That Girl Is Trouble… For The Customers

, , , , , | Working | February 21, 2019

(I work at a kiosk inside of a mall. This particular kiosk is even smaller than many other types of kiosks, so it’s exceedingly rare for there to be two or more employees at the same time. I have just handled a customer complaint, and after my attempt to remedy the situation, I get a call from my boss.)

Boss: “Hey, just calling to check how things are going.”

Me: “Yeah, I encountered a little problem not too long ago. Who was working last Saturday?”

Boss: “I was.”

Me: “Sorry to ask, but are you 100% sure? You didn’t hire anyone new or anything?”

Boss: “No, why?”

Me: “Well, a customer just complained about something that happened last Saturday. I’m having a hard time believing it was you because it’s not likely you would’ve made this kind of mistake, and the customer was complaining about a female employee. I thought we were all dudes here.”

Boss: “Did you say a female employee? Oh, g**d*** it. Not again!”

(It turns out his girlfriend visits him at the kiosk to hang out, and when he steps away to go to the bathroom or grab lunch from the food court, she approaches every passing mall patron very aggressively. Of the few sales she manages to obtain, she doesn’t explain the products or the kiosk’s policies adequately, causing frustration to the customer down the line. My boss still isn’t sure why she does this, because she isn’t getting paid for this work, and he has asked her, multiple times, to stop.)

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It Wasn’t His Dog Day Afternoon

, , , | Right | February 21, 2019

(It is Saturday, our busiest day at the pet-grooming salon, and we are super busy. One customer comes in without an appointment, but we are willing to squeeze their two dogs in, letting them know it will take a while. They are okay with it.)

Customer: *calling in a few hours later* “Hi. Are my dogs ready?”

Me: “Well, one is done and the other is bathed, but the groomer does have to go to lunch soon, and it will probably take another few hours due to the complicated haircuts on the other dogs who came in before you.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! I went to a baseball game, and they should be ready now! I’m coming to get them!” *hangs up*

(I let my coworkers know what happened and that I’m going to just charge for the bath, not the haircut. A few minutes later, a physically angry man with a red face storms in saying he’s here for the dogs.)

Customer: “I’M HERE FOR MY DOGS! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”

Me: “Okay, so, we’re going to charge for just the bath on this dog. The total is [amount].”

Customer: *fuming* “What?! This is horses***! Why is it so much? F*** you!”

Me: “Well, this is the price of a bath; it’s actually less than the price you signed for. I’m sorry you are upset, but unfortunately, I cannot change the price.”

Customer: “I want to speak to a manager! It is f****** bulls*** that you charge this much! We dropped them off in the morning and they should be done!”

Me: “Well, our manager isn’t here, but if you have any complaints, you can call during the weekday, and—“

Customer: *cuts me off* “OH, I’M GONNA DO THAT!”

(He actually lets me process the transaction and charge his card, probably because at this point I’ve stopped looking at him and focused on the invoice. He continues cursing and ranting as I slide his card and just act as calm as possible going through the typical dialogue at this point. That seems to set him off more, because when he signs the receipt, he just writes “HORSES***” in place of his name.)

Customer: “I wrote ‘HORSES****’ ON THE RECEIPT, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! I’M TELLING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW TO NEVER COME HERE! F**** YOU!” *inserts string of profanity* “YOU’VE JUST LOST MY BUSINESS!”

Me: “Have a nice day!”

(One of the groomers was outside and he started ranting at her. I peeked out the door holding a phone as if I was about to call the police, and he got in his car and sped off. I called my manager, and now he is banned at the store, and if he tries to come in again, we will call the police for real.)

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A Bill So High It’s Cartoonish

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(I work in a payment collection call center for a cable company.)

Me: *goes through intro script and reads off current balance*

Customer: “Why is my bill so g**d*** high?!”

Me: “Just a moment, miss. Let me pull up your bill.” *does, and sees a stunningly long list of pay-per-view purchases* “Miss, it seems like the primary contributor to your balance is a large quantity of pay-per-view orders.”

Customer: “What pay-per-view orders?! I didn’t order any pay-per-view stuff!”

Me: “Well, let me read off the order list to you, and tell me if you recognize any of this.”

(I read the list. It’s full of “Spongebob,” “Peppa Pig,” and Disney Princess movies.)

Customer: “Wait. Are you telling me those orders are nothing but cartoons?”

Me: “That appears to be the case, yes.”

(The customer heaves a gigantic, trembling sigh. I brace myself for auditory pain.)

Customer: “Just a moment, please.”

(I hear her put the phone down and dial a cell phone. There’s silence for a moment.)

Customer: “[Husband]? Do you have any idea WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER DID?!”

(Apparently, this customer’s seven-year-old daughter ordered about thirty pay-per-view cartoons without her parents’ knowledge or consent. Needless to say, the customer asked to speak to the billing department.)

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About To Have A Kindergarten Strop

, , , | Working | February 20, 2019

(My twins have been in kindergarten for three months, and we are very happy with the place. The carers are great and our twins’ “trust-person” is such a joyful lady; we like her and so do the kids. There is just one older, slightly grumpy carer, who always takes some little thing to berate us about, mostly suggesting we keep the kids at home whenever something is slightly out of order. My husband works full-time, and I do three days a week. The other two days, the kids usually still go, but mostly because they have more fun there than with me at home, doing laundry and such. One day, the daycare is scheduled to close an hour earlier. As I am working, my parents-in-law are picking up the kids as usual and they have been informed about the earlier pick-up multiple times. Four minutes past the time the kids should have been picked up, I get a call at work.)

Old Lady Carer: “Mrs. [My Name], you know that the kids need to be picked up an hour earlier today.”

