the witness statement from the agent. He did get to do community service and had to pay a substantial sum to the agent. My employer didn’t have any problem with the way I handled the problem. He still uses this story as an example of how his company stands behind the employees. The agent got counselling and a few weeks off to recover. She’s still working for us.)

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This Mom Is All Bark And No Byte

, , , | Right | December 6, 2018

(I’m working in the electronic department when I overhear a woman saying, “You can get whatever you want, since we just sold our house!” near the game case. She comes over to me a moment later asking for help.)

Customer: “We would like the [Game Console], the 500 GB one. Wait. Is that a 1 TB?”

Me: “Yep, and it comes with the same game! You get a lot more space with the 1 TB.”

Son: *to mother* “I want the 500 GB one!”

Customer: “No, you’re going to get the 1 TB one. You can get the higher-quality one! It’s fine!”

Me: *unlocks the doors and grabs the console* “Would you like any other games at all today?”

Customer: *to son* “What headset did you want?!”

Son: *pointing at a cheaper one* “This one!”

Customer: “No! You’ll get the more expensive one! I told you we sold the house! You can get what you want!”

Son: “Yeah, I want this one!”

Customer: “NO! You’ll get that one.” *pointing to a headset that is $10 more underneath the one her son wants*

Customer: *to me* “Get him that one!”

(I unlock the headset for her, and as I’m about to hand the headset to her son…)

Customer: *to son* “No, have her put everything in the cart and push it for us!”

Son: “What?!”

Customer: “You heard me! Have her put everything in our cart, and she can push it for us!”

Husband: *who was off in another aisle* “Wait? What are you making her do?!”

Customer: “I’m making her push the cart for us!”

Husband: “Uh… No?” *to me* “We’d also like to get a three-month online card for it.”

Customer: *to me* “And push the cart, too!”

(I put the items in the cart for her, move the cart a foot over to the next aisle, and grab an online card for them.)

Me: “Would you like to pay for this all back at our counter, or up front today?”

(If she takes it up front, I’ll have to walk the console up there.)

Customer: “Back here, obviously!”

(The husband pushes the cart to my counter, which is really only a few steps away. I’m ringing up items when the protection program window pops up; it’ll do it for each item. They are in the middle of a conversation, so I don’t want to interrupt.)

Me: “Sorry… Would you like the extended protection plan on any of your items today?”

(I am ignored.)

Me: “I’m sorry.”

(The woman stops and glares at me.)

Me: “Would you like the extended protection plan on any of your items today?”

Customer: “NO!”

(I finish ringing and bagging her items — minus the console and TV because they don’t fit — and she inserts her card. It’s waiting for her to sign, but she’s busy talking to her family so she doesn’t see it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, looks like it needs a signature to process your card.”

Customer: “Ugh.” *signs*

Me: “All righty, thank you. Have a good rest of your—”

Customer: *to husband* “She needs to put a paid sticker on [Console]!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have paid stickers.” *the consoles don’t fit in our regular bags* “If you’d like, I could put it in our larger bags that we used for Christmas… Let me see if I still have some… Oh, I do!”

Customer: “Whatever.”

Me: *bags it up* “Thank you and have a wonderful day!”

(I was ignored. Again.)

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The Key To Getting Your Lost Property Back

, , , , , | Right | December 4, 2018

(I’m the idiot in this story. My husband and I have had a rare night out drinking, and we are making our way home in a private hire taxi we called and booked in advance. My husband decides to stop the taxi early, so we can get out and buy supper at a fish-and-chips shop before walking the last 250 yards to our house. It has stopped raining, thankfully, so it is quite a nice walk — aka “slight stagger.” I decide I don’t want supper, so I walk down the road on my own in order to get the fire going, put the kettle on, and so forth. I reach our front door, only to realise I’ve lost my house keys. I check my pockets and my bag — even emptying both onto the floor — but no keys. I am getting stressed by now — my husband has left his keys at home. I call the taxi office.)

Me: “Hello! My name is Mrs. [My Name] and I just got out of the taxi at [Street]. I dropped my keys in the cab! Could you ask him to look for them, please? I’m so sorry; I know you’re busy.”

Dispatcher: “Okay, one moment.”

(I hear the dispatcher radioing my taxi driver, and several moments later I hear the reply.)

Dispatcher: “Sorry, Mrs. [My Name], but the driver said there are no keys in the cab at all.”

Me: *explodes* “They must be! I’ve just got out of the cab, not five minutes ago!”

