Not Just The Milk That Has Soured

, , , , | Working | May 31, 2018

(I have gotten into work after a three-day weekend due to a May bank holiday. I am making myself a coffee while another colleague is getting herself some cereal.)

Colleague: “Ugh, this milk stinks!

Me: *seeing the label* “It expired on Saturday. I think there’s a new one downstairs we could use.”

Colleague: “Who would put expired milk back in the fridge? That’s so disrespectful.”

Me: “I doubt it was intentional. No one was here over the weekend, and the cleaners usually empty out the fridges on Monday before we get in.”

Colleague: “THEN WHY DIDN’T THEY?”

Me: “It was a bank holiday.”

Colleague: “That holiday is for us. Not the help!”

(I doubt this is intentional as “the help” isn’t really a common phrase around here, and I only know of it from American TV. The cleaner, however, is black, and I can’t help but think she’s being intentionally racist. This is confirmed when the cleaners come around at midday, and she makes a beeline for the black cleaner.)

Colleague: “Do your f****** job. I don’t want s*** stinking up my food. If I find another bottle of that crap in that fridge, so help me, you’ll wish you had been deported.” *storms away*

(We all complained about her and she made a public apology. It wasn’t well-received, however, after she blamed her behaviour on her husband’s affair with a South African woman — who was white — that she discovered over the weekend. Because the woman was African, [Colleague] developed an irrational hatred of black people. She no longer works with us, and the office is a lot calmer.)

Highly Suspicious

, , , , | Learning | May 31, 2018

Pupil: “Sir, is it true you can get high off sniffing the glue?”

Me: “Um, certainly not from the glue we use in school. And, do you know what ‘getting high’ means?”

Pupil: “Yes. My mummy said she tried sniffing glue once and got high, and now she can’t remember what she did in her twenties.”

Me: “I… see. Well, you’re at no risk of that happening here.”

Pupil: “That’s good.” *goes back to arts and crafts*

(I was concerned after the conversation, so I notified the school nurse. Now the pupil talks about how he goes to see his mum “at the hospital,” and how he isn’t allowed to hug her because she’s restrained.)

Very Entitled, But Not To A Job

, , , , , , | Working | May 31, 2018

I get an application for an internship, which I’m a little surprised by since we filled that months ago, and we took it down from the employment page. After looking, however, I realize that while the link to the intern listing was removed from the page, the intern listing itself, which was its own page, was never taken down. I respond, explaining and apologizing for any inconvenience, saying we’re not hiring but I’ll keep his resume on hand.

My email includes a signature with my business number. Almost immediately, I get a phone call. It’s the kid I replied to — and I do mean “kid,” since he’s only 17. He very smugly informs me that it doesn’t matter because we have the listing still searchable online, ergo we owe him a job or he’s going to sue us for false advertising. He finishes it up with, “So put me on with your hiring department.” Pause for emphasis. “Or else.” All of this is delivered in the absolute smuggest, most confident tone I’ve ever heard.

I kind of sit for a moment in stunned silence at how brazen this kid is, before I go, “Well, gee, I guess you got us there,” then burst out into genuine laughter and hang up. He immediately sends a very prissy and outraged email to my boss demanding I get fired, who also thinks the whole thing is hilarious. The kid continues to email us threats of legal action on and off for the next month, which we all take turns reading aloud in various dramatic tones. That was a few years ago, and I still wonder if he ever remembers doing that and cringes now, or if he’s still that same entitled jerk. Hopefully for everyone around him, it’s the former.

Well, That’s Food For Thought

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2018

(I’m a supervisor at a grocery store chain. At my store, we sell two different kinds of store gift cards: one that’s open-ended, and one that’s restricted to grocery items only. The open card can be used to purchase tobacco and alcohol, but the restricted card can not. We put refunds onto the restricted cards when the customer doesn’t have a receipt and the refund is over a certain amount, to deter theft. On this day, one of my cashiers had taken a no-receipt refund that needed to be put on a gift card before I got to work, and when I’m clocked in she warns me that the customer was unhappy with getting a gift card and not cash, and that he said he would call to complain. A few hours later, I take a phone call and have the following conversation.)

Customer: “I have this gift card for your store, and it says something on it that I don’t understand.”

Me: “Can you please read it to me?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Not to be used for tobacco/alcohol purchases.’ What does that mean? I can’t buy booze with this?”

Me: “That’s correct.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***. So, I can come to your store and buy anything in your store with this, except alcohol? What kind of gift card is that?”

Me: “It’s a restricted gift card, sir. We have standard gift cards that are open, and then restricted gift cards.”

Customer: “What the f***? That’s stupid. Can I come in and have you approve me to buy alcohol with it, anyway?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the register will automatically deduct the alcohol from the total when you use the card, leaving you with a cash balance owed.”

Customer: “Wait, you said you have real gift cards, right? Can I buy one of them with this card?”

Me: “No, sir, that’s illegal and also against store policy, anyway.”

Customer: “That’s f****** r*****ed. This card is f****** useless. What the hell am I supposed to do with this piece of s*** if I can’t buy alcohol with it?!”

Me: “Well, you could buy food with it.”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “F*** you!” *hangs up*

The Second Customer Was A Nice Change

, , , , , | Right | May 30, 2018

(I am 16 and working my very first job at a fast food place. I have been there for a total of two weeks, and we are slammed with a line out the door. I am doing my best to keep calm and not stress out, when this guy comes through.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’d like a number one and a number five, both mediums.”

Me: “Absolutely! That will be [total].”

(The customer hands me a large bill, I notice him counting change but don’t think anything of it. I get into my drawer and give him $.47 back in change and close my till. As I try to hand him his change back, his face turns bright red in anger.)

Customer: “You idiot! Don’t you see I am counting change here?! I don’t want $.47! I want to give you this $.53 and you give me a dollar! Why would you hand me my change so fast? I obviously wanted to use the change I already had to finish paying! I can’t believe how stupid you are! Take this handful of change, and you give me a dollar, like you should have in the first place!”

(I don’t know what to say. I’m trying to open my till, but it won’t open without a manager code. My managers are both busy dealing with other customers.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. It’ll be just one moment; I can’t open the drawer until a manager comes back over here.”

Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me! I just want a dollar in change back instead of all these coins! Why is that so hard for you to understand? Are you that stupid?”

(Another customer in line behind him steps forward. I’m crying and can’t even hide it anymore. [Customer #2] is a very large, intimidating guy. Without saying a word, he holds out a dollar and puts his hand out for the change. [Customer #1] sheepishly takes the dollar and hands the guy the coins and goes to wait for his food.)

Customer #2: *breaks into a huge friendly smile and says very loudly for everyone to hear* “Don’t worry about him, honey. Some people just have nothing better to do with their boring, useless lives but come and pick on teenagers. Must be pretty sad!”

(Pretty much everyone in line laughed as [Customer #1] grabbed his food and left. These days, I pause for a second before counting back change, even if they show no signs of holding coins. Just in case.)

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