Cut From The Mouth Of Babes

, , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(I’m quite short and petite, so many customers mistake me for a teenager and patronise me even though I’m actually 20. This isn’t helped by the fact that it’s currently school holidays.)

Customer: “I need three metres of this fabric. But I need you to cut it straight.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. We make an effort to ensure that every cut has been measured currently and is straight.”

(I measure out the fabric and take normal precautions to ensure it is properly lined up with the ruler so the cut will be straight. The customer apparently doesn’t think I’ve done this correctly, and moves the fabric. I firmly move it back and begin to cut. She starts to move the fabric while I’m cutting.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s impossible for me to cut the fabric straight if you keep moving it.”

Customer: “But it’s not straight!”

(She keeps moving the fabric.)

Me: “I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave the measuring and cutting to me. I’ve been working here for over two years and I can assure you that you will receive three metres of correctly cut fabric. After I’ve finished cutting you’re welcome to measure the piece for yourself. If it’s incorrect I’ll happily cut you a new one.”

(She went red and kept quiet after that. To add icing to the cake, my colleague in her mid-40s approached me while I was processing the transaction and asked me how to place a complicated order. Never assume that someone who looks young is inexperienced.)

Cooking Up Some Trouble

, | CA, USA | Right | June 5, 2016

(Five minutes to closing, a woman and her grand-daughter come to the door. What kind of person takes their five-year-old grand-daughter to dinner at nearly 11:00 at night?)

Customer: “I demand you serve me. It’s not closing time.”

Me: *hiding a mental sigh* “Certainly. This way, ma’am.”

(Everything has been cleaned by then: the grill, the counters, the tables, everything. This woman orders things that causes us to re-clean everything. All of us, especially the cook, are livid. They spend about an hour eating.)

Customer: “I need to complain about my steak. I demand that the cook remake it.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(They finally left at about 12:30. When I was cleaning her table, I noticed she had left her car keys. Right after she walked out, we had locked the door. When she came back to the door yelling that she had forgotten her car keys, we all acted like we could not hear her. She had to take a taxi home. I suppose she never was taught about the cardinal rule of not pissing off the wait-staff or cooks.)

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Thanks But No Thanksgiving

, , | NJ, USA | Working | December 18, 2015

(I work for a popular retail chain. At our store, it is normally expected to have all hands on deck for Black Friday and days off had to typically be secured months in advance. However, in what turned out to be my last November there, we had recently hired so many people that a good handful of regulars weren’t scheduled for that day. Curious, I ask one of the managers if that’s accurate.)

Manager: “Yeah, we’ve got more than enough coverage all day long, even for Black Friday. Enjoy the turkey hangover!”

(I make sure to ask several times of different managers during the two weeks between when the schedule was posted and when BF finally rolls around, and am always given the same answer. Finally, on the day before Thanksgiving, the one manager I haven’t talked to because I never am in at the same time that she is — the one in charge of scheduling, coincidentally — approaches me.)

Scheduling Manager: “Hey, we’re going to need you in on Friday.”

Me: “Um… excuse me? I wasn’t scheduled.”

Scheduling Manager: “Things changed. You need to come in.”

Me: “I can’t. I already made plans to go see family out of state, since I was assured by everyone short of the district manager that the schedules were accurate.”

Scheduling Manager: “We had two people already need to drop out, so you need to come in.”

Me: “Hang on, you’re trying to tell me that two people who WERE scheduled are okay to leave, but when I wasn’t scheduled I’m in trouble for not being able to come in!?”

Scheduling Manager: “Look at it this way; it just goes to show how valuable you are to the company! See you Friday.”

Me: “I’m not going to be here Friday, sorry.”

(No, the scheduling manager wasn’t particularly popular with that sort of condescending attitude. No, I didn’t go in. No, I didn’t feel bad when a couple months later I got a better job offer, and she tried to chew me out for not giving “enough advance warning” besides my two-week’s notice!)

Will Pay For That Later

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2014

(I’m making a big coupon trip to a big-box retailer, a really big trip I’ve been planning for the better part of a week. I have a couple hundred items in my cart, and just as many coupons that need to be scanned. As the cashier starts scanning, I let anyone who gets in line behind me know that I have a lot of coupons and that my checkout will take a while, so they might want to get in another line. They all decide to go to another line, until…)

Me: “I’ve got a few hundred coupons that are going to need to be scanned after he’s done ringing up my items.” *waves big stack of coupons* “So this will be a while. You might want to get in another line.”

Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do. This register has the shortest line. I’m checking out here.”

Me: “All right, just wanted to let you know the coupons were going to take a bit to scan.”

(In a few minutes, the cashier has finished ringing up all my items.)

Cashier: “Your total is $1,760.43.”

Me: “Okay. Here are my coupons.”

(The customer behind me groans loudly and mutters something about ‘people who can’t afford to just buy things.’ As the cashier continues to scan my coupons, the customer gets more pissed off and more impatient.)

Me: “I’m sorry this is taking so long. This is why I suggested you might want to get in another line.”

Customer: “YOU should have gotten in another line, you dumb b****! I don’t know who the f*** you coupon b****es think you are, making those of us who work for a living wait for you so you can get 50 cents off your stupid crap. You’re just wasting my time, you stupid b****!”

(The rant continues while the cashier continues to scan my coupons. The cashier and I just roll our eyes at each other about the woman’s behavior and let her rant at us. Finally, after about 15 minutes, the cashier scans the final coupon and announces my savings.)

Cashier: “All right, so from $1,760, you’re down to $132.73, and you’ve earned $245 in gift cards. Thank you for shopping at [Store]!”

Me: “Thank you for your patience. Have a great day!”

(I grab my bags and start to head out when the woman behind me yells for me. I turn.)

Customer: “So, do you, like, teach people how to do this?”

Me: “Yes, I absolutely do, but dumb coupon b****es like me shouldn’t take up the time of people who work for a living like you, so I wouldn’t be able to help you. Enjoy paying for your things!”

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Ah, Grandmothers, Part 3

, , , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2013

(My aunt works at a popular doughnut shop chain near my grandmother’s house. One evening, my older sister and her boyfriend, my little brother, and I decide to head there after an afternoon at a fair, while waiting for my mom to pick us up. A short while afterward, a couple of tough-guy type young men walk in, making rude comments, being loud, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. The leader of the group approaches the counter where my aunt is working.)

Customer #1: “Yo, b****, gimme your number.”

Aunt: “I don’t think so. Is there anything you’d like to order?”

Customer #1: “How ’bout a piece of that a**?”

Aunt: “Sorry, not on the menu. Now order something or please leave.You’re holding up the line.”

Customer #2: “B****, we’ll leave when we wanna leave.”

Customer #3: “Yeah, who’s gonna stop us, little old you?”

Aunt: “No, little old [Manager]. Now, please, place your order or get out.”

(The customer orders two cases of donuts, and throws his money to the ground.)

Customer #1: “See what you did? Pick it up and hand it back to me!”

Aunt: “Um, it’s on your side of the counter.”

(The customer picks up his money and walks over behind the counter and throws it down again.)

Customer #1: “Now pick it up, b****!”

Aunt: “No. As a matter of fact, leave. I’m refusing service.”

Customer #1: “Why, because I’m black?!”

Aunt: “No, because you’re acting like an imperious a**hole, and you have been since you walked in. Now leave, or I’m calling the police.”

(As luck would have it, a police officer stops inside the shop.)

Me: “Wow, that was fast.”

Customer #1: “Officer, this racist b**** was trying to kick me and my homies out. We ain’t even done nothin’!”

Officer: “Really? Because what I saw was you throwing your money at this woman twice, in addition to walking behind the counter, which isn’t allowed for non-employees.”

(The customer and his buddies start throwing a fit, yelling expletives, flipping everybody off, and generally acting unruly. Then they head outside and start throwing boxes around; the leader even takes off his shirt and tries goading everyone into a fight.)

Customer #1: “COME ON, I’LL SHOW Y’ALL! I’LL BEAT Y’ALLS A**ES SO HARD! COME ON!”

(He has another argument with the officer, but thankfully leaves with his buddies. However, he comes back a few minutes later accompanied not by his friends, but his grandmother.)

Customer’s Grandmother: “So I understand y’all have a problem servin’ my grandbaby?”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, they were callin’ me all kinds of s***, and the girl over there was saying we were on food stamps!”

Customer’s Grandmother: “…[Customer], stand outside and wait while I talk to the lady here.”

(The customer steps outside and my aunt explains everything that happened. After hearing it, the grandmother is incensed and walks outside.)

Customer’s Grandmother: “YOU LITTLE PUNK-A**! GET YO’ A** IN THE CAR NOW! You dragged me outta my home for THIS?!”

(As they drive off, my mom finally pulls in.)

Mom: “So, what’d I miss?”

 

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