Dispatcher: “Mrs. [My Name], please, he’s a very honest driver! Only this afternoon, he handed in a wallet that—”

Me:I don’t care about a wallet! My keys are in his cab! There’s nowhere else they can be! I had them in my hand, and now I don’t have them! I bet he didn’t even look, did he?”

Dispatcher: “Mrs. [My Name], he’s back at the office, and he’s had another look. Another driver helped, and there’s nothing there—”

(My husband walks up to the door, eating his supper. I quickly and angrily explain what happened.)

Me: “Are you calling me a liar? Do you realise we are standing here in the rain, at nearly midnight, outside our locked door because your driver won’t search his car properly?”

(I fumble for my automatic umbrella, pressing the button to open it, and raise it above our heads. And hear a slight “tinkle” noise as my keys hit the concrete floor.)

Me: *speechless*

Husband: *laughing hysterically*

Dispatcher: “Mrs. [My Name]? Are you still there?”

Me: *calmer now* “Yes. I’m… um… still here. I found my keys, and I’m so, so very sorry. I somehow dropped them into my umbrella. I am so, so very sorry. Please apologise to the driver for me. Oh, God, I am so embarrassed. Oh, my word.”

Husband: *still laughing*

Dispatcher: *trying to answer me without obviously laughing* “It’s… ahem… okay, Mrs. [My Name].” *cough* “No, really, I’ll explain to the driver. You have a good sleep now, eh?”

(I apologised a lot more, and then let the poor man go and do his job. I vowed to — and did — pop into the taxi office the next day to leave a £20 tip for that driver, to try to apologise for practically calling him lazy and a thief. For the next six or so months, however, it was my husband who booked the taxis for us, and each time, I heard him say, “Yes, of course I’ll take my keys. I won’t let her be in charge of them. Yes, I promise. Thanks, bye!” He got a lot of mileage out of that one, with family and friends.)

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A Needling Suspicion Of What Happened

, , , | Healthy | December 4, 2018

(Thanks to starting a new job, I am finally able to afford to go to a dentist for the first time in five years. After the x-rays, it is determined that I have a cavity in between two molars, so I’ll need to be numbed. My last dentist, who was a pediatric dentist, had a habit of practically stabbing the needle into my gums, so when the hygienist towards me with the syringe, I instinctively grip the chair’s armrests.)

Dentist: “Are you okay?”

Me: “Just fine; I just don’t have good experiences with dentists and needles. But I can deal with it.”

(The dentist and hygienist exchange a concerned look and administer the shot. Instead of a jab, I barely feel a pinch. While we wait for it to take effect, we just make small chat.)

Dentist: “[My Name], you said your last dentist was a pediatric dentist, correct?”

Me: “Yeah, I think I was 15 or 16 when I last saw them. I had to get sealants on my back molars.”

Dentist: “Did they numb you?”

Me: “Yeah, only on one side, though. When they numbed me on the left, I swore the needle nearly hit bone, so I begged them not to numb the other side.”

Dentist: “And they listened?”

Me: “Yup, it hurt less than the needle.”

Dentist: *pause* “Was your dentist, by chance, the one whose practice is at [Location Downtown]?”

Me: “Yes?”

Dentist: “Dear God, no wonder we got so many of his patients when we opened.”

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Ignorance Has No Expiry Date

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2018

Customer: “Excuse me, I see in your ad that you have this sale. I was wondering if I could use this coupon that expired only almost a week ago. Will that be all right?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Store] can no longer take any coupons past expiration date.”

Customer: “Oh? Well, that isn’t right. Are you sure?” *she then props herself against the counter and says this* “You know, I also work at [Store, but different location] and [Their Manager and Employees] took them all the time, and I know for a fact that you guys do so here also. Who is the boss tonight? Let me speak to them and I’ll show you.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I find the store manager, tell him the situation, and he comes up after finishing helping another customer. When he walks up, she gives him a grand greeting and explains to him the situation. Though I had to help another customer and did not get to stay for the conversation, I did get to see her leaving the store saying:)

Customer: “Oh, well, I guess I’ll just have to try somewhere else that actually tries to make customers happy!”

(I ask my manager what he did.)

Store Manager: “I know her from another store location, but it’s good you stood by our policies. When I mentioned to her about which stores are on the naughty list for accepting bad coupons and giving unnecessary store credit, of which her store was in second place, I asked her how she was dealing with that. She said never mind, and left! If we allowed it, who knows how many more customers would have come expecting this if they heard they could pull that stuff here!”

(Moral of the story: you are not there to sacrifice values and bend rules to give someone an ego boost or sense of entitlement. Stick to what you know, and keep the truth because anything can happen in retail.)

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