Me: “Thank you for calling Guest Relations; this is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Guest: “I need to cancel my reservation I had a death in the family, and I won’t be able to make it.”

Me: “I’m certainly sorry to hear about that. I can contact the hotel for you and see if they would be willing to cancel the reservation without penalty. Can you give me the confirmation number?”

(Just then, his wife is in the background yelling at him, trying to take the phone away. She is calling him a liar and telling him that he is going to h*** if he does not tell me the truth. Then, she gets on the phone and says…)

Guest’s Wife: “I’m really sorry, but my husband is a liar and there was no death in the family. He made a mistake and booked the wrong hotel, and he doesn’t have the balls to admit it.”

Me: “Oh! Well, then, yeah…”

Guest’s Wife: “I have told him not to do it, but he did.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our policies and procedure for this rate are very strict. I would not be able to cancel the reservation for you without a penalty.”

Guest’s Wife: “SO YOU’RE A LIAR, TOO! You told my husband you would see if you can cancel without a penalty and now you can’t! BULLS***!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have to ask you to watch your language. We can contact the hotels if it’s an emergency. But we can never guarantee that it will be cancelled without a penalty for you. I advised that I would ask for you–”

Guest’s Wife: “FINE, THEN! IF IT HAS TO BE THAT WAY THEN I DIED; JUST TELL THEM THAT. I’M SURE THEY WOULD CANCEL THAT, THEN. RIGHT?!”

Me: “But ma’am you can’t be dead; I am talking to you. I’m sorry. I can’t cancel the reservation for you. If I do, you will be charged.”

Guest’s Wife: “YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON! YOU DON’T CARE IF WE DIED! I DEMAND A REFUND OF THIS. NOW.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I’m not able to assist at this time, so you guys have a great day.”

Guest’s Wife: “FINE, THEN! THIS WAS POINTLESS. Thanks for nothing, you heartless b****.”

Me: “You have a great day!”

(This person was the laughing stock of the day. She had the nerve to call back four times and try to convince someone to cancel the reservation for her with the same sob story again. Some people…)

This story is part of the Hypocritical Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

10 Customers Who Lied About Their Health To Get Ahead

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Customer: “I want to buy these pans that I saw on sale online.”

Me: “Alright, ma’am, what brand are they?”

Customer: “I don’t know that!”

Me: “Okay… how much are they?”

Customer: “I don’t know that either!”

Me: “Do you perhaps have a photo of the pans?”

Customer: “I didn’t have time to do that!”

Me: “Alright, ma’am, sometimes things sold online are not sold in store.”

Customer: “All I know is that they were at this store and they were different colors.”

Me: “What colors were the pans?”

Customer: “I don’t remember!”

(I show her every pot and pan set that was a different color from the norm. E.g., orange, green, and blue. Of course, that wasn’t what she wanted. She picks out an item that wasn’t even close to like she wanted in the first place. She goes to put the item in her cart, but she had lots of stuff in her cart and it doesn’t fit.)

Customer: “What am I supposed to do, it doesn’t fit in my cart!”

(She acted like it was my fault the stuff didn’t fit. I guess I was supposed to shrink the box for her.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, why don’t you take some stuff out. Put the big stuff on the bottom and the small stuff on the top.”

Customer: *looks at me like a deer in the headlights*

(I was paged to another area of the store and walked away from her. I’m sure I would have punched her otherwise.)

Customer: “Yeah, this movie didn’t play right. It keeps skipping. I want a different one.”

Me: “Okay, if you want to go grab another copy off the shelves I’ll get this checked in.”

(I scan the movie and it is three days late.)

Me: “Ma’am, this movie is three days late.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “So… I’ll have to charge you full price to rent another movie, and you’ll need to pay the late fee.”

Customer: “THE MOVIE DIDN’T WORK. I SHOULD GET ANOTHER ONE FREE!”

Me: “Well, it was a three-day rental, and you could have brought it in anytime in those three days and we would have been happy to exchange it free of charge. However since it’s late, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “THIS IS F****** BULL-S***! LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “I am the manager, ma’am.”

Customer: “F****** RIDICULOUS! THE MOVIE DIDN’T PLAY!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you had a full three days to bring it back.”

Customer: “I WAS F****** BUSY!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, that’s not my fault.”

Customer: “GIVE ME YOUR BOSS’ NUMBER! I’M GOING TO REPORT YOUR A**! [Boss’s Name] IS AN OLD FRIEND AND YOU’RE GOING TO GET FIRED!”

(I give her the number and she storms out, muttering. I call my boss.)

Me: “Just so you know, you might be getting a call from your friend, [Customer’s Name] trying to get me fired.”

My Boss: “Who the h*** is [Customer’s Name]?”

(We have this awful woman who regularly shops at our store. One day we were extremely busy and a coworker of mine is struggling to fit shoes for three children.)

Mean Lady: “Bring me this size!”

Coworker: *disappears out back for a few seconds* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it appears we’ve sold our last pair.”

Mean lady: *throws shoebox at coworker’s head, hitting her squarely in the forehead*

Coworker: “Ouch…”

Mean Lady: “I hate you!”

This story is part of the Customers-Overreacting roundup!

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(A VERY high customer approaches me.)

Customer: “I NEED A WATCH!”

Me: “Alright… did you have anything in mind?”

Customer: “Not too expensive, with a leather band, and it has to match theeeessseee.” *points to his brown leather bracelets*

Me: “Okay, what about something like this?” *holds up watch*

Customer: “NO THIS ONE!”

(He points to a VERY expensive watch with a black metal band that meets NONE of his above-mentioned requirements.)

Me: “Well, that watch is rather expensive…”

Customer: “NOT TOO EXPENSIVE!”

Me: “Okaaay… what about these?” *points to customizable watches*

Customer: “I like those two! I like them because they’re round.” *one of the watch faces is, in fact, square*

Me: “…”

(Customer now attempts to answer his ringing phone, accidentally drops it, and while attempting to pick it up, falls onto my male boss. He groggily apologizes, then staggers out of the store to take the call, leaving behind his purchase from another store.)

Boss: “Is that guy high?”

Me: “As a kite.”

Boss: “Oh, okay. Because he just groped me.”

Me: *dies laughing*

(Customer now returns, accompanied by a friend. Customer continues to be stupid, while friend tries to shoplift. After all this has gone on, customer and friend go to talk to Boss.)

Them: “So are you guys hiring?”

Boss: “Am I hiring druggies or shoplifters? NO.”