This is the story of how our CEO who I admire and respect became CEO.

He had been the Senior Vice President for a few years. The owner of the company wanted him to take over as CEO as the owner was going to retire, and the company was going to transition into more of a corporate governing structure. Some of this had already been completed; they had a board of directors, etc.

The debate over who would be the CEO came down to two people: [Senior VP] and [VP].

[Senior VP] was hired by this company straight out of college when he was twenty-one; he grew from the bottom up. He had worked in basically every department and led every department, and he understood the company inside and out.

[VP] came into the company as a vice president. He had an MBA and experience in the industry, and he was the second favorite to become CEO.

In an early discussion, the board apparently wanted to vote on who would become the interim CEO before the owner retired. They wanted this to be an eighteen-month run-up as taking over was considered a big deal. [VP] knew [Senior VP] was the primary contender and had him beaten out by a few votes. So, [VP] brought up the fact that the company bylaws stated that the executive officers — CEO, Chief Technology Officer, Chief Information Officer, and Chief Financial Officer — all had to have college degrees, and therefore, [Senior VP] wasn’t qualified.

This caused the meeting to come to an end. I believe at this point [VP] felt he had [Senior VP] beat. So, [Senior VP] went to the owner and had a conversation.

At the next meeting, the CEO stated that he intended on doing one year longer. The board was shocked, but nothing said the CEO had to retire when he said he would.

That’s when [Senior VP] went into action. You see, [Senior VP] had ninety college credits. His brother was also the assistant dean at the local community college. [Senior VP] was an English major when this company hired him thirty-five years prior. The local community college quickly admitted [Senior VP] as a senior in their English Lit major. Due to [Senior VP]’s thirty-five-plus years of business, three required business classes were given to him. [Senior VP] also loved math, so he was able to take an exam to exempt himself from his final math class. This gave [Senior VP] 102 credits — eighteen credits shy.

[Senior VP] enrolled in the twelve credits for the spring semester. He completed those and finished up his last six credits in the eight-week summer semester.

In the third-quarter board meeting, the CEO announced that he was prepared to allow the board to vote on his replacement at the fourth-quarter meeting. The CEO made it clear that he considered the two front runners [Senior VP] and [VP]. [VP] brought up the fact that [Senior VP] needed a degree. [Senior VP] smiled, reached into his briefcase, and pulled out his diploma from the community college clearly showing he had graduated with honors with a major in English Lit.

In the fourth-quarter board meeting, [Senior VP] won by a landslide to become the next CEO.

[VP] left the company not long after that.

It’s about a third of the way through the school year. One of the students I have for homeroom has been consistently refusing to do his homework for several required subjects since the school year started. It’s not a matter of mental illness, personal troubles, or even thinking he has the connections to get top grades without effort. [Problem Student] just thinks he doesn’t need any of this s*** for what he wants to do in life — which, I discover when I speak with his parents about it, is “physical labour”.

Problem Student’s Mom: “If he can find himself a stable job that can pay for a home and food without a twelfth-grade education, I’m not going to stop him from dropping out when he’s old enough to move out of the house. But I paid for twelve years of schooling for his sister while she was living under my roof, so I’m going to pay for twelve years of schooling for him.”

During breaks, I’ve also noticed [Problem Student] watching videos of cutscenes from various video games, some of which I’ve played myself. I ask him if he’s played one of these games, an MMORPG for which my usual party has recently gone their separate ways, so I am all for meeting new allies that I can keep in touch with in real life. He explains that he is watching videos of games he specifically DOESN’T have because he wants to witness the story.

Then, one day, [Problem Student] does a complete 180. All of a sudden, he goes from “not even bothering to write his name on the test” to being in the top five of a thirty-student class. His earlier misbehaviour has left its mark on his final grade, but if he keeps this up, he’s in no danger of failing the required classes. Curious, I ask [Problem Student] what prompted this… at what turns out to be an inopportune time, so he promises to explain himself during lunch break the next day.

When he does show up, he has a video loaded on his phone of a cutscene from one of those games. The short story is that the playable cast is dying, and they’re trying to cheer themselves up in their final moments by making plans for a future that will never happen.

Character #1: “How about we study something else besides fighting?”

Character #2: “What? More studying and tests?”

Character #3: “But this time, it won’t be about learning to use weapons or magic.”

Character #4: “So… what do we study? Is there anything that’s not fighting?”

Character #5: “Well… we could read fables about the founders of [Nation]… or study all about how flowers bud and bloom. All we’ve ever known is war. We have so much left to learn.”

At this point, [Problem Student] takes the phone back and pauses the video, leaving me a bit surprised.

Me: “So… this is…?”

