Brace(let) Yourself For The New Generation

| Right | March 22, 2013

(My friends and I are running a babysitting service for Valentine’s Day. The kids we are watching range from two to nine years old. I’m sitting with the oldest kid, making bracelets with her.)

9-Year-Old Girl: “Have you seen that YouTube video X-Box Girls Get Revenge?”

(This video has a lot of cussing and sexual jokes.)

Me: “Yes, I have. I think the real question here is why have you seen it?”

9-Year-Old Girl: “What?”

Me: “That stuff is aimed at high-school and college students, not third graders.”

9-Year-Old Girl: “Well, third graders have changed.”

Me: “Oh, yeah?”

9-Year-Old Girl: “Yeah! We’re a lot more mature and independent!”

Me: “Uh… huh.”

9-Year-Old Girl: “Now, can you tie this bracelet for me, please?”

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A Stone’s Throw Away From Good Behavior

, , , , | Right | March 4, 2011

(I am babysitting for a woman who refuses to leave the house. I am outside while her children are playing. She is watching us from the window.)

Me: “[Child], don’t throw rocks. They’re painful.”

(When the child continues to throw the rocks at me, I take the rocks from him and put him in a time-out.)

Mother: *rushing out of the house* “Don’t punish my children! Who do you think you are?”

Me: “Ma’am, my employer requires me to give the children a time-out if they are doing anything dangerous.”

Mother: “Wait, what? I thought you were just here to play with my kids!”

Me: “Well, yes, babysitters usually do some sort of activity with the children.”

Mother: “Why would I hire a babysitter if I’m here?! Why did you come here?”

Me: “Ma’am, you called the company and asked them to send a babysitter to your house.”

Mother: “Don’t punish my children!”

(She chased me out of her yard with a duster. A few weeks later, she called again for a babysitter. She was going to court because a neighbor’s child was hit in the head with a stone.)


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