A Syrupy Sweet Exchange

, , , , , , , | Right | January 18, 2018

(I work at a fast food restaurant that’s famous for its customizable frozen custard treats.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you tonight?”

Customer: “I’ll have a mini [custard] with hot fudge, hot caramel, and light cookie dough. ‘Light’ means not a lot.”

Me: *fighting back the sass-filled comment that I thought about* “All right, that’ll be [total]. And you can have a seat; I’ll bring it out to you.”

(The customer goes and sits in the dining room. In the process of making the [custard], it melts a good amount due to the hot ingredients. Normally I’d remake it, but since I can’t do anything about the fact that hot things melt cold things, I deliver it and go back behind the counter. I start doing some miscellaneous cleaning while I don’t have anything else to do.)

Customer: *comes back up to counter with [custard]* “You f***** up my order. This is unacceptable, and I can’t believe you gave this to a paying customer.”

Me: *very politely* “I’m sorry. What seems to be wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s all melted. I can’t eat this s***.”

Me: “Would you like me to remake it?”

Customer: “Sure, just don’t f*** it up this time.”

Me: *not wanting to make it the same way so we’re back where we started* “Would you like to try it with chocolate syrup and caramel syrup instead? They aren’t hot like the others, but taste the same.”

Customer: “Sure, all I give a f*** about is you not f****** up my order again.”

Me: *remakes it and delivers to her table* “Again, I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(I go back around the counter and I see my manager looking confused.)

Manager: “What was that?”

Me: “She ordered a [custard] with hot fudge and caramel and cussed me out when it melted.”

Manager: “Some people expect us to defy physics. Get used to it.”

Trying To Get Racism Licked

, , , , | Working | January 18, 2018

(It’s early in the morning and I have ordered coffee and a doughnut. I am at the drive-thru window waiting. I look in and see the man serving me picking up my doughnut and licking it before putting it in a bag. He comes over.)

Me: “Do you mind giving me a doughnut that doesn’t have your spit on it, please?”

Worker: “What?”

Me: “Get me a different doughnut.”

Worker: “You don’t want me to serve you, do you?”

Me: “Not after rubbing your tongue over my doughnut.”

Worker: “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?”

Me: *incredulous* “It’s because you literally licked the doughnut you were about to give me.”

Worker: “I’m not serving a bigot like you!” *closes the window*

(I drove off, and as I turned out I could see him enjoying my doughnut and coffee. I complained to the company and was given a load of vouchers as compensation. I drive past the place on the way to work, and I haven’t seen that guy since.)

Multiple False Starts

, , , , , | Working | January 18, 2018

(We are preparing the deli counter for the day. I have been put with a new starter to show him what to do. After literally five minutes of working:)

Starter: “Why do I have to do all of this? It’s hard!”

Me: “Umm, because it’s your job?”

Starter: “Oh.”

(While I continue setting up he completely disappears. A few minutes later my manager comes up to me.)

Manager: “I’ve had a chat with [Starter]. He says you have been bullying him into doing thing he isn’t comfortable with.”

Me: “What? All he was doing was taking empty boxes into the back, and I’ve practically said five words to him.”

Manager: “Look, I know this job is frustrating, which is why we brought [Starter] on, but if you could be a little nicer to him?”

Me: “What do you want me to do? He asked me why he was doing his job and I told him, because it’s his job.”

Manager: “Okay, I’ll have another word with him.”

(She was gone about a minute.)

Manager: “Okay, [Starter] is swapping with [Other Starter] in Stocking. You’ve upset him so much he refuses to go anywhere near you.”

Me: *exasperated* “Okay… Whatever works.”

(Thankfully the other starter was amazing, work-oriented, and you only had to show him once and he got it instantly. My original starter was moved from department to department until he pretty much just sat in the canteen for eight hours a day. He was only eventually fired after the regional manager was visiting for a week and noticed he was always in there. It’s still a mystery why he was kept for so long. I suspect nepotism.)

Offering A Knuckle Sandwich

, , , , , , , | Right | January 18, 2018

(I am a very petite female. I am the customer at a coffee shop I frequent often. The employees are very nice and most of them know me by now. I purchase a sandwich and a drink, set up my laptop, open the sandwich, and begin to work. A few minutes later I go to the restroom, leaving behind my items, only to come out to a man in his mid-40s eating my sandwich, right next to where I have been sitting. I hate confronting people and would have brushed it off, but it is just too weird.)

Me: “Excuse me. Are you eating my sandwich?”

Customer: “No, this is mine.”

Me: “I took a couple bites out of it, and there’s lip-gloss on the bite marks on ‘your’ sandwich.”

Customer: “Get your own! You young people are always taking things away from the more deserving!”

Me: *now confused and embarrassed, as everyone in the shop is staring* “Sir, that’s my sandwich. You can have it. It’s no big deal; it’s just a turkey sandwich. But I’m not the thief, here.”

Employee: “Wait. Sir, did you take this woman’s sandwich?”

Customer: “No. I’ll fight her for it!”

Employee & Me: *at same time* “You want to fight for it?!”

(There is moment of silence as the other customers and employees look back and forth between my five-foot frame and the man’s six-foot frame. The other customer looks around for a moment, then grabs my sandwich and runs out.)

Employee: “Do you want another sandwich?”

Me: “I don’t think I’ll ever eat a turkey sandwich again.”

Made You The Butt(ock) Of Their Joke

, , , , , | Right | January 18, 2018

(I sell tickets at a kiosk in front of a recently-opened art exhibition in the museum. A couple comes in, and they each have one arm wrapped around the other’s waists.)

Man: “Do we have to pay to see the exhibition?”

Me: “Yes, sir. While the rest of the museum is free, this is a special exhibition that is on loan. It’s £9 per person, or £7 if you qualify for a discount.”

(While grumbling about the cost, the couple detangles from one another, both searching their pockets for money. Eventually they hand me a £20 note.)

Me: *hands them back change and tickets* “Your change is £2, and here are your tickets. Enjoy the exhibition!”

(They put their arms back around each other, and I think nothing of it until they walk past me to look at a painting on the opposite wall. To my horror, I realize that they are, in fact, not holding on to each other’s waists, but instead both of them have their entire hands shoved down not only their partner’s trousers, but also their underwear, and are caressing each other’s bare buttocks. Just as I begin to desperately search for hand sanitizer without touching anything…)

Woman: “Excuse me? Can you throw this away for me?”

(She removes her hand from her partner’s underpants, fishes a used tissue from her pocket, and drops it on my desk before putting her hand back down his boxers.)

Me: *dies on the inside*

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