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You’ve Been Cancelled

, , , | Right | January 11, 2023

One of our coworkers has just been promoted to the manager of our check-in and concierge desk. It’s only been a month since the promotion, but morale amongst the staff is at an all-time high since, while she will go above and beyond for most guests, she will also go as far in the opposite direction to a**hole guests.

I see her helping check in a guest when another guest approaches the desk and snaps his fingers at her.

Guest: “Hey!” *Snaps* “Hey! I’m ready to check in!”

Manager: “I will be with you just a moment, sir.”

Guest: *Snaps* “But I’m ready now!”

In a quick motion (and thus creating a moment I will never forget – yay, core memories!) my manager snaps her fingers back at the guest!

Manager: *Snaps* “And I will be with you in a moment… sir!”

The guest is momentarily dumbfounded but regains his composure when it’s time for him to check in. I actually become available to serve him, but my manager gives me a look that I know to mean, “Hold off… he’s mine.”

Manager: “I can see you’re staying in our [Economy Range] room tonight, sir.”

Guest: “Yes, and you will be upgrading me for free for being so rude.”

Manager: “I’m afraid you’re not eligible for any upgrades, sir.”

Guest: “Then I guess we’ll have to talk to your manager about how rude you’ve been to a premium-member guest.”

Manager: “I am the manager, sir, and no upgrades.”

Guest: “If you don’t upgrade me, I’ll cancel!”

Manager: “Splendid! We actually have a waitlist for availability sent by other hotels due to the convention in town this weekend. The other hotels will be so grateful.”

Guest: “Wait, I didn’t mean—”

Manager: “Sir, you said you’d upgrade or cancel. Since an upgrade is impossible, I assume you intend to cancel?”

Guest: “You’re being so rude, you [racist slur]!”

Manager: “Cancellation it is! Have a good night, sir!”

She smiled her customer service smile and told me to give his room to the first person on the waitlist from our sister hotel. It was gone in five minutes, and the problem guest was gone by then, too!

Don’t Diss The Shirt If You Can’t Take The Hurt

, , , | Right | January 11, 2023

I am serving one of our awesome regulars. He also happens to be wearing a pink shirt. One of our not-so-great regulars comes in to get his cigarettes and spots the pink shirt.

Not-So-Great Regular: “Hey! Is that your wife’s shirt?”

Awesome Regular: Without skipping a beat as he picks up his bag of groceries. “No, it’s your wife’s shirt.”

He heads out and my not-so-great regular is left standing there wondering how the table got flipped on him so quickly.

You Don’t Choose The Cat; The Cat Chooses You, Part 2

, , , , , , | Related | January 11, 2023

My cat grew up as a street tom before we took him in (and washed him, got him his shots, and had him snipped).

We were often warned that a rather boisterous street cat doesn’t go well with a baby, so maybe we should get rid of the cat when I got pregnant. But that cat was abandoned enough, so we figured he’d get a chance, at least.

[Cat] protected me during pregnancy and would sleep at my side (my belly’s side).

[Cat] loves [Baby]. If I pulled [Cat]’s tail, I’d probably get an eye out; [Baby]’s allowed. I didn’t leave them alone together at first — of course not — but it seems [Cat] was more worried as to whether I was allowed alone with the baby. He slept at the foot of the baby bed and checked anyone approaching. [Cat] comes running like a bat out of Hades if the baby so much as whimpers.

As [Baby] is now a toddler, he’s allowed to walk [Cat] on his leash. [Cat] keeps close and polite, without pulling, as he does not with me. And he still sleeps with [Baby].

I wish I’d had a pet like that when I was growing up; he’s more like a guardian spirit than a regular cat. I somehow think if [Baby] ever gets bullied, the bully will have a faceful of cat before I even manage to intervene.

Related:
You Don’t Choose The Cat; The Cat Chooses You

Catcalling Should Be No One’s Calling

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2023

Today a customer learned a series of very important lessons.

One: do not catcall women. Non-negotiable.

Two: absolutely do not catcall women while you’re sitting outside a pub you’ve never visited before.

Three: absolutely, really do not catcall outside a pub when the woman in question is the bartender’s wife, coming in to see him.

Four: absolutely, really, definitely do NOT catcall that woman when you’re surrounded by regulars, many of them off-duty bouncers and barbacks, all of whom love the bartender’s wife because she makes them cake.

I’m the woman in question. I walked past the pub’s outdoor seating, heard the start of a catcall, and looked around in shock – in time to see the dude responsible get whacked in the arm by two regulars at once, while several others stood up to yell at him.

I doubt he’s going to be in again. Such a shame.

(Honestly, he’s lucky the regulars got to him before I did. That would have been lesson five, and he would NOT have enjoyed it.)

Thinking Outside The (Jack In A) Box

, , , | Right | January 10, 2023

Way back when we were still in high school my coworker is getting fed up with the grocery store we work in. After 2020-2021 did its thing, he is just fed up with the constant stream of entitled customers.

He is going away to college and hates management. On his last day, a woman walks up to his line and tries to browbeat him into taking a bunch of expired coupons.

Coworker: “I need to check with my supervisor.”

He slowly pulls out a Jack in the Box from under his till and methodically places it on the scanner and just starts cranking the thing. When it finally pops, he looks her in the eye and just says:

Coworker: “Yeah, he said no.”

She flipped out and screamed for a manager while he just cracks up, takes off his smock, and walks out.

I’ve heard he is now in college and thriving!