So Much Lol in Español, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | August 22, 2018

(I am a Mexican male, born in Mexico but living in New York. I am working in a fast food chain for the summer, before I enter university. My English is not broken, and my natural accent has almost faded, so I sound like I was born in New York, but I still look Mexican. I am ringing up a customer when two young customers in their mid-20s enter the store. They really look and sound Mexican. Suddenly, they glance at me and speak in Spanish. I still speak flawless Spanish.)

Customer #1: *in Spanish* “Look at that idiot, dude.”

(The other customer looks at me.)

Customer #2: *in Spanish* “Yeah dude, he’s one of those [slurs] who think they’re American just because their daddies crossed the border.”

(I came to America legally, and I wasn’t even planning on staying.)

Customer #1: *in Spanish* “Tell you what; we order everything in Mexican to piss him off. Let’s see how good he thinks his Mexican is.”

(They walk up to me and the only thing they say is:)

Customer 1#: *in English* “Good morning.”

Me: *in Spanish* “Hi there! What would you like to order today?”

(The customers go silent and stare at me for five seconds. Suddenly, [Customer #2] goes red.)

Customer #2: *in Spanish* “YOU’RE NOT MEXICAN! YOU’RE NOT AMERICAN! YOU’RE JUST A F****** [SLUR]!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Okay, are you going to order anything?”

Customer #2: “F*** YOU!”

Customer #1: “I’m sorry… We’ll never do that again.”

(They both leave. This would’ve been a good ending to the story, with two bigots owned and me happy, but it gets even better. Two days later my manager takes me into her office.)

Manager: “So… [My Name], I customer told me yesterday that a bigot told them that they were… [slurs]… Do you have anything to say about that?”

(I then tell her what actually happened and who called who what. She starts to laugh and tells me to not worry, then. Later on, [Customer #1] comes in and walks up to me.)

Customer #1: “Yeah… Sorry about my friend… Did he really complain about you?”

Me: “He did, but don’t worry; it’s all fine.”

Customer #1: “Well, if it makes you feel better… I punched him in the face when he told me.”

Related:
So Much Lol in Español

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Literally Screams For Ice Cream

, , , | Right | August 22, 2018

(It’s been a long day, and I’m already an hour and a half overtime. I’ve been selling ice creams all day, and in the past few hours we’ve been running out. A woman comes up to our counter.)

Me: “Hi there. How may I help you today?”

Customer: *rudely* “Give me a chocolate.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we’ve sold out of chocolate ice cream today. Is there something I can get you, instead?”

Customer: “Oh, f*** it. Really?!”

Me: “Yes, sorry. As you can see, we’ve had quite a hot, sunny day today, so it’s been very busy. If you could please tone the language down? We do have lots of children around, including the one standing behind you.”

Customer: *slamming her fist on the counter* “Oh, f*** off and get me a chocolate ice cream!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are sold out of chocolate ice cream. We do have other flavours, if you’d—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “You’re hiding it from me! Aren’t you!? You a**hole!”

Me: “Sorry, are you going to buy anything today? We are quite busy and there is a hefty queue forming behind you.”

(She stormed off, and my coworker and I were shocked. We talked to our manager, and luckily we were able to find out she was staying at the site, and we kicked her off.)

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His Heart Belongs In The Frozen Section

, , , , , | Right | August 21, 2018

(I bag groceries at a grocery supermarket in my town. Premium customer service is our policy; baggers must help the shopper unload their items onto the conveyor belt, and then go bag them, and walk them out of the store to their car. This is the reaction as I approach a customer at my lane.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir! Can I help you unload your items?”

Customer: *angered* “No! Just go bag for me!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(I go bag as he hurriedly throws and slams his groceries on the conveyor. I stay within protocol and bag colds with colds, as I simply bag frozen peas and a quart of milk together. He comes up to pay for his stuff.)

Customer: “Are you an idiot? You aren’t supposed to bag frozen with refrigerated things!”

(He grabs the bag out of his cart and slams it onto my bagging station. Then, he stares at me and says:)

Customer: “Rebag it.”

Me: “I apologize, sir. Let me bag those separately.”

Customer: “You’d better.”

(I do it. Then, I bag a box of cereal with a plastic coffee mug, WHICH IS FINE. That is the worst thing in the world for him.)

Customer: “Just get out of my way and go bag horribly for someone else.”

Me: *smiling as I begin to walk away* “Have a great day, sir!”

(I wanted to sock him in the throat so badly.)

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Late For A Date With A Plane

, , , , , , | Legal | August 21, 2018

(This happens way before 9/11, back in a time where airport security is only SLIGHTLY more lax. My brother is leaving for a week-long trip. Rather than pay parking fees, I agree to go with him to the airport, drive the car back to my place, and pick him up when he gets back. My brother has never been great with timing, though, and we are getting to the airport with minutes to spare. Of course, he also pulls into the through-traffic lane, instead of the drop-off lane. Note that there’s the double-yellow “do not pass” lines on the road, as well as periodic reflectors, making it obvious to all.)

Me: “Ah, crap. I told you we needed to take the right ramp!”

Brother: “Hang on.”

Me: “Wha-AAH!”

(And just like that he yanks the wheel to the right, cutting straight across the lane, cutting someone else off, and literally screeching the brakes as he pulls into a spot. I’m basically plastered across the back of my seat and the door out of shock.)

Me: “DUDE, WHAT WAS THAT?!”

Brother: “I can’t miss the flight!”

(He proceeds to jump out of the car without even turning it off, and ignores the POLICE OFFICER that has rushed up.)

Cop: “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?”

Brother: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m late! I can’t miss this flight!”

Cop: “Do you have any idea what you just did!?”

Brother: “I know, I know! I’m sorry! I never do that, but I’m late!”

Cop: *pointing to me as I’m getting out of the car* “AND YOU! Why did you let him do that?!”

Me: *doing a double-take at him* “Well, he didn’t exactly CONSULT ME ON IT!”

(Thankfully, the officer turned all his attention to my brother, so I was able to get in and leave. Apparently, my brother was yelled at all the way through the bag check and into the airport itself; I have no idea how he didn’t end up getting a ticket or other fine. I also made him promise that any time we went anywhere, I’d drive!)

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Channelling Some Anger Issues

, , | Right | August 21, 2018

(I work for a major telecommunications company, in the customer service department. A customer calls in because he is missing a lot of channels on his TV.)

Me: “I apologize; this must be very frustrating. Are you receiving any error message when trying to view your missing channels?”

(When a customer receives a message stating “NOT AUTHORIZED,” it means they don’t have the channel because they need to either upgrade their package or purchase the channel individually.)

Customer: “No, just a blank black screen.”

(Because he says it is a blank screen, I know this will be something I won’t be able to assist with. I try to tell the customer I will need to transfer him to technical support for further assistance.)

Customer: *completely ignoring what I said, being very rude and snappy* “We are going to go over one channel at a time and see which channels are working and which aren’t. Write down the channel number so we can count how many channels aren’t working.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but—’

Customer: “Channel one, working. Channel two, working. Channel three, not working.”

Me: “Sir, I need to transf—”

Customer: “…channel four, not working. Channel five, working—”

Me: “Sir, please allow me to transf—”

Customer:Listen. Do not speak. Let me finish; I’m talking, and you will listen to me!

(I mute my mic, allow him to speak, and roughly twenty minutes later, after reaching channel 310 or so…)

Customer: “Did you write it all down? You’d better have, because I ain’t doing this s*** again!”

Me: “I’m not a technical support agent; I will need to transfer you for further assistance.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say so in the first place? Give me your d*** supervisor!”

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