(Of course, I fear the grandparents forgot, excuse myself a million times, and end the call to start the emergency phone marathon.)

Old Lady Carer: “You do that. [Twins] are sitting here and are waiting.”

(I feel so bad about this. My head is full of pictures of them sitting in the empty kindergarten hallway, with their little backpacks on their knees, lonely and forgotten. Possibly crying. I call the grandparents’ mobile but no one answers. Then, I call their landline — no answer. I call my husband and tell him his parents are not there and he tries to reach them again. Meanwhile, I call my mum, who lives near the kindergarten, but only has a bike and no car. She agrees that she could be there in about thirty minutes. I tell her to get ready and I will call my husband again to see if he has reached his parents. He has not and is reasonably worried. His parents are seventy and you never know. As we both work in different places than our hometown, my mum would be the fastest to reach the kids. I call her and she tells me she will get going right away! I try to call back the kindergarten. It is now twenty past. Nobody answers. I try twice more before reading texts from my husband telling me that his parents’ mobile phone is still not being answered. I try the daycare again, and finally, someone picks up.)

Different Care Person: “[Kindergarten], [Care Person] speaking.”

Me: “I tried to reach the grandparents, but they aren’t answering the phone. I could be there in an hour, but as we don’t want the twins to wait any longer than necessary, my mother is on her way on her bike and will be there in about twenty minutes, I guess. We are quite worried that the grandparents are not answering any calls and we hope it’s nothing serious…“

Different Care Person: “Wait, wait, wait. What’s up? What are you talking about? I don’t know what you mean.”

Me: “Aren’t you already closed? And [Twins] have not been picked up?”

Different Care Person: “[Twins]? No, they have been picked up already. The grandparents arrived extra early, and we just forgot the time chatting until now, I guess. And the twins have been playing so happily all this time.”

Me: “But [Older Care Lady] called me to tell me they were sitting there alone and waiting.“

Different Care Person: “She probably did not see us chatting outside; that’s the only explanation I can think of. Everything is absolutely fine; don’t worry!”

Me: “Well, I’m glad about that. But that was really unnecessary.“

(She apologised again, but I told her it was fine as long as the kids were fine. I then called my mum, who was pedaling as fast as a sixty-year-old lady can, to make her turn around. She was relieved, too, but peeved, as expected. My husband texted me, meanwhile, that he’d reached his parents’ mobile in the end; they just had left it in the car while chatting in the daycare’s playground while the kids were still running around happily. All is well that ends well, but maaan, that was an annoying hour.)

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With No Niece It’s Not As Nice

, , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(I win a gift card for a two-person meal at a local restaurant and I take my sister with me. The restaurant is in the middle of a rush and completely understaffed when we get there. There are three staff members dealing with over thirty people. The two waitresses are extremely nice to me and my sister, explaining why everything is taking so long and apologizing every couple of minutes. The problems only start when a couple sits down behind us.)

Angry Customer #1:Well! I didn’t expect there to be such a rush!

Angry Customer #2: “All I can say is our niece had better be working today.”

(The waitress comes over.)

Waitress: “Can I help you two with anything today?”

Angry Customer #2: “We’ll have the [meal], and have [Niece] cook it.”

Waitress: “Actually, [Niece] isn’t a chef, and she isn’t working today.”

Angry Customer #1:What? We drove all this way here! All I can say is the food had better be good!

Angry Customer #2:Why isn’t [Niece] a chef? She cooks all the time at our house!”

Waitress: “I’m not sure, ma’am, but she’s—“

Angry Customer #1: *cuts off* “It doesn’t matter. Just get our food and make it quick!”

(The poor waitresses are doing their best, but while they are working, the awful couple keeps calling them over to complain about EVERYTHING, especially how they aren’t the only people in the restaurant.)

Angry Customer #1: *calls the waitress over* “You know, we are from a ‘Small Town’–”

(He says this like he is admitting to secretly being Jesus or something. You can hear the capital letters clicking into place.)

Angry Customer #1: “—and we aren’t accustomed to having this many people, or waiting this long.”

My Sister: *loudly* “I’m from an even smaller town, and I’m having a great time!”

Angry Customer #1: *ignores her* “And you shouldn’t keep apologizing for the rush; you’ll be getting tips off of it, so what do you care?”

Angry Customer #2: “If you are really having so much trouble, you should hire my husband.” *gestures at [Angry Customer #1]*He actually knows how to cook!”

Waitress: “Well, I admit I don’t know how; my girlfriend does all the cooking for me at home.”

Angry Customer #1: *hissing intake of breath* “So that’s why! Well, I hope our food will be done soon!

(My sister is convinced that he and his wife don’t want to tip after they heard their niece wasn’t working. These awful people actually get their food around the same time as my sister and I, even though they came in half an hour later. The poor staff is really being run ragged. The dinner the man ordered comes with a dessert. Therefore, the waitress asks if he would like it, adding that some people don’t so she has to ask.)

Angry Customer #1: “Do I look like I need dessert?!”

Waitress: “I… I don’t know?”

Angry Customer #2: “Just get us our leftovers boxes.”

Waitress: *has tried to be perky the whole time, smiles* “Yes, ma’am.”

Angry Customer #2: “Well, aren’t you glad to be rid of us!”

(I am still surprised that the waitress didn’t say, “Yes!” immediately, but we were FINALLY rid of them. There is a somewhat cool ending, though: since my sister had ordered one of the dinners that came with a dessert, and I hadn’t, I was going to buy a dessert, too, but since I had been so nice to the waitress and thanked her and said, “Please,” when I ordered, she gave me the dessert for free! I tried to leave a big tip; I don’t know if I did since I don’t go to restaurants often. But the waitress seemed so shocked and surprised when I gave it to her, that I had to assume we were the first that day to give her one.)

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