About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 7

, , , , | | Right | May 21, 2018

(I work in an electronics store. A woman comes in at around noon, ranting about how her computer that she has just purchased is defective. My coworker calls me over, as he knows little about this particular model of computer.)

Me: *walking over* “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Woman: *screaming* “Your s****y products are what’s wrong!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to refrain from the foul language, as it disturbs other customers. What seems to be the problem?”

Woman: “This computer doesn’t work! I brought it home and turned it on, and it’s just giving me this screen with some words on it!”

Me: “Ma’am, why don’t you try turning it on, and let’s see if we can work anything out.”

Woman: *grumbles* “Stupid [Electronics Store] employees and their smarty attitudes.”

(The woman finally gets the computer booted up.)

Me: “Oh, I see the problem. Your battery pack is shot. Let me go get a new one.”

Woman: “Like hell you will! And you’d better not charge me for it!”

(I go to the back of the store and retrieve a new battery pack.)

Me: *walking from the back of the store* “Okay, let’s get this thing installed.”

(I spend a total of 15 to 20 minutes getting the battery off of the computer. All the while the woman is saying obscenities under her breath about me.)

Me: “All righty! All fixed up! Now for the bad news. While the store won’t charge for the replacement part because of the warranty, I will have to charge a service fee of $4.50.”

Woman: “That’s f****** outrageous! I could’ve bought the battery for less than that!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, the battery pack itself costs about $25. So, I suggest you just pay the service fee and refrain from further profanity.”

Woman: “I… I…” *defeated* “Here’s my card.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day!”

Woman: “Smarta**.” *leaves*

Related:
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 6
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 5
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 4

Eye See Death

, , , , , | | Healthy | May 21, 2018

(A customer and her husband have walked in and I go over to help them find some glasses. During our conversation, I ask the wife if they’ve seen an optometrist, as we have one on staff that accepts walk-ins.)

Customer: “Yes, we’ve already seen an optometrist. Several, actually. It took us a long time to find one that we like.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad that you found one that you liked.”

Customer: “Yes, they were all so awful. One was so bad that we had to report him to the Board of Optometrists!”

(I usually avoid getting into the politics and gossip regarding other optometrists, so I try to keep my response vague. The wife seems to be getting more agitated the more she talks about it.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear about that.”

Customer: “Well, I heard he’s dead now, anyway, so that’s good!”

Me: “Wow… That’s actually really horrible.”

Customer: “Oh. I guess I shouldn’t say things like that, should I?”

(The customer shrugged and turned to ask her husband a question, completely unfazed. I’ve worked all kinds of retail over 15 years now, and I’ve never heard something so awful come out of someone’s mouth before. I left them alone to look and never helped the couple again.)

This Job Literally Encourages Drinking

, , , , , , | | Working | May 21, 2018

(I’m a front-end supervisor at a high-volume store. I notice one day that my manager has scheduled me to close the front end and open the next day.)

Me: “Hey, I saw the schedule and I noticed that I only have eight hours between shifts. I know that it’s legal, but I live 45 minutes away and there is no way I can fall asleep right when I get home. Can this be changed?”

Boss: “Okay, so, here’s a secret that I learned. What you do is take a capsule of Zzzquil, then open a bottle of wine. Do not stop drinking the wine, and you will fall asleep.”

(I didn’t take that advice.)

Babysitting Is Just A Game To Them

, , , , | | Right | May 21, 2018

(Internet cafes are popular in our country with kids who want to play games in groups. A grandma comes in with her five-year-old grandson.)

Grandma: “Set him up for a five-hour package.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I don’t approve of that, since that much time in front of a PC is not good for a kid, but we don’t have a policy or law that would let me deny them. I set the PC for the kid. A few minutes later I see her leave. I am not able to stop her because I am assisting someone with her payment and the register is open. I just assume she went to the store next door and will be back quickly. A few minutes pass and she hasn’t returned yet. Around 30 minutes later, the grandson is already looking around for her and he looks scared. I ask one of the high-school kids around to check where she went. The grandson must have heard us and he runs outside looking for her! I run after him and am able to grab him when he’s about to cross the very busy road. I get him back in and he starts a tantrum and wails really loud, kicking those of us who tried to pick him up. The grandma comes back, angry at me for “not taking care of him.”)

Me: “We’re an Internet cafe, not a child care center.”

Grandma: *shouting and berating me in front of the customers* “Just let him play; he likes those games. I told you he’ll be here for five hours.”

Me: “He ran out and tried to cross the road. I can’t keep an eye on him. He doesn’t even know how to play the game you selected. I can’t sit by him to tutor him on how to play. I’m alone here.”

Grandma: “He tires me out. Just distract him.”

Me: “No. Take him.”

(The kid is still wailing on our floor, and the others are getting irritated with how loud he is and how he’s kicking anyone he wants to kick.)

Grandma: “In five hours!”

Me: “This is not a child care center!”

(I pick the kid up because he is in the middle of the store while grandma is at the door. He punches my jaw and lands a few kicks on me.)

Grandma: “Why can’t you take him?! I’m paying that package!”

Me: “The package doesn’t include a nanny.”

(I hand him over, his grandma still shouting at him and me, saying she wants that package. I cancel the transaction on his PC before she can drag him back to his rented PC, and shout for the next kid to take it.)

Me: “He’s crabby; take him home so he can sleep.”

(The kid was still crying, and there was no more PC where she can drop him, so she walked out with the kid. I had to pay for the package out of pocket. Getting rid of them was worth it.)

That’s Not Very Lice

, , , , | | Friendly | May 20, 2018

(I’m sixteen and my sister is seven. I’m a natural brunette while my sister is a natural ginger. We’re with our mother, shopping. My mom is hearing impaired and also a ginger. While mom is looking at some products in the opposite end of the aisle, I take care of my own half of the shopping list.)

Woman: *playing with my sister’s hair* “Oh, aren’t you just the cutest thing?”

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t touch my sister without permission.”

Woman: “Oh, don’t worry dear; she doesn’t seem to mind. I don’t bite.”

(My sister is very shy and goes mute with people she doesn’t know. The woman is obviously not listening and Mom probably won’t hear me. Being the immature teen I am…)

Me: “Ma’am, she has a bad case of lice. Please stop touching her hair.”

(The woman goes pale and runs towards the bathrooms. My mom catches up with us, very confused.)

Mom: “Why was that woman running like she saw the devil?”

Me: “She wouldn’t stop playing with [Sister]’s hair, so I told her she has lice.”

Sister: “Yup.”

Mom: *laughing* “I had a similar thing happen when you were a toddler, [My Name], and I said the exact same thing.”

 

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