Practice Makes A Perfect Little Princess

| Related | February 23, 2013

(My 3-year-old niece is at her mother’s baby shower.)

Mother’s Friend: “Okay. Time to open your gifts!”

Mother: “All right.”

Niece: “No! I have to open the presents!”

Mother: “Why?”

Niece: “I have to practice for my birthday!”

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Well, If Gwyneth Paltrow Did It…

| Related | October 24, 2012

(My cousin is throwing a baby-shower for me. One of the guests is her aunt–in-law. I am not directly related to this woman, but have known her most of my life. She is known for being a little kooky and scatter-brained.)

Me: “Oh, this is so cute and it has his name on it!”

(I hold up a one-sie that says “Ben’s Banana Shop,” and has a monkey on it.)

Aunt-in-law: “You’re going to name the baby Banana?!?”

(It took us the rest of the baby-shower to get her to understand that I was not going to name my child ‘Banana’. But my cousin’s family still calls him Banana, and we joke that he got his first nick name before he was born.)

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