I’m eating dinner in the staff room. There are some biscuits and cupcakes in a tub on the table that appeared sometime last week, but I’m ignoring them.

One of the managers and a coworker come in and chat about some things. As the manager is leaving, he grabs a cupcake and says to both of us:

Manager: “Feel free to have these.”

I think to myself, “Nice, I’ll have one after I’ve finished this.” But then he continues.

Manager: “I dunno whose they are, but I’ve been eating them.”

I’m never leaving my food unattended here again.

I worked as a lifeguard at a public pool last summer. We had a strict “No water wings” policy; those little f***ers are death traps.

A woman is putting water wings on her kid next to the pool, and I politely inform her:

Me: “Ma’am, we do not allow water wings, but we have life vests available for free.”

I point to them, literally five feet from where she’s standing.

Woman: *Infuriated* “How dare you dictate to me how I treat my child?!”

I can see this escalating, so I call my supervisor over. As he arrives and speaks to her, the kid jumps in the pool. The water wings slip up his arms, and he’s suspended underwater. I jump in and pull him out.

Woman: *Even more furious* “You have some nerve to touch my child! I’m gonna sue!”

She was banned from the pool.

I hurt my back. The good news is that it’s not bad enough to need surgery; the bad news is that means the doctor won’t write off a note requiring medical leave. So, hopped up on painkillers and muscle relaxers, I head to work where I spend the day hunched over at my desk, doing as little physical effort as I can. My boss and all my coworkers understand, and I get a lovely day of folks doing the walking around for me and being polite and kind… except for one coworker.

She’s a self-described “medical know-it-all” despite not having any education past high school health class and general Google information. And she’s apparently decided that my bad posture is causing the pain, not the other way around, regardless of my actual normal practices or anyone else backing (heh) me up. She offers and/or threatens to “fix me” herself with a knuckle in the back and a hand on the shoulder.

Me: *Bluntly* “If you so much as try it, Human Resources will be the nicest part of the rest of the day.”

Several times that morning and afternoon, she hovered around me, making comments and “offers”, but I always brushed her off.

Then, at one point, she made her move, swooping in behind me when I was in the middle of trying to let a spasm settle. I vaguely recall feeling her grab me. I do remember hearing the cracking; my joints tend to stiffen up when still too long and then loudly pop or crack when stretched. I do not remember how I ended up on the floor, nor the noise I made that was later described as “trying to scream through a mouthful of wet cement.” But I was in more pain than I ever remember feeling, openly sobbing and shuddering, and there was a LOT of noise from my coworkers above.

That area of the office was cleared out and EMTs were called. Aside from some ugly bruising, I wasn’t much worse than I had been, and once the initial flare started to settle, I declined a trip to the hospital. I did accept when my boss’s boss came up to me in the break room and gave me an override to the normal PTO rules, letting me take the rest of the day and the following Thursday and Friday off without worrying about any notes.

By Monday, I was still sore but able to move around at least, and my first stop getting back to work was at Human Resources to fill out my side of the report. Thankfully, there was no pleading or arguing by this point; a half-dozen witnesses and a camera shut up Miss “Medical Genius” in a hurry, and rumor is that she only escaped getting fired by signing an agreement basically stating she’d never so much as touch another employee again without permission.

I purchased two bottles of liquor for a party we were having. The price was 465 Norwegian kroner (NOK). I paid with a 500 NOK note, realized I had 15 NOK in coins, and asked if the teller could change it for a 50 NOK note. 

Teller: “Of course! I do appreciate the extra change!”

In a bit of confusion, she handed me the 50 NOK note together with the 500 NOK note. I looked at her for a little while, and she was just staring at me. Being a decent human being and having a history in retail myself:

Me: “I don’t think I should have both?”

Teller: *Now shocked* “Oh, my God, you are right. Thank y—”

She couldn’t finish her sentence before the person behind me started yelling:

Next In Line: “YOU ARE SOOO F****** STUPID!”

She was pointing at me, all red in the face, still yelling:

Next In Line: “That is your money now; she gave it to you. You idiot! You could have had this for free! Workers learn this way! This is how workers learn!“

I was too stunned to reply and just stared at her, dumbfounded. The customer turned to the teller and started on her:

Next In Line: “This isn’t your money anymore. You need to hand it over. She—” *still pointing at me* “—is too stupid to take it, but I’m not. Give it to me now! It’s not yours anymore. It’s mine. You need to learn from your mistakes!”

She kept up this logic until another worker came up to escort her out. She was still insisting that the liquor store owed her for their mistake.

The teller and I shared a gaze and a “wow” before resuming our days.

I deliver pizzas. I’m on my last delivery of the night. It’s a nicer house. I pull up, grab the pizzas out of my car, and walk toward the driveway.

Two figures pop out from behind a bush next to the garage. It’s dark out, so I can barely see them. One has a hood on with his drawstrings pulled so that most of his face is covered. It freaks me out. I think they are middle schoolers or possibly freshmen in high school, tall enough that I confuse them for possible adults at first.

Anyway, it freaks me out and I just stop.

Me: “What are you guys doing?”

I am so scared that I am about to get robbed.

They don’t say a word. One just holds up money, so I walk up the driveway by the garage to meet them. They have a phone propped up against the garage door and one starts giggling. I think maybe they are trying to film a prank. Once I get closer, I can see they are between thirteen and fifteen years old.

Me: “Hey, just so you guys know, you don’t want to be dressing and acting like that, because the pizza delivery guy is gonna think you’re trying to rob them.”

They just mock what I said, so I opened the bag and hand one of them the pizzas.

Me: “Wait until you guys have to work a job like this.”

The other one mocks me again and then — it turns out the phone is on a FaceTime call — some kid on the phone speaks up.

Phone Kid: “Give them the pizza, you monkey!”

And they all laugh. I don’t say anything. Then, the kid with the hood gives me $22.

Kids: *In unison* “Keep the change, ya filthy animal!”

And they walked inside, laughing. I thought it was odd that I would give him the pizzas before getting the money because I know better than that. I looked at the delivery tab, and just as I thought, IT WAS ALREADY PAID FOR. $20.95 had already been paid for by credit card. I didn’t say a word and just left.

Now, I’m not a bad guy. Normally, when this happens or someone doesn’t realize how much change they should have, I always, ALWAYS, ask if they would like change. But after being mocked, f***ed with, called a monkey and an animal, and told to keep the change, I decided I would. No way I was gonna chase them to their door to give them that back after the way they treated me.

I’m thinking they ordered online and their parents left them money or something and they didn’t realize it was paid for. That, or they were just very generous with the tip. I’m eighteen, and honestly, I might’ve thought what they were doing was funny years ago, but working low-paying customer service jobs has changed my perspective. I don’t find pranks that mess with employees funny anymore. Hopefully, these two learn a lesson.