Problem Student: “Yeah. [Characters] never learned anything that didn’t have to do with their job, and… they’ve missed out on so many beautiful things in the world. I don’t want to end up like that. And I figure… if there’s even a chance I might learn about something wonderful, maybe it’s worth learning about something boring.”

I sent him on his way with a smile, and then I closed the classroom so I could get the tears out of my system.

My boss is a good boss. His personal life is off the rails (and he tends to overshare that), and he may not be a great teacher, but he’s a good boss. I had an unexpected medical event that meant I could not drive or work until the cause of it was found. My boss told me not to stress about it and that I’d still have a job when I was able to work again.

There was only one neurologist in my area of the state that took my insurance, and he was a two-hour drive away. He also only worked a couple of days a week. As you can imagine, it was a long time before I was able to be seen. A couple of days before my scheduled EEG (brain scan), about five months since I’d last worked, my boss called me.

Boss: “So, are you able to come back to work yet?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. I have an EEG scheduled for [date], and then it’ll be at least another month before we get results from that. But that puts us right around Christmas, so I probably won’t actually get results back until January.”

Boss: “Okay, well, keep me updated. I was calling to let you know you got another raise; you’ll be making $17.50 an hour when you come back.”

I had been told he was very diligent about giving raises regularly, but I hadn’t imagined he’d continue counting my time while I was unable to work! There were unfortunately some other delays before I was finally cleared and able to drive again, making my total time out of work ten and a half months. This put me at another raise point, so I actually came back to $18 an hour.

I work in a hotel. A couple of nights ago, I had a late-night call after 2:00 am from a lady and her partner who were traveling across the Midwest states by car. They seriously underestimated the distance between towns and cities, and after a very long day of driving, they called my hotel to ask about availability.

With great trepidation, I quoted the rates and carefully explained:

Me: “The room will be yours until 11:00 am today, so for about eight hours.”

At this point, I moved the phone slightly away from my ear and mentally prepared for the wailing and gnashing of teeth to come…

But… it… didn’t…

Guest: “That’s okay. We just need a couple of hours of sleep. It’s our fault for not planning our route better.”

I experienced shock and awe. There were no screaming fits, no cursing, not even the vaguest suggestion of wanting to call a manager.

They arrived about ten minutes later and walked in with SMILING FACES — something seldom seen in this circumstance — and their IDs and credit card in hand.

I took a moment to decide that, no, this was not me having a stroke or a fever dream; these people were actually real.

I immediately upgraded them to the nicest available room and gave them a 15% discount off the price of the standard room. Then, I quietly mentioned that I might have “forgotten” to lock the pool and hot tub area and that for the next few hours, I would be far too busy to monitor the pool area cameras.

The nice lady’s eyes widened as she signed the registration card.

Guest: “But this says we’re in a family suite… And it’s less money than you quoted on the phone?”

I simply smiled, handed her the keys, and asked if she needed extra towels as the pool towels had been taken away to the laundry so there weren’t any available in the pool area.

Don’t be a jerk and we won’t treat you like a jerk.

Customer: “I want your twelve-inch ‘Meat Explosion’ sub.”

I go through the process of constructing the sandwich in front of him, adding the beef, chicken, and pork, as well as all of the sauces and veggies.

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [price].”

Customer: “Oh, but I am a vegetarian. You made it vegetarian, right?”

I admit, I laugh out loud because I think the customer is joking. It turns out he is not.

Me: “Sir, the sub is called the ‘Meat Explosion’.”

Customer: “But I want the vegetarian version.”

Me: “There isn’t a vegetarian version of the ‘Meat Explosion’, sir.”

Customer: “You’re just being lazy! I want the vegetarian version!”

I am at the end of a very long shift after working fifteen days in a row because we are drastically understaffed (The Great Resignation and all that). I started working for this sandwich chain on the understanding that I wouldn’t interact with customers that much because I can’t handle stupidity very tactfully. I snap.

Me: “Sir… are you a f****** moron?”

Customer: “How dare you speak to me that way?! Where is your manager?!”

The manager is called over, and she is about as done with this situation as I am.

Manager: “What would you like me to do to make this right, sir?”

Customer: “Well, an apology, for starters!”

Manager: “You’re absolutely right, sir, you do deserve an apology. On behalf of [Store], I would like to say how sorry we all are that you don’t realize just how monumentally and prodigiously stupid you are, and you have our pity. It can’t be easy going through life as a moron.”

Customer: “You are all going to be fired!”

The customer marches out and I am staring at my manager, who has never looked more glorious.

Manager: “Meh… I don’t give a f*** anymore. Let him complain. I’ll just tell them that you can only deal with so much stupid before you do something stupid yourself.”

Over a year later, we’re both still very much employed.

Related:
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 7
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 6
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 5
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 4
